7 Days

10.2.2019

  1. MATTEL RELEASES LINE OF GENDER NEUTRAL DOLLS
    A super-cool piece of news that should also help to weed out your most regressive friends.
  2. GRAFFITI AT GENOVEVA CHAVEZ COMMUNITY CENTER REPORTEDLY A MAJOR PROBLEM
    Just an idea, but maybe recruit some local artists to help facilitate something cool and artistic instead of acting like street art is some horrible slight.
  3. SFPD CONSIDERING “TRANSPORTABLE” SPEED CAMS IN BOXES
    Vans or no, it would still piss off Philip K Dick, and trust us—you don’t want to piss of the ghost of Philip K Dick.
  4. COLORADO SPRINGS AD FIRM TAPS INTO THE FEEL OF SANTA FE FOR NEW TOURISM AD SPOT
    We feel like it’s a little low on housing, a little high on potholes and like everyone is just a little too close to everyone else sometimes …
  5. COMCAST BOOSTS LOCAL INTERNET SPEEDS
    Just imagine how quickly you’ll be able to email your complaints!
  6. RIO ARRIBA COUNTY SHERIFF’S DEPUTY FIRED FOR TASING STUDENT, TELLS RIO GRANDE SUN REPORTER TO “FUCK OFF”
    Y’all are aware that if a reporter is talking to you for a quote that they’ll probably quote you, right? Oh, and we can’t believe we have to say this, but you shouldn’t tase kids.
  7. EXPERTS SAY CLIMATE CHANGE MORE DIRE THAN ORIGINALLY THOUGHT
    See, millennials? You don’t have to worry about retiring—you can just die!
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