1. VIRAL HOUSE-TIDYING SHOW HAS PEOPLE DOING ORIGAMI WITH THEIR T-SHIRTS
    We expect a return to the pile on the floor in 3, 2, 1 …
  2. DION’S PIZZA UNDER CONSTRUCTION IN LAS SOLERAS
    The old one sparks joy, so corporate will keep it.
  3. FORMER SUSANA MARTTINEZ BODYGUARD FILES SUIT ALLEGING PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN GOV AND ANOTHER BODYGUARD
    These truly are the days of our lives.
  4. GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN ENDS
    Enjoy it while it lasts.
  5. FORMER STARBUCKS CEO MIGHT RUN FOR PREZ
    Just what we need, another fuckin’ billionaire in charge.
  6. US SUGGESTS INVADING VENEZUELA
    That always seems to work out so well, doesn’t it?
  7. MEDIAN HOME PRICE HITS $380,000 IN SANTA FE
    If SFR staffers combined all our salaries, we could almost afford half that.