The Fork: You Down With GSC?

Having brought up Girl Scout Cookies last week, we’ve been in that weird position that’s like...like, do you ever wake up after a nap and have the fiercest sweet tooth? Or do you ever find yourself walking along and suddenly thinking painfully, horribly, endlessly about the mighty Samoa (that’s the chocolate/roasted coconut one, and it’s clearly the best—suck it, Thin Mints)? We do. We did. We have! And we still do. Even now, just typing this, we’re kind of like, “Where’s them Girl Scouts at with the cookies?” And we’re going to find out where they are, just as soon as we take the time to educate you plebs about the GSCs (that’s what we call ‘em) situation.

For example, GSCs date back to effing WWI! Well, 1917, anyway. Seems some advisers to the Girl Scouts of America were down with bake sales, but when an Oklahoma troop called The Mistletoe Troop (adorable) started selling them in their high school cafeteria, people were so down.

Cut to 1922, and The American Girl magazine (being the official magazine of the GSC) published a recipe article along with some math that claimed a troop could bake six or seven-dozen cookies for somewhere in the neighborhood of 26-36 cents—and then turn around and sell each dozen for 25-30 cents. That’s pure profit, baby! Or it’s not, we don’t know, we’re terrible at math. How does labor factor in when it comes to 1920s bucks?

By the 1930s, according to the GSC site, Girl Scouts in Philadelphia were selling cookies out of the city’s gas and electric company windows, whatever the hell those are. Not only that, the site tells us, but they were learning how to do marketing and sales and other skills, like having cookies that taste so good we’re still talking about it today.

In the 1940s, though, since sugar and butter shortages were very much a thing, the Girl Scouts pivoted to selling calendars. That was all well and good, and there’s probably some weirdo collector market out there for WWII-era calendars, but we can’t even imagine never having a Samoa through a whole-ass war. After things started to return to normal, though, people wanted GSCs so badly that they were more popular than ever, and by 1948, the org itself licensed something like 29 bakeries to make them thangs.

In the 1950s and 1960s, a lot happened: Chocolate Mint cookies (now called Thin Mints) flared into existence, the number of licensed bakeries decreased to 14 (but made more stuff, so it evens out or whatever) and special branded boxes became the norm. By the mid-’60s, there was even the Peanut Butter Sandwich cookie, which people will try to convince you is better than the Samoa, but they’re DEAD WRONG.

The 1970s were a crazy time for those GSCs, too, what with Saul Bass creating the logo we know and love today, cookies getting names like Do-si-dos (and the dang Thin Mint) and even fewer bakeries (four) doing even more things. According to the Girl Scouts site, it was “a groovy new look.” This was also the era in which Samoas were invented, and it’s the best thing to ever happen to anyone.

The 1980s brought literally no change except they slapped photos of Girl Scouts playing soccer and stuff on the sides of the boxes.

The 1990s brought up the cookie selection to eight, and the Girl Scouts introduced low-fat and sugar-free cookies. We don’t know if there’s a Samoa version like that, sorry, but we do know that in some regions, they’re called Caramel deLites, which is cool.

Through the aughts, the aught-tens and the aught-nows, even more stuff happened. There are online interactive cookie sales portals, some Girl Scouts attended the freaking Oscars, the GSA started offering cookie awards and those GSCs finally got kosher and Halal certified. In this period of too many years to fathom, your old pal The Fork also ate roughly infinity Samoas (and Thin Mints, too, sometimes if it was late at night and we’re out of Samoas and if the cookies have been in the fridge because they’re so much better cold).

So tell us—which one of you is sending us GSCs (or do you have kids selling them, because we’ll buy some through a representative who’ll never divulge our secret identity)?

“But wait, The Fork,” you likely just spat out, cookie crumbs flying from your wet mouth like detritus that collected near some kind of horrible hole, “where do we even get GSCs?!” Fear not, fearful reader, for we’ve got a link to search tool riiiiiiiiiiiiiight here. You should be able to buy some starting Saturday, Feb. 25, but nothing lasts forever—not cold November rain, not cookie booths. So get it together.

Have we mentioned we love old commercials?

Also

-Santa Fe Restaurant Week has been going for a few days by the time this The Fork drops on Thursday, Feb. 23, and you’ll still have til March 2 to take advantage of special menus, special deals and special times at special restaurants throughout our special town. This is the first SF Restaurant Week in two years, so go nuts. Oh, and get the full list of participating spots right here.

