1. MARTIN HEINRICH ENDORSES LEGAL POT, CATCHES UP TO GARY JOHNSON
    Johnson will always be the funniest stoner politician, though.
  2. SECOND ROOFTOP POOL PROPOSED FOR ELDORADO HOTEL
    On the second floor, though, so beer bottles won’t smash quite so satisfyingly, governor.
  3. WE FORGOT TO MENTION THE VILLAGE VOICE DIED LAST MONTH
    But SFR is still going strong. Eat that, haters.
  4. DEMONS FOOTBALL BREAKS ITS 35-GAME LOSING STREAK
    Atta boys!
  5. PRANZO IS CLOSING
    How you respond to this news defines your character.
  6. AMALIA RESIDENTS SICK OF PUBLICITY
    Which is odd, because you’d think people in Amalia are just craving attention.
  7. STATE RELEASES TEACHER RATINGS
    Public Education Department’s devotion to bureaucracy rates as exemplary.