1. MORE NEW MEXICANS REPORTEDLY ADOPTING ANIMALS DUE TO COVID-19
    Would it be weird to try and trade in the cats we have for shiny new kittens?
  2. MONSOONS ARE HERE!
    The only good piece of news we’ve had all year.
  3. GOYA BEANS SUCK
    Apropos of no politicians, it’s just an objective truth and we’re just sayin’.
  4. SHOWS FILMING IN NEW ZEALAND CLEARED TO RESUME PRODUCTION
    Whereas if we even get to make iPhone movies in America ever again it’ll feel like a miracle.
  5. SANTA FE RESTAURANT OWNERS SEND LETTER OF SUPPORT TO GOV. LUJAN GRISHAM’S RENEWED RESTRICTIONS ON INDOOR DINING
    Why is “people over profits” a bad phrase in this world?
  6. …BUT CARLSBAD JUDGE RULES WITH A TEMPORARY LIFT TO THE BAN
    But at least everyone who whined their way into this reality will vigilantly wear masks when they visit, right?
  7. CIVIL RIGHTS HERO, CONGRESSMAN JOHN LEWIS DIES AT 80…
    No jokes: Just a sincere thanks from all of us.