1. CITY FINALLY TAKES DOWN PLAZA HOLIDAY LIGHTS
    And so begins that exciting two-week period before they go back up again.
  2. HUMAN SHITSTORM ALEX JONES’ VIDEO DEPOSITION RELEASED; HIS “SOURCES” FOR SANDY HOOK HOAXER GARBAGE—4CHAN, YOUTUBE—ARE INDEED WACK
    -Yup—he sucks more than anyone ever, alright.
    -Also claims a “form of psychosis” is to blame for his insane allegations. Nope. Mental illness is one thing. You’re just evil, bro.
  3. GOV. GRISHAM UPS FILM INCENTIVE CAP
    Some ideas for the next wave of Tamalewood movies: Sandworld (like Waterworld, but sand), Cactusworld (like Waterworld, but cactus) and Chileworld (like Waterworld, but chile).
  4. DEVOS PLANS TO ELIMINATE SPECIAL OLYMPICS FUNDING
    OK, now it’s just hitting a level of cartoonish super-villainy with these people.
  5. MAYOR WEBBER SAYS POTHOLES ARE “FOREMOST IN THE MINDS OF SANTA FEANS”
    That, and how we’re all being forced out of town by an absurd housing market hellbent on favoring the rich. But yeah, bumpy streets is big for us, too.
  6. [REDACTED] MUELLER REPORT TO BE RELEASED AFTER ALL
    And you know what that means! Wait, do we know what that means?
  7. ASSAILANTS WITH HAMMERS TRY AND FAIL TO BREAK INTO SANTA FE CANNABIS DISPENSARIES
    Yeah officer, it was three guys in suspenders. One of them had a bowl cut, one was bald and one had curly hair going all over the place. They kept poking each other in the eyes …