1. COUNCILORS WITHDRAW PLANS TO REBUILD PLAZA OBELISK
“The City Different” seems like a cooler motto than “The City That Rebuilt the Racist Monument” anyway.
2. MAYOR BENCHES PROPOSAL FOR ARENA SOCCER AT GCCC
At least city City Hall only spent five months working on this half-baked idea.
3. AFTER OSCARS WINS, EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE IS NOW THE MOST-AWARDED MOVIE OF ALL TIME
Which is weird, because we could swear Hollywood has been saying nobody would like movies with Asian leads forever.
4. CITY LABOR SHORTAGE REPORTEDLY TO AFFECT PARK UPKEEP THIS SUMMER
Here’s a thought—don’t throw your trash on the ground, citizens.
5. FORMERLY INCARCERATED PEOPLE TO HAVE VOTING RIGHTS UNDER BILL HEADING TO GOVERNOR
Nothing but applause from us on this one.
6. MLG EXPECTED TO SIGN FREE LUNCH BILL FOR SCHOOL KIDS
Pizza rectangles for all!
7. LEGISLATORS WORK LATE AS THE SESSION END DRAWS NIGH
The return of Daylight Saving means no one really knows what time it is anyway.