- ARSON SUSPECTED IN THE CASE OF THE BURNED-DOWN SFFD FIRETRUCKS
It’s like raaaaiiieeeeaaaaaaaaain on your wedding daaaaay!
- JEFF BEZOS MADE $13 BILLION IN ONE DAY LAST WEEK AS $600 UNEMPLOYMENT AID CESSATION LOOMS
Welp, that’s it for humankind, folks! We had a good run, but we’re clearly trash people now—let’s just go ahead and disband the species.
- MAYOR WEBBER CITES TALE OF TWO CITIES IN OPENING LETTER FOR REWORKED CITY BUDGET PLANS
Slightly better than Oliver Twist but still an interesting choice with a high ranking on the does-not-understand-the-source-material-o-meter.
- TRUMP SAYS SECRET POLICE ARE COMING TO ABQ
And his Bernalillo County sheriff lapdog couldn’t lick his face fast enough over it.
- NO, CAFÉ PASQUAL’S IS NOT CLOSING
But it certainly was a fun few hours spreading alarming gossip on social media, right Santa Fe?
- CENSUS BUREAU TO HOLD TRAINING FOR POTENTIAL HUNDREDS AT CONVENTION CENTER
Now’s your chance to gather with others—and we mean really gather—COVID deniers!
- TOURISTS JUST KEEP RIGHT ON POURING INTO THE CITY
We’d love to take your money any other time, Texas, but can you be cool for a sec? We only have chile with an “e,” not chili with an “i.”
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