1. ALLIGATORS SPOTTED SWIMMING IN RIO GRANDE THROUGH TEXAS
    The locusts have come, too.
  2. CITY OKs USE OF DRINKING WATER FOR GOLF COURSE IRRIGATION WHILE SEWER ISSUE IS INVESTIGATED
    Cue the outrage! Print the bumper stickers!
  3. AOC VISITS IMMIGRATION CAMP
    And it’s so much worse than you ever imagined.
  4. MEANWHILE, PRIVATE FACEBOOK GROUP RUN BY CAMP GUARDS CONTAINS UTTERLY VILE AND HATEFUL CONTENT
    Find yourself a different paper to read if you support this stuff.
  5. WHALING RETURNS TO JAPAN
    Jesus, really?! What the hell else can happen this week?
  6. SANTA FE COMPANY EARTHSTONE TO SELL PRODUCT AT WALMART
    We’re torn since Walmart is evil, but we also like good things to happen to hometown heroes.
  7. MICHELLE LUJAN GRISHAM ATTENDS SANTA FE PRIDE
    Woah—so did we!