1. STATES SUE OVER TRUMP’S FAKE EMERGENCY
    If we never hear the word “fake” again, it’ll be too soon.
  2. SNOW PLOW OVERTIME SURPASSES LAST YEAR
    … and the “we really need the moisture!” proponents flock to their keyboards—only to find their fingers are woefully frozen.
  3. SANTA FE TREES AT RISK FROM CLIMATE CHANGE
    As is everyone and everything else that exists.
  4. ROGER STONE POSTS IMAGE OF JUDGE IN CROSSHAIRS ON INSTAGRAM
    Because why show a modicum of respect?
  5. BERNIE SANDERS SAYS HE WILL RUN FOR PREZ AGAIN
    We’re more interested in a supercandidate hybrid—maybe Gillimala Bookulsi Warruchar. Yeah, we like that one.
  6. RBG RETURNS TO SUPCO FOLLOWING CANCER TREATMENT
    And we barely even made it out of bed today.
  7. PALM SPRINGS, CALIFORNIA, ELECTS FIRST ALL-LGBTQ CITY COUNCIL
    A good day for those of us who love sticking it to ‘phobes.