1. GENDER REVEAL PARTY STARTS CALIFORNIA WILDFIRE
    Those parties were already a dumpster fire.
  2. DID IT SNOW LAST NIGHT?
    People were saying it would snow, weirdly, but we’re writing this on Tuesday afternoon so we don’t know if it’s gonna snow yet. What’s the future like, Santa Fe?
  3. BIDEN RELEASES CAMPAIGN SIGNS IN ANIMAL CROSSING VIDEO GAME
    That’s totally what we want rather than healthcare and, like, a living wage. Thanks, Joe!
  4. TRUMP SUGGESTS PEOPLE TRY VOTING TWICE
    A felony a day keeps election integrity away.
  5. MEOW WOLF WORKERS UNIONIZE
    “…..,” says management in response.
  6. DEMOCRATIC CONGRESSMAN AND SENATE HOPEFUL BEN RAN LUJÁN WON’T DEBATE REPUBLICAN OPPONENT MARK RONCHETTI
    He’s smart not to—Ronchetti has dominion over the weather!
  7. ZOZOBRA BURNS, LIVESTREAMED AND SANS-CROWD
    Forget the forest fires; that smoke lingering in the air is comprised of our collective woe.