1. FAKE SHAMAN ASSHOLE WHO BROKE INTO CAPITOL JAN. 6 REPORTEDLY WON’T EAT IN JAIL BECAUSE IT’S NOT ORGANIC FOOD
    To offer some words in the local parlance, allow us to say awwwwwwww, pobrecito!
  2. TRUMP GETS BANNED FROM MORE AND MORE SOCIAL MEDIA, APPS AND SERVICES
    You probably already know, but, like, doesn’t it feel good?
  3. TRUMP ALSO DROPS FRAUD SUIT IN NEW MEXICO
    As we said, Maggie Toulouse Oliver would have beat his ass.
  4. SNOPES SAYS A MAN DID NOT TASE HIMSELF TO DEATH DURING CAPITOL NONSENSE ON JAN. 6
    But doesn’t it speak volumes that we all heard the rumor and thought, “Yup.”
  5. NEW COVID CASE NUMBERS ARE DROPPING THROUGHOUT THE STATE
    But this isn’t your cue to incinerate your masks and start spitting in people’s mouths.
  6. NATION TO SPEED UP VACCINATIONS
    Stick us and stick us good, America.
  7. SANTA FE POSTAL WORKER SAVES FALLEN SENIOR
    First Cliff Clavin and now this—postal workers, y’all are allllllright.