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1. SANTA FE SINKHOLE SURPRISES SOME
We’re pretty much always expecting the gates of hell to open up and swallow everyone, but we’re glad no one was injured.
2. FORMER FARMINGTON SCHOOL DISTRICT WORKER SENTENCED FOR PLANNING TO STEAL AND RESELL THOUSANDS OF iPODS MEANT FOR NAVAJO NATION KIDS
“You shouldn’t try to steal and resell thousands of iPods meant for Navajo Nation kids,” is not a thought we ever thought we’d have to think, but here we are.
3. CITY’S WEEKLY WRAP SOCIAL MEDIA NEWSLETTER SAYS BICENTENNIAL POOL CONSTRUCTION IS ON PACE FOR MEMORIAL DAY OPENING
Write “Gov’t-run petri dish reopens” on your calendar for May 30 so you don’t forget!
4. SOME SFR STAFFERS SOMEHOW GOT MAIL ON MLK DAY
No jokes here, postal workers who had to do that, just a moment to say we’re sorry about your holiday.
5. NEW MEOW WOLF CEO USED TO WORK AT VIACOM
Nothing says neighborhood art biz like the guy from Viacom.
6. OMICRON IS REPORTEDLY GREAT AT ELUDING VACCINES
Living things that elude vaccines are jerks–microscopic or not.
7. TRUMP ABRUPTLY ENDS NPR INTERVIEW AFTER BEING FACT CHECKED LIVE
It was way cuter when Adam Driver did it.