The Fork: Drinky Summer

Summer Breaaaaaaaaaak, Yeah!

June 21 was the first day of summer here in the year of our lord 2023, and you know what that means—it’s time to get drunk as hell any chance we get. Naw, just kidding. We’re not a young Fork anymore. Or maybe we are. Actually, we don’t know how we age or not age, but we do know that summertime means people like to get complicated with their drinks, and we have feelings about that.

Most of them, actually, are about the Orange Julius which, as far as we know, no longer exists in or around Santa Fe. We used to drive out to the Pecos Dairy Queen just to get one, but someone told us they don’t do that anymore. Of course, we haven’t gone to look, nor have we called, and actually now that we’re saying this out loud, we should look into that. Our dad used to take us for an Orange Julius now and then as an after-school surprise. So we grant you, there are personal feelings all wrapped up in that, but still—how good does one of those bad boys taste? So good.

But we have actual, useable information in here, too, and it’s all about them drinks, ‘bout them drinks (no solids); we’re all about them drinks, ‘bout them drinks (no solids)...and so on to the tune of the Meghan Trainor song that we think is called “Booty City Bass and the Booty’d Out Booty Party.”

Anyway, without further adieu, here are some drink recipes (sourced from the pages of SFR) you can make at home.

Like this first one from SFR pal and cocktail expert Natalie Bovis, from our recent Summer Guide. It sounds delightfully sweet, and Natalie even has suggestions for garnish and a non-alcoholic version; read of her words and make of her drink:

*************

Cane Dance

When the earth is as parched as our tongues, it may be time to make an offering to the gods of mixology with a rum-based libation. Speaking for myself, anything with rum makes me feel like I’m on vacation, even if I’m just sitting in my own backyard!

• 1 ½ ounces spiced rum
• ¾ ounce lemon juice
• ¾ ounce orgeat
• 3 ounces pineapple juice
• 1 teaspoon grenadine

Garnish: pineapple chunks and cherries on a pick

Mocktail version: sub spiced apple cider for rum

*************

Switchel

If’n you don’t know what switchel is, it’s a sort of vinegar drink that’s great for the gut, but a little tastier thanks to the addition of things like ginger or, if you’re nasty, rum or whiskey. Here’s a little recipe that produces about two quarts and is a real winner for parties despite the vinegar-ness.

• 1 5-inch piece of fresh ginger
• ½ cup apple cider vinegar
• ¼ cup maple syrup
• Juice of 1 lime
• Pinch of salt
• 5 cups sparkling water
• Fresh ginger, mint and blueberries to garnish (though any berry will work)

*************

And, of course, there’s the bars this summer. We’ve been loving As Above So Below (formerly Altar Spirits), not only because the Railyard-based bar has a totally comfy space in which to hang, but because it’s woman-owned and run (what’s up, Caley Shoemaker? You’re so dope). When we want to get fancy but it’s, like, the middle of the day, we’ve been known to stop by Crash Murder Business for any of the coffee drinks named after groups of animals that include things like edible glitter, whipped cream and other colorful accoutrements. You’ll find nice patios all over the place in Santa Fe and outside of town, from the low-key vibe of Tesuque Village Market to the swanky rooftop action at the aptly-named Bell Tower Bar at La Fonda on the Plaza (that’s a hotel, for you out-of-towners).

We also dig The Brake Room outpost from the folks at Santa Fe Brewing Co., which boasts a patio reminiscent of a Texas joint (plus you’ll find the Bang Bite Filling Station food truck out there most evenings); and don’t even get us started on a pleasant late-afternoon coffee sipped while chilling in the breezeway at Luna Santa Fe. That’s where the CHOMP Food Hall lives, and there’s an Ohori’s coffee shop, too, plus that New Mexico Hard Cider spot that not only serves up fine ciders, but showcases local artists.

We’ve found some fantastic Midtown and Southside patios, too, from the Plaza Café Southside’s spot and its many umbrellas, to the breezy, beautiful outdoor seating at Rowley Farmhouse Ales (they’ve got some great fruity beers for summer, too). Yeah, it’s gonna be a drinky summer, alright, just remember to pace yourselves and drink water. Oh, and always, if you love some place that you feel doesn’t get enough attention, hit us up anytime!

We love you, Orange Julius!

Snack Corner

This week’s snack corner is really more about snack aesthetics than it is the snacks themselves, and by that, we of course mean that we wanna show you this bitchin’ chip bag art reader Mark M. brought to our attention. “We need snack art like this here in the US,” Mark says. And he’s so right. Anyway, check out the art on this bag o’ vinegar and salt chips from New Zealand (we like it so much we’re gonna float on by the way they say “vinegar” before “salt”):

Also

-Didja hear the one about how the Legal Tender will re-open for the eight-billionth time in Lamy soon, this time under the auspices of backer Allan Affeldt and Café Fina chef Murphy O’Brien? Affeldt has owned the building for some time, and O’Brien actually nearly had a go at the restaurant there in 2019. Ultimately, he chose to go full-on-Fina, but he’s back now, in partner form, according to the Santa Fe New Mexican’s Teyu Vita. Normally we’d do some dunking here, maybe rib folks for the way that place seems to open and close with freakish regularity. That said, we’re hearing great things about Café Fina all the time lately, so...maybe this’ll work out?

