CALIFORNIA BANS TAXPAYER-FUNDED TRAVEL TO 17 STATES WITH ARCHAIC LGBTQ+ LAWS
Ohhhhh, tough blow, Arkansas! But also, counterpoint: You suck
2. PREDOMINANTLY WHITE CALIFORNIA HIGH SCHOOL THROWS TORTILLAS AT PREDOMINANTLY HISPANIC HIGH SCHOOL FOLLOWING BASKETBALL GAME
And the tortilla-tossers had won, so basically they’re a bunch of racists AND sore winners. Nice job, parents of those kids!
3. DENVER’S COORS FIELD NOW SELLS HATCH GREEN CHILE
So maybe Gov. Jared Polis should just shut up about it forever.
4. STATE CANNABIS REGULATION ACT IS IN FULL EFFECT
Now nobody’s stopping you from getting blazed before work! They are? Well, certainly you could get blazed and drive. You can’t? And you can’t buy it anywhere yet without a medical card? Huh. OK, so this is pretty much just OK, then?
5. DEREK CHAUVIN SENTENCED TO 22 1/2 YEARS IN PRISON FOR GEORGE FLOYD murder
That’s progress, American criminal justice system, but not perfection.
6. BIDEN REPEATEDLY WHISPERS AT REPORTERS DURING BIZARRE NEWS CONFERENCE FOR INFRASTRUCTURE BILL
We’ll still take whispering over nonsensical ranting.
7. RIO ARRIBA SHERIFF ACCUSED OF INTIMIDATING WITNESSES
Cops have really phased over into a cartoonish level of supervillainy at this point.