1. STARBUCKS CUP APPEARS IN GAME OF THRONES EPISODE
    If the dragons and ice zombies hadn’t already strained your suspension of disbelief, you can probably live through this.
  2. SONIC THE HEDGEHOG MOVIE DESIGN FREAKS EVERYONE OUT SO MISERABLY THAT DIRECTOR PROMISES CHANGES
    “Oh, fun!” say all the designers now forced to work overtime to make up for what was obviously a studio blunder.
  3. MVD REGISTARTION LETTERS MISTAKENLY ADD ERRONEOUS ZERO TO COST OF RENEWAL
    Don’t worry, they will “work with you” if you overpay—whatever that means.
  4. BEAR WANDERS INTO LOCAL COUPLE’S YARD
    Make sure you bring in your yard salmon at night and lock away your pick-i-nic baskets and honeypots carefully.
  5. CITY IMPLORES VAPE SHOPS TO STOP SELLING TO MINORS AS DISRUPTIVE CLASSROOM INCIDENTS PURPORTEDLY RISE
    “They also look like a bunch of assholes,” the statement reads.
  6. MUSHROOM DECRIM ON THE BALLOT IN DENVER
    Meanwhile, in New Mexico, our government wants to own the cannabis dispensaries. Cool. Real cool.
  7. SHOKHO IS CLOSING
    Forty years of sushi in the desert—domo arigato!