1. TRUMP PAID $750 IN TAXES IN 2016/2017
    “We literally could not care less,” say supporters.
  2. CITY COUNCIL TO SELECT MEMBERS OF NEW POLICING TASK FORCE
    Because if there’s one things cops love, it’s oversight.
  3. APPARENTLY IT’S GONNA BE A PRETTY DRY WINTER
    There’s always indoor ultimate frisbee.
  4. PUBLIC SCHOOLS ENROLLMENT DOWN, JEOPARDIZING BUDGET
    The outlook for snow days is also not looking good.
  5. COVID NUMBERS CREEPING BACK UP
    But at least you were rude to those waiters while you had the chance, right?
  6. MUSEUMS AND CULTURAL SITES STILL REOPENING, THOUGH
    Let us mask up, art friends!
  7. FIRST DEBATE HAPPENED THIS WEEK BUT WE PUBLISH BEFORE IT AIRS
    We’ll still bet you $50 Trump is a piece of shit and Biden doesn’t seem to know where he is or what’s happening.