1. HOBBY LOBBY MOVING TO SANTA FE PLACE MALL
    They just figured they could not give a shit about women better if they were near a Sbarro.
  2. SB 20 PASSES BOTH HOUSES, A STEP TOWARD MAKING IT LEGAL IN NEW MEXICO TO CHANGE BIRTH CERTIFICATE GENDER MARKER
    And considering that the governor is a human being, we think it’s likely she’ll sign the thing.
  3. TUCKER CARLSON REFERS TO WOMEN AS “PRIMITIVE” AMONG OTHER THINGS IN UNEARTHED RADIO COMMENTS FROM BETWEEN 2006 AND 2011; WON’T APOLOGIZE
    Men are trash. (But don’t say that on Facebook, you’ll get banned.)
  4. MEANWHILE, CAPTAIN MARVEL MAKES A BAZILLION DOLLARS
    They should dedicate the milestone to Tucker Carlson.
  5. KATE NOBLE VOTED SCHOOL BOARD PRESIDENT
    Mayor probably would’ve been cooler (for everyone), but this is OK, too.
  6. CITY SEEKS DEVELOPER PROPOSALS FOR FORMER UNIVERSITY CAMPUS
    And someday, we’re gonna get that dog park.
  7. TRUMP CALLS APPLE CEO TIM COOK “TIM APPLE”
    If that’s how it works, we’re gonna start using “Donald Dictator.” Aw, who are we kidding—we already were!