1. NEW DATA SAYS RESTAURANTS ARE ONE OF THE RISKIER PLACES TO BE COVID-WISE
    They tie with “going anywhere” and “doing anything.”
  2. KIRTLAND MAN RACKS UP 14th DWI
    That should be our state slogan at this point: “Like driving drunk? Move here!”
  3. “ONLINE SCHOOL SUCKS,” SAY PARENTS WE KNOW
    Though we’re not sure if it’s about the online part or the kids-always-at-home part.
  4. TAOS RESIDENTS SAY OUT-OF-STATERS ARE CAUSING A RUCKUS
    Imagine—an area where people who don’t live there show up and do weird shit the locals hate. It’s like a mini-lesson in colonialism.
  5. COUNTRY EXCEEDS 5 MILLION CONFIRMED COVID CASES
    We’re number 1! We’re number 1!
  6. THAT AXIOS/TRUMP INTERVIEW WITH JONATHAN SWAN HAS TO BE SATIRE, RIGHT?
    Swan’s the hero America needs—and homeboy’s Australian as fuck!
  7. NEW MEXICO GIRL SCOUTS TO OFFER ONLINE CLASSES
    JUST TELL US HOW WE GET THE EFFING SAMOAS!!!