7 Days

1. RONCHETTI SAYS CNN LIED ABOUT HIS SKETCHY CAMPAIGN AD BY CALLING IT SKETCHY

And he used his claim to ask supporters for money.

2. FALL IS COMING, WHICH MEANS COOLER AIR, LOVELY LEAVES

It also means the end of monsoon season and more drought. Womp, womp.

3. SANTA FE BED BATH AND BEYOND STORE UNLIKELY TO BE AMONG DOZENS CLOSED NATIONWIDE

Will Ferrell’s Old School character will be thrilled. Our take? Meh.

4. REN FAIRE SELLS OUT

To the ramparts, lads and lasses!

5. STATE FAIR FINALLY ALLOWS CANNABIS BOOTH

But still no toking in the midway...yet.

6. TEXAS SHERIFF OPENS INVESTIGATION INTO FLORIDA GOV. RON DESANTIS FOR SENDING IMMIGRANTS TO MARTHA’S VINEYARD

New slogan idea: “Texas: We Do the Weirdest Shit Here.”

7. SANTA FE SKATER HEADING TO WORLD SKATE GAMES IN ARGENTINA

And let this be a lesson to you, kids—you never know how far shredding the gnar and/or gleaming the cube might take you.