1. BILLIONAIRE DAVID KOCH DIES
    First Epstein and now this? C’mon, rule of threes!
  2. SANTA FE CRIME RATE DROPS 0.39%
    So you can stop locking your doors, leave your car windows rolled down and never you mind about that guy with the gun on the Plaza shouting at longtime local champions likes Roque Garcia.
  3. LAS VEGAS, NM, HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL COACH PUNCHED IN THE HEAD DURING SANTA FE GAME
    And it’s that spirit of good sportsmanship that makes football fans such a treasure.
  4. BOLSANARO WON’T ACCEPT AID FOR AMAZON FIRES UNLESS MACRON APOLOGIZES FOR COMMENTS
    Either way, isn’t this Bezos’ responsibility? He did rip off the name…
  5. ESPAÑOLA HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS WIN ROBOTICS COMPETITION IN CHINA
    Robots are cool, these budding scientists are cool—no jokes here, just sheer, robot-based pride for our state.
  6. ZOZOBRA ORGANIZERS TO LIMIT PURSE DIMENSIONS
    We miss the days when you could observe a three-story screaming puppet burn to the ground with whatever sized bag you chose, and drink water from your own water bottle—LIKE AMERICANS.
  7. JUDGE SAYS JOHNSON & JOHNSON MUST PAY $572 MILLION FOR CONTRIBUTING TO OPIOID CRISIS
    Yes, more tears.