Game Over

In the early 2000s, the fine folks at Insomniac Games brought a spirited young Lombax (yeah, it's a fake species that's sort of like a cat) named Ratchet and an adorable defective robot named Clank together, and the gaming landscape was forever blown away. Equal parts creative sci-fi absurdity, platforming/shooter brilliance and slapstick gold, the series has run for over a decade, spanned three console generations and generated nearly a dozen games before hitting the big screen last week in one of the most disappointing uses of a gaming license since that unbelievably terrible Super Mario Bros. movie with Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo. And that's saying something, as we're pretty sure there's never been a good game-to-movie adaptation, anyway.

In the animated Ratchet & Clank film, we learn that the evil Chairman Drek (a painfully over-the-top Paul Giamatti) is systematically destroying various planets throughout the universe to farm their most iconic landmasses in an effort to create his own utopic world. When the galaxy is threatened thusly, a superhero cadre known as the Galactic Rangers are called to save the day. These superheroes are led by the ridiculous Captain Qwark (Jim Ward, also from the game series), a complete idiot who is more interested in fame and accolades than the actual well-being of the universe. Usually, this squad could handle anything, but given the especially horrendous situation, they actually host open tryouts for additional members, and this is where our hero, Ratchet (voiced by the games' James Arnold Taylor), comes in.

Through a series of goofy misadventures, we learn that the little Lombax is a great mechanic, with a big heart and no shortage of good intentions. Despite this, no one really gets him, including his boss, Grimroth (a pointlessly minor role for John Goodman) and the Galactic Rangers themselves, who give Ratchet the same old "You'll never amount to anything!" spiel that every kids movie apparently now utilizes.

But of course, he does, thanks in no small part to his tiny robot pal Clank (the always fantastic David Kaye), who is all about being good and who basically gives Ratchet a reason to care about things, outside of him being the good guy. If it sounds underdeveloped, that's because it absolutely is, which is especially criminal given the wildly enjoyable storylines of the game series. Drek is evil because he is, Ratchet is good because he is, anyone who dreams big can make anything happen and blah blah blah. Even for a kids' movie, Ratchet & Clank is so bareboned and paint-by-numbers that by the time we learn there's actually another villain behind everything, we mostly just wish the thing would end.

Subtle nods to the Playstation universe and precious winks to fans of the game series are cute and all, and Sylvester Stallone does provide an enjoyable turn as Drek's enforcer, Victor, but the overall value of the film falls someplace between your kids made you do it and the rainiest of rainy day nap movies. You'd have to be a fan of the series beforehand to even want to give this flick a shot, and even then it mostly just hurts your feelings they'd do you like this. The animation is subpar, the jokes are so boring it hurts and even a super-cool montage of the property's signature goofy weaponry (one gun turns people into sheep) isn't enough to redeem Ratchet & Clank by the end of its (thankfully) short running time. Insomniac Games should be pissed their characters have been used this way, and the rest of us should probably save the price of admission and use it toward one of the vastly superior games.

Ratchet & Clank
Directed by Kevin Munroe and Jericca Cleland
With Taylor, Kaye, Ward, Stallone, Giamatti and Goodman
Violet Crown, Regal 14 PG, 94 min.

Santa Fe Reporter