-Only In Your State-dot-com (which we still think might be a thing where people pay to get featured, but we’re not 100% on that, so don’t think we’re for-sure saying it, we’re just saying) says that Santa Fe’s El Milagro has the best burger in Santa Fe. “When you walk through its doors, you may notice the tasteful decor and feel the warm and inviting ambiance,” writes Melissa Mahoney in a strong contender for the upcoming The Fork’s First Annual Writers Who Put Words Together Without Actually Thinking About What They’re Saying Awards. This is not to besmirch El Milagro, at which we’ve loved eating—we’re just dunking on other writers like the jerk we are, and because The Fork is so intricately put together that we’re above reproach. #ComeuppanceNever

-BREAKING: We’ve returned to Restoration Pizza several times now, and we like it. We get that it’s not from New York, we’re just saying it tastes good.

-Several readers have reached out to say they’re missing certain menu items at Violet Crown Cinema, and we’re inclined to agree. We particularly miss the Yucatan salad, which had a freaking quesadilla all up in it, plus jicama. We also understand that everything in the world changed and suggest y’all smile because it happened rather than cry because it’s gone.

-Far as we know otherwise, it’s been kind of a slow food week around here, but we’re always down with tips at thefork@sfreporter.com. 

What we hum to ourselves when we’re heading to Ohori’s.

SHOUT-OUT FROM A READER!

Y’all are blowing it with the shout-outs. Start shouting-out some shout-outs, shit. Did a server at a local restaurant nail it? Are you just super-down with that thing you ate? Last week, reader Hilary B. sent a whole-ass AI checklist that was so funny we almost died! We really want this shout-out thing to work, so hurry it up and do what we say.

More Tidbits

-Italians (as in people who fully full-on live in Italy) are in the midst of a Starbucks pilot program featuring coffee made with olive oil. While we ADORE both coffee and olive oil, we can’t help but feel like the country of Italy has better options for both of those things. The new drinks should find their way to America soon, whereupon insidious Tik-Tok influencers whose entire personalities are based around drinking Starbucks, going to Target and eating at the wildly homophobic Chick-fil-A will make videos about how they live in some fucking van and now drink dumb-ass Starbucks olive oil coffee before they do some dance trend like it’s anything.

-Ruh-roh, though, because when it’s not busy cooking up coffee drinks no one needed, Starbucks appears to be recalling hundreds of thousands of bottled Frappuccino products over fears they contain glass. We don’t wish harm on anyone, so we hope the influencers are taking extra precautions...like maybe patronizing a local business instead of being so devoid of self-awareness it makes us wanna barf.

-Speaking of influencers, Eater-dot-com’s Amy McCarthy has asked that people stop buying food from those jamokes, and we love her for it. “Regardless of how excited you are about the newest trend on TikTok, buying things that you plan to ingest from random influencers on social media is an objectively terrible idea, and no one should do it,” McCarthy writes, later adding that, “it’s still pretty shocking to me that so many people are willing to eat something made in a total stranger’s home kitchen because another total stranger told them to.” Nailed it. Read it right here.

-The Shamrock Shake is back at McDonald’s, you idiots. Hahaha! Woah, just kidding. Dunno why we’re so salty this week, but it might have something to do with how scouring the internet feels terrible. Anyway, the Shamrock Shake is back, beautiful friends, and there’s one with bits ‘o’ Oreo in it.

-Lastly in not-just-local news this week, check this piece from Bon Appétit-dot-com that features a Whole Foods worker who doesn’t stop shoplifting when she sees it. What a champ. As always, the rule should be if you see someone shoplifting something they NEED from a grocery (like food or, say, diapers), no you didn’t. Don’t protect the status quo, friends, especially now that Bezos owns Whole Foods. Like, he’s ruining literally thousands of lives and we’re supposed to snitch on some single mom trying to feed herself and her kids the only way she can? You think Kroger gives a shit about starving people? Did y’all learn nothing from Les Mis? Don’t be Javert, because that dude has no choice but to throw himself in a cistern—that’s literally all snitching and obsession gets you. Seriously, don’t be on the side of the billionaires. Ugh. We’re getting mad again.

A Totally Scientific Breakdown of The Fork’s Correspondence 

In the print edition of SFR this week, find out why Santa Fe’s Bread Shop is nothing short of amazing.

Number of Letters Received34*Insert barely pithy comment here.

Most Helpful Tip of the Week (a barely edited letter from a reader)”Why would you talk about farts?”*We encourage you to look up farting’s place in literature, cinema and, well, basically all media. They’re highbrow. Get the net.

Actually Helpful Tip(s)”My favorite way to fix [Brussels sprouts] currently is to halve or quarter them, then sautée in a hot wok with veg oil, then add in 1/4 cup of chile crisp, tossing for another 2 min or so in the wok. Delicious!*Thomas J. coming in hot with the GOOD idea!

Comeuppance never,The Fork