Three Fall Snacks
We’re still trying to figure out if kids are expecting to come to the Forktress of Solitude in search of candy this Halloween, but we’re also feeling really snacky lately.
It started with a Reese’s branded Klondike bar (what would we do for a Klondike bar? Call our estranged mother, for one...or, like, kick a puppy into the sun)—which was amazing—and ended up with a list of things we really want to eat in place of full meals.
As such, we’ve compiled some simple recipes for fall-appropriate snacks, and here they are:
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Caramel Corn
Yes, please. And it’s easy!
You’ll need:
- 10 cups popcorn, already popped
- 1 cup butter
- 1 cup brown sugar
- 3 tsp. vanilla extract
- 1/2 tsp. baking soda
Now make it:
- Melt butter in saucepan over medium heat
- Add brown sugar and stir until mixed
- Bring to a boil while stirring
- Once it’s at a boil, stop stirring
- Add vanilla extract and stir well once or twice or thrice
- Add baking soda and stir well
- Drizzle over popcorn in a bowl and mix and fold until coated
- Enjoy!
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Baked Apple Chips
Even easier than the last thing!
You’ll need:
- As many apples as you think will make enough apple chips (any variety, but honey crisp is probably the way)
- Cinnamon
Now make it:
- Preheat the oven to 250 degrees Fahrenheit
- Core and slice the apples thing (here’s a good corer)
- Sprinkle as much cinnamon on as you think you can handle, for an extra sweetness, feel free to mix some brown sugar all up in there at a 2-to-1 ratio
- Bake in 5-minute increments, using one slice as the test chip; the chips are ready when that test one is crispy to your satisfaction
- Let cool
- Enjoy!
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No-Bake Peanut Butter Oatmeal Choco Cookies
Get mixing, dorks!
You’ll need:
- 2 cups sugar
- 1/2 cup milk (or half-and-half if you’re insane)
- 1 full stick of butter (no joke)
- 1/4 cup cocoa powder, unsweetened
- 3 cups oats
- 1 cup peanut butter
- 1 tbsp. vanilla extract
- Just a li’l dash of salt
Now make it:
- Pop some parchment paper on a baking sheet (you don’t have to bake, though, promise)
- Bring the milk, sugar, butter and cocoa to a boil in a saucepan at medium heat...let boil for about a minute then remove
- Add your oats, peanut butter and vanilla extract and fold/stir it in
- Once mixed, dash that salt dash all up in there
- Using a spoon, plop bits o’ it onto the parchment paper
- Let cool for 45 minutes (though you can eat it warm earlier with that spoon if you want)
- Go nuts and pop any leftovers in the fridge
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We know we’ve been recipe heavy of late, but we also bet worse things have happened to you in your life. Go forth and make these snacks!
YEAH!
Also
-We recently learned about a new locally produced whiskey called Big Nose Kate, which was named for the ladyfriend and crime partner of none other than Doc Holliday! Word is, this particular Kate once ran a Santa Fe dancehall, and now there’s a whiskey distilled with the help of one Caley Shoemaker, whom we hear is set to open Altar Spirits in the Railyard at some point.
-We also heard tell of an exciting new French restaurant and bakery called Le Tour that’s set to open in the cursed Lucky Goat spot at Cerrillos Road and Manhattan Street that also once housed State Capital Kitchen and, if you’re real ancient, a Pizza Hut. No word on an opening date yet, but we’ll tell you more if/when we hear more.
-Plant Base Café (which rules if you don’t eat meat, so you know that we know that it rules) announced recently that it will expand its menu to include breakfast. If the pancake photos we saw are any indication, we’re gonna love it.
-Oh. Our. God. Have you heard of Door 38 Pizza? It snuck into Burro Alley downtown without so much as a word and is now over there making Detroit style pizzas. As we all know (or should know), Back Road Pizza makes an excellent Detroit pie, but a spot dedicated to them? Eff yes.
More Tidbits
-Ruh-roh, folks—Butterball recalled 14,000 pounds of turkey products this week due to “possible foreign matter contamination.” That could be anything! Anyway, as this piece from Forbes points out, you might wanna ask where the turkey came from if you’re eating at a restaurant soon.
-BREAKING: Cool World star Brad Pitt has a rosé winery, and it’s about to release its newest vintage. We just thought you should know that.
-Apparently Kraft has launched some kind of mac ‘n’ cheese club for people who aren’t aware they can easily get good mac ‘n’ cheese. It’s called KRAFT FLVRS (not kidding). It’s a box, it comes to your door. In what kind of world are we living?
-Albertson’s CEO Vivek Sankaran told Yahoo! Finance this week that any supply chain inflation and shortages we might see soon will still be nothing compared to the early days of the pandemic—you know, when everyone went bonkers and bought all the fucking paper towels and toilet paper? Anyway, Albertson’s apparently made so much money in its second quarter 2021 that nobody should feel bad about shopping someplace else.
-Bad news for onion fans as the CDC is warning or a salmonella outbreak related to fresh, whole onions imported from Mexico and distributed across the country by ProSource Inc. If you’ve got onions right now, maybe just be extra careful. Here’s a link with more information.
-Eater-dot-com has a story about the biscuits from television program Ted Lasso. We imagine this will be a delightful discovery for some of you. For us? We think it’s odd that show’s conflict almost always amounts to “I did a terrible thing to you, other character,” which is then immediately met with “That’s OK.” Jeeze.
How could Who Framed Roger Rabbit? be so good, and Cool World be soooooo bad?
A Totally Scientific Breakdown of The Fork’s Correspondence
In this week’s print edition of SFR, the ever-dirt-knowledgable Riley Gardner teaches us a thing or two about soil health.
Number of Letters Received
29
*And yes, we know it’s fall!
Most Helpful Tip of the Week (a barely edited letter from a reader)
“I’ve grown attached to you, Fork, but not too attached.”
*Please don’t kill us!
Actually Helpful Tip(s)
A couple readers asked if the altitude will affect marshmallow production since we learned to make them at sea level. A great question, and we’re working on an answer.
*Y’all are so smart, and that’s why we love you!
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Byeeeeeeeee,
The Fork