- JOY HARJO NAMED FIRST NATIVE AMERICAN US POET LAUREATE
Heck yeah, she was! Congrats, Joy!
- BONE SPURS RESEMBLING HORNS FORMING IN SKULLS OF CONSTANT PHONE USERS
You’re welcome, future humans who evolve totally sick-ass heavy-metal horns.
- SANTA FE BANDSTAND UNDERWAY ON THE PLAZA
Normally you’d only get to see most of these bands, like, three to five times a month—tops.
- ALABAMA HOMOPHOBE ROY MOORE ANNOUNCES 2020 SENATE BID
Instead, Roy—and hear us out—why don’t you just go away forever?
- STATE TAX AND REV ISSUES NEARLY $100 MILLION IN FILM REBATES
If that doesn’t lure Billy Jack 2, we don’t know what will.
- TRUMP AUTHORIZES IRAN STRIKE, CHANGES MIND LAST-MINUTE
The only reason we’re still alive is the fact that our president has goldfish brain.
- CENSUS TO USE DRONES WITH 2020 COUNT
Everyone else to fear the obvious precursor actions to Skynet.
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