While most people in our lives start getting amped on summer because they can go outside more often, there's a certain contingent of SFR staffers who get pumped because of the hot slate of movie releases on the horizon. Check some of our top picks for the upcoming blazing months.
June 8, R
Directed by Ari Aster (who's from Santa Fe, y'all!), this tale of a lady (Toni Collette) who thinks her dead mom is haunting her weirdo kid is bound to be full of jump scares and, y'know, spooky kids. Sold!
June 15, PG
We loved The Incredibles' not-so-sneaky kid-ification of what basically amounts to the plot from Watchmen back in 2004, and we're bound to like it now. Bonus points? Holly Hunter's Elastigirl is somehow weirdly sexy. Don't act like you haven't thought that; we've seen the fan-made porn.
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom
June 22, PG-13
Lord knows we love Chris Pratt and his prehistoric abs, but we also love the world of JP, even if it's pretty dumb. Will they shoehorn Jeff Goldblum in? Probably!
The First Purge
July 4, R
Y'know in those Purge movies how one day a year allows for people to do whatever the hell they want? Here's the prequel you never asked for. This oughta kill 90 minutes.
Ant-Man and the Wasp
July 6, PG-13
Oh, you don't like Marvel movies? First off, bullshit. Secondly, We love Paul Rudd as Ant-Man because he's about the most charming guy ever and we also watched Clueless about 5,000 times.
Mama Mia: Here We Go Again
July 20, PG-13
The cast of the original Hollywood version of the ABBA musical reunites to probably make jokes about aging and … something. Wait a minute. This is stupid.
Hot Summer Nights
July 27, R
French indie film fuck Timothée Chalamet takes part in yet another coming-of-age story, this time set in Cape Cod. Probably someone will drag you to this and you'll have to say something like, "Yes. It was good."
The Spy Who Dumped Me
August 3, PG-13
Mila Kunis (from effing Jupiter Rising) and SNL standby Kate McKinnon join forces to make a movie that'll probably be in a theater near you for about a week and that you'll keep thinking you want to see but then never get around to seeing because you actually don't.
August 10, R
Jason Statham continues waging his long, courageous battle against fame with The Meg, a movie about a giant shark that does shark stuff while Rainn Wilson of The Office pops in now and then to say awkward and/or snarky things for which Statham gives him stern looks and then punches, um, sharks.
August 24, R
Based on the internet horror sensation that somehow caused some pre-teen girls to stab some other pre-teen girl, Slender Man tells the tale of the world's thinnest man who, after being misunderstood for years, tries to eke out a solitary existence in the woods where no one will make fun of him—but still gets the jabs from a bunch of punk kids.
September 14, R
It's not even that we're particularly mad about a Hollywood that pumps out remakes and reboots all the time, it's just that we thought Predator was perfectly fine. The new one tells the tale of an alien who comes to earth only to be attacked by soldiers and scientists. This awakens long-dormant invisibilty powers and the alien has no choice but to defend itself.
Johnny English Strikes Again
September 20, PG-1
Hey, Rowan Atkinson, we want to love you, we truly do. But this Johnny English nonsense—he's a bumbling British spy who probably accidentally cracks a case—has got to stop. Bring back Mr. Bean, man. Everyone would be so pumped.
September 28, No Rating yet, but it'll Probably be G or PG
Channing Tatum's voice stars as a yeti whose fellow yetis don't believe him that humans exist. Wait a sec—that's the reverse of the way it actually is. Sooooo clever, right?