I visited Royal Oak, Michigan, for Savage Love Live at the Royal Oak Music Theatre. I didn’t get to all of the questions submitted by the large and tipsy crowd—a crowd that skipped the Stormy Daniels interview on 60 Minutes to spend the evening with me (so honored, you guys!)—so I’m going to race through as many of the unanswered questions as I can in this week’s column. Here we go…
Is there a way of breaking my cycle of being totally sexual and into someone for the first six months and then shutting down to the point that I don't want to be sexual with them at all? What's wrong with me?
How common a kink is it to enjoy seeing your significant other having sex with someone else?
Cis, female, 33, poly, bi. I bruise easily, am into BDSM, and love to swim in my condo's shared pool, where there are many seniors. Any advice for hiding bruises or getting over the embarrassment?
My husband is a sweet guy who is very good to me. But he is also a gun-toting right-wing conservative, and these days that feels like an insurmountable difference. We have been together for seven years and married for two. No kids yet. I love him—and the thought of leaving him is terrifying—but I honestly don't know if this is going to work.
When you are entering into something new, how do you differentiate between infatuation and real feelings?
Infatuation is a real feeling. Only time will tell if other real but more lasting feelings—like, like like, love, lasting love—will surface when those feelings of infatuation inevitably fade.
I can easily have an orgasm with toys but I can't have one with my boyfriend. What gives?
Your boyfriend could give you orgasms if you handed him one of those toys, showed him how you use it on yourself, and then guided his hands the first few times he used it on you.
Why does my girlfriend enjoy anal sex more than I thought she would?
Because she does. Because anal is hot. Because the clit is a great big organ and most of it’s inside the body and anal penetration may stimulate the backside of your girlfriend’s great big clitoris in a way that’s new and different and highly pleasurable and—hey, wait a minute. You aren’t disappointed she’s enjoying anal more than you thought she would, are you?
Donald Trump has been impeached, and you get to decide the punishment. So what sex toy gets used on him and who gets to use it?
Is there EVER a healthy way to partake in sensual parties while in a monogamous marriage?
The Dirty Sanchez—actually a thing?
I'm married and finishing my PhD while working full-time. As a result, I don't get to spend as much time as I would like with my wonderful husband. I know you're a workaholic as well. How do you manage to make your husband feel he is getting the attention/time he deserves?
Do you recommend specific prostate massage toys? Besides dick.
How do you approach people about a three-way without ruining friendships?
Do you think it's unwise to give and/or receive gay oral sex without a condom?
Are anxiety-induced orgasms a thing? They must be, because I have them.
I'm a 21-year-old, queer, poly, cis girl who recently got into this whole thing with a coworker at my shitty fast-food job. Long story short, we were having a rad time fucking around in the freezer… until he bashed International Women's Day on Facebook. I stopped getting him off by the frozen meat without an explanation, and I quit my job to go bind books instead. Is it too late to reach out and tell this dude that I dumped him because of his misogynistic online life? And how bitchy can I be?
On the Lovecast, how to pack your dildo… politely: savagelovecast.com
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