-Last week someone was asking us about food at Santa Fe Fuego baseball games, and reader WHD (seriously, their first name is initials so we’re not sure how to go about not including their full name, which we usually just don’t do) dropped a line to say they were ballin’ it up recently and came across all kinds of beer, Frito pies and Jarritos. Sounds solid to us. Apparently they even take Venmo for the beers!

-The Santa Fe Farmers Market Del Sur Market (which is all about the word “market,” apparently) will open this year on July 4. If you didn’t know about that, it’s all the same reasons you love the Railyard Farmers Market, only it’s on the Southside. Included in the big opening are performances from Baile Folklórico’s Los Niños de Santa Fe, family activities with the Santa Fe Children’s Museum and, of course, totally awesome snacks and foods and more.

-Albuquerque-based news station KRQE has a piece about the best green chile cheeseburgers in the state, and four Santa Fe joints made the cut: Second Street Brewery, El Milagro, Cowgirl and Horseman’s Haven Café. Just know that, we guess. Normally we’d link all those places, but we just linked the piece which itself has links. #ItHasLinks

-If you’ve been by the original location of beloved coffee shop Ohori’s, perhaps you’ve noticed they’ve been slowly moving into the space opposite the main zone. It seems this’ll be some kinda lounge/gift shop space, and we’re here for it. In fact, we’ll be over there sipping coffees and downing biscotti like it’s our freaking Jay-Oh-Bee. Because it kind of is, but also because that’s just what we were going to do anyway. As always, Ohori’s remains our favorite coffee spot in all the land, just sayin’.

This is just a pleasant song to listen to while perusing The Fork.

More Tidbits

-California-based taqueria chain Taqueria Garibaldi is in hot water with the feds after hiring a fake priest to trick its employees into impromptu confessions involving work. Not only that, but tips for workers reportedly often went to managers, overtime was denied and God only knows what else. As of now, the company is on the hook for $140,000 in back pay and damages. We prayed we’d never have to utter these words again, but don’t hire fake priests to cajole work-based confessions out of your employees, people. We don’t care how commonplace the practice is, it never turns out well.

-In its never-ending quest to make white folks say things like, “Oh, seriously? That’ll be so fun, Susan!” Costco will reportedly begin implementing sushi bars at some of its locations. We don’t know what that means for the Albuquerque Costco, but we do know that there are actual sushi restaurants to which we can go, so that’ll probably just be what we do.

-Indie-ish cinema powerhouse A24 has a new cookbook out, and it’s all about the creepiest foods from movies. Scrounging includes dishes from films like The Breakfast Club, Elf and others. We think it’s...it’s fine. Like, this is fine.

-Instant Pot, that company that makes (or made or whatever) those electric pressure cooker contraptions that everyone you ever met talked about incessantly a couple years back but then inexplicably dropped forever, has filed for bankruptcy. It’s probably a complicated thing, but it seems like maybe the product was so good that people just had to buy it once? Even when things broke down—a rubber seal or inner pot or whatever—they were easily replaceable without getting a whole new one, and according to Salon, even the heaviest Instant Pot users were going yeaaaaaaaars without replacing their devices. So there you have it, America—well-made things kill companies. Thank goodness big car is looking out for our economy!

-We only just now heard about how whiskey brand Maker’s Mark adopted a truffle-sniffin’ puppy named Star last month. We don’t even care about the implications of truffle whiskey, or whiskeyed truffles or dog meat served with whiskey and truffles—we just need you to click the link and look at this magnificent beast as soon as possible. Also, side note? We once lived in a house where we drank so much Maker’s that our friends started to be like, “Are you OK, The Fork?” We weren’t, it turns out, but we are now; the truffle dog’s very existence solved all our problems, actually. Anyway, Star is adorable and spends her time in the distillery, then goes home with one of the workers. Apparently she’ll one day be the truffle-sniffingest dog in all the land!

A Totally Scientific Breakdown of The Fork’s Correspondence

In the print edition of SFR this week, Café Fina apparently rocked so hard it’s all anyone can think about anymore.

Number of Letters Received

30

*Thanks for reading, gang!

Most Helpful Tip of the Week (a barely edited letter from a reader)

“Ugh, I really miss the Knoife, the Spork, and La Forkette. Isn’t it time for another break, Fork?”

*It is not.

Actually Helpful Tip(s)

“Oranges and tangerines are pretty good for wheat beers, too.”

*We actually knew that, but we’re glad you bring it up, because you’re so right!

Quaffing when we can,

The Fork