1. ZOZOBRA TO BURN VIRTUALLY THIS YEAR
    Aw, rats—and this was the year it was gonna be pretty much the exact same thing as every other year, too!
  2. LOW HOTEL OCCUPANCY IN SANTA FE IN APRIL
    It’s almost like we should put our eggs into more places than the tourism basket.
  3. CITY HIRES A DOZEN NEW COPS
    Did anyone open the box to make sure none are cracked? Boom. More egg jokes.
  4. SOCIAL DISTANCING REPORTEDLY WENT OUT THE WINDOW OVER MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND
    This will be referred to as the “Aw, Fuck It” era in future history books.
  5. LOCAL RESTAURANTS ADAPT TO COVID-19 AHEAD OF PROBABLE TOURISM DIP
    Three months ago we’d never have wanted to eat in a parking lot, now we’re just psyched to leave home.
  6. TRUMP SAYS ECONOMY “WILL SOAR IN 2021”
    This dude won’t even wear a mask around people, though, so maybe it’s time we stop taking him seriously once and for all?
  7. UNM PRESIDENT SAYS HE DOESN’T KNOW IF SPORTS WILL RESUME IN THE FALL
    They should just start a Fortnite team and embrace the now already.