1. TRUMP FILES SUIT AGAINST SOS MAGGIE TOULOUSE OLIVER FOR CREATING AN “UNCONSTITUTIONAL ELECTION” AMONG OTHER CLAIMS
    We know this isn’t productive per se, but maybe they should just duke it out in the ring. Our bet’s on Maggie beating his ass.
  2. PEOPLE [SHOULD BE] COMING TO TERMS WITH NOT SEEING FAMILY FOR CHRISTMAS
    It’s like all the birthday wishes we ever made came true at once, but we get why others would be bummed.
  3. VIRGIN GALACTIC FLIGHT ABORTED AFTER ENGINE FAILURE
    New Mexico: Where even our rockets are like “Doing the thing sounds like too much work.”
  4. UP TO 130,000 UNEMPLOYMENT CLAIMANTS WILL SEE EXTRA $1,200 IN BENEFITS FROM THE STATE THIS WEEK
    That oughta handle some of your rent and…nothing else. Happy Holidays!
  5. VACCINES START ARRIVING IN NEW MEXICO
    We’re hoping when we get the shot it’s like the opening of Crybaby.
  6. IT’S UNCLEAR WHETHER CITY CLERK YOLANDA VIGIL RETIRED OR WAS FORCED TO RETIRE BY MAYOR ALAN WEBBER
    We’d be a little surprised to hear it was forced considering how Webber handles the removal of things.
  7. SOME KIND OF FIGHT BREAKS OUT IN FRONT OF THE ROUNDHOUSE; NONE CHARGED
    With the upcoming legislative session all virtual, we expect cyber bullying to replace capitol scrapping.