3 Questions

3 Questions with ‘Swiping America’ Reality Show Star Ashleigh Warren

A queer dating show star reflects on her love-at-first-sight relationship with Santa Fe

We collectively love to mock the concept of reality TV, but we keep watching for a reason: Peeking through a camera into the lives of others allows us to shift our perspectives on (and perceptions of) our own lived experience. So when streaming service MAX’s (formerly HBO MAX) new queer-inclusive dating show Swiping America brought its cast to Santa Fe, star Ashleigh Warren let us vicariously see the city’s enchantment through fresh eyes by sharing why our hometown was her favorite location from the program’s cross-country trip. This interview has been edited for length and clarity. (Siena Sofia Bergt)

Was there anything the producers did, or anything in the environment of the set, that helped you feel safe in sharing yourself on screen?

I would say that throughout this entire journey—I originally, obviously, had never been on TV, had zero desire to be on TV—they worked some kind of magic to where you don’t really feel like the cameras are there. They’re never in your face. And they’re always super respectful of the date. So especially on my [Santa Fe] date, it just felt like everyone was so far away. It wasn’t too much. It wasn’t too little. It was perfect. And I think that let us kind of break down our walls and connect more. And there was gorgeous scenery that you’re just not going to get at that level in New York, and they did a really good job of making everyone feel like they’re safe and they can just enjoy the date. I mean, I expected cameras right in your face and having to pretend that they’re not there. And it wasn’t like that at all. It really wasn’t. I know a couple friends that are on other shows, and they don’t feel that at all. So it’s really the opposite experience. It was really cool to know [the crew] are there, but they also become your friends and it doesn’t feel like you’re shooting this show that the entire world is gonna see.

What, if anything, did you find most surprising from your time in Santa Fe?

That I would totally go back. It’s so beautiful. I mean, I love a big city. I’ve always lived in a big city. And I think Santa Fe was just such a breath of fresh air. It was also the first time I felt, I think, super relaxed in our journey. And it felt so romantic. Like it’s just—every day is romantic there. And I was just very surprised that I’d never been there, considering how pretty it is. I mean, you don’t hear a lot about it. And I would 100% go back tomorrow—it’s magical! It has something for everyone. It’s artsy; it also feels slightly modern and cultural, and it just feels like everyone is accepting—which is strange. I didn’t expect to feel that way. I thought, ‘I’m Black, I’m queer, this could be an interesting situation.’ And it wasn’t. It was so great. It’s like its own little country, kind of. It just doesn’t feel like it should be where it’s at on the map. You just get everything.

If—or when—you have a chance to come back, what do you want to check out or spend more time with?

I would love to go and not have to worry about the filming. I remember we rented a place that was breathtaking, and I loved that [cell service was spotty] at that house. I had to work, so it was kind of like, ‘Ohmygod, I’m freaking out,’ but had I not had to work, not having a lot of service is so amazing. You know, you’re really unplugged. And then if you want to go to the city and get a nightcap or whatever, you can. And I love that everything kind of closes down. I think we were outside at 10:30 pm and nothing was open, and I’m like, “I’m not even mad—let’s go home!” It’s boundaries! Like, go to bed. Go get some sleep. Go read a book. Get some water. You don’t need to be outside all the time. And I think because our entire job was to be outside the entire time, Santa Fe was so refreshing because it felt like, OK, we’re having a good time in a completely different kind of way. And I think it’s everyone’s favorite city to some degree. We all talk about Santa Fe.

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