The Fork: Healthier Resolutions

Healthier Food Resolutions

Healthier than what? Good question. Healthier than doing some bonkers thing to try and lose weight, because, like, aren’t we beyond that point where anyone struggling with or happy with their weight is treated like a loser? We’d like to think so, but we still think it’s OK to wanna get healthier than you were before, especially if you’re not feeling great most of the time. This is that time of the year when people spend a couple weeks trying to radically alter their lives. And though that does happen for some folks, the rest of us will probably be kind of gung-ho about it for a couple weeks then go back to old habits.

That’s why we’ve been looking around for things you can do if you want to feel a little better in the ol’ food department. These aren’t silver bullet things. These aren’t quick fixes (you don’t need to be fixed; you’re not broken). These aren’t a shortcut to whatever. They’re just food-based things you can do to change things up a little.

-We’ve said it before, but we’ll remind you in case you’re one of those “you can pry my steak from my cold, dead hands,” people—try introducing more plant-based stuff into your repertoire. There’s a whole wild and wooly world of fake meats out there (most of which we don’t love, but it’s really up to each person to find their own thing), and the nut milk and nut butter situation in the world is out of control—in a good way.

-Think of it like you’re trying to do a little better, not drastically alter your entire eating routine. Manage expectations, that’s what we’re doing anytime we eat half a thing of Goldfish in the middle of the night—and we mean the actual fish, not the cracker! Jay-kay, we mean the cracker.

-Make your own shakes, y’all. Like, get a blender, learn about plant-based proteins, get your house some nice cinnamon and start Googling recipes. The way we hear it, meal substitutes are all well and good, but if you can get the real deal (or make your own sub with your own ingredients), not only can you have more control, you can have more taste.

-Make a plan, friends. We’ve often been the type of eater who suddenly realizes we’re hungry, then we try to work it out from there. If you prepare snacks or have a meal plan in mind for at least the next couple days, you won’t wind up eating the rest of the thing of Goldfish like we did. This also includes leaning more heavily on things you can definitely eat rather than spending all your time focused on things you can’t.

-Expand and contrast. Make 2022 the year you try out things you’ve either never had or that you’ve always wanted to eat more often or whatever. The way we hear it, colorful foods (think beets and eggplants and things that aren’t leaf-green or meat-brown) can be your friend, and we do love us some beets.

-And though there are tons more suggestions we could make, we think one of the best things you can do is try out all the different ways to prepare eggs. We like a poached egg but didn’t know how to make one until a few years back, and now all we think about is eggs Florentine. Every waking moment. Gather ye egg recipes while ye may, y’know? Get some protein. Dip that toast. Garb that sandwich.

We’re unsure what a walrus has to do with fruit, but welcome to hell.

Also

-Soon-to-open French café Mille shared a photo through the social medias that showed its gorgeous new covered and heated patio. It’s still just a little cold out there for such dining, Mille concedes, but soon enough you’ll be living the dream.

-Happy 15 years of fun to the current owners of Madrid’s Mine Shaft Tavern, and happy 75th to the tavern itself. Seems the little ol’ Madrid haunt that everyone knows and loves (you know, the one adjacent to the Coal Mining Museum) is getting up there in years. It’s the kind of place to catch a show and a burger, and we wish all involved many more years of hot tavern action.

-Word on the street is that a spot called Dogos is taking over the former Real Burger location on Cerrillos. From what we’ve learned, we’re talking Mexican food and hot dogs, though we’ve yet to get an official confirmation.

-If it’s wine you’re after, Eastern New Mexico University is hosting a launch party for its Lescombes Family Vineyards Eastern Sunrise, a sweet white wine that will hopefully help the school earn a few scholarship bucks for its deserving students. The event goes down on Tuesday, Jan. 18 at Hervé Wine Bar from 7 to 9 pm.

-Bad news from everyone’s buds at The Food Depot, where the nonprofit food bank unfortunately announced it will have to cancel its usually annual Souper Bowl fundraising event in Santa Fe—which, in case you didn’t know, was literally just a bunch of champion chefs making the best dang soups they could muster—due to the Omicron variant of COVID-19. SFR’s Bella Davis has more. If you just thought something like, “Oh, too bad!” to yourself and you’re able, pop by the website and donate a few bucks to help New Mexicans in need. Further, if you’re going to donate food, think more like things people would want to eat rather than stuff like pumpkin pie mix or, like, condensed milk.

Adele likes wine, we hear. Or she at least drinks it.

More Tidbits

-USA Today would like you to quiz yourself about what Girl Scout Cookie you might be. Samoas, being the non-transphobic Gryffindor of the Girl Scouts world, should obviously be the result to which we all aspire.

-The merry olde queen of merry olde England has partnered with merry olde Mary Berry of The Big-Ass British Bake-a-Thon for a pudding-off whereupon simple, non-royal pudding makers might win the greatest prize of all—the queen maybe eating your pudding. Weird.

-Dunkin’ Donuts has a new product called Omelet Bites, and they’re just what they sound like (which is to say creepy and weird). The little things look kind of like donuts, but they’re made of eggs and stuff. Yikes.

-That’s all for this week, ya buncha Hulk-a-Maniacs!

A Totally Scientific Breakdown of The Fork’s Correspondence

In this week’s print edition of SFR, you shan’t find a story about food. But you will find stuff about jails and trumpets and bikes and stuff.

Number of Letters Received

33

*People defending the Chipotle building after we thought the spray paint thing was kinda cool. We’ ll concede that was short-sighted if y’all can agree that maybe you’d have been the kind of people at the Boston Tea Party all like, “But the East India Trading Company doesn’t deserve this!”

Most Helpful Tip of the Week (a barely edited letter from a reader)

Nope.

*Yep.

Actually Helpful Tip(s)

Also nope.

*Nope a third time.

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Resolved,

The Fork