1. AMY CONEY BARRETT SWORN IN TO SUPREME COURT
    You know—because everything is the absolute worst.
  2. IT SNOWED ALL FIERCE
    Which we only know about because everyone kindly let us know through their social media accounts. Endlessly. All night. And most of the next day.
  3. VOTE ON CITY’S CULTURE, HISTORY, ART, RECONCILIATION AND TRUTH COMMISSION POSTPONED
    Perhaps to give it time to realize its acronym is perilously close to “SHART.”
  4. LOCAL RESTAURANTS BEGIN COVID-19 CONTACT TRACING
    And no, Beckie, it’s not some new wave of fascism that only you and your survivalist bunker full of guns understand. People are dying.
  5. ANTI-GRISHAM PROTEST AT ROUNDHOUSE A MOSTLY MASK-FREE AFFAIR
    Think these people know what the Darwin Awards are all about?
  6. US ASSISTANT SECRETARY FOR HEALTH ADM. BRETT GIROIR TELLS REPORTERS HE THINKS WE CAN CONTROL THE PANDEMIC
    OK. So do that, maybe? Thanks, bud.
  7. PLEASE VOTE LIKE PEOPLE’S LIVES DEPEND ON IT
    They do.