1. FAMILY SAYS LOCAL FUNERAL HOME MIXED UP ASHES
Probably the home should invest in a label maker, or at least some pens and masking tape or something.
2. SAME-DAY VOTER REGISTRATION WON’T BE AVAILABLE COME NOVEMBER
Nothing’s cooler than more voting hurdles! Go early, people.
3. SANTA FE WENDY’S, SUBWAY ROBBED AT GUNPOINT; NO INJURIES REPORTED
How much could one really make off with from the $5 sandwich store?
4. FIRST FREEZE ON THE WAY
Get out the slow cooker. Put away the flip-flops. There’s no denying it any longer.
5. SANTA FE PLAZA REPORTEDLY CHOCK FULL O’ COPS OVER LAST WEEKEND
Even though there’s no monument to protect there anymore.
6. GOV. MICHELLE LUJAN GRISHAM PAYS OUT MORE TO MAN WHO ACCUSED HER OF GRABBING HIS CROTCH DURING CANDIDACY
Nothing says innocent like a six-figure payout.
7. PERSEVERANCE IMAGES SHOW EVIDENCE OF FLASH FLOODING ON MARS
Their other rover is in the arroyo.