We don’t have kids of our own because we’re not trying to stop doing the things in our life that we enjoy. Still, we do know our friends with kids always say stuff about how said kids want to make stuff together—like, recipes and food and stuff, and we figured that since Halloween is basically here (which we covered a little last week while admonishing the very existence of horehound lumps), folks might be looking for sweet treat ways to hang with their offspring.
With that in mind, please learn and accept that we once worked for a startup bakery in Venice Beach, California that was mostly about sourdough bread, but also made these big-ass delicious marshmallows. By that, of course, we mean that WE wound up making them a lot of the time and, since that bakery is closed forever and the people who ran it will NEVER find us, we wanted to share that recipe with everyone (just kidding, we asked if we could share the recipe and our old boss literally said “I can’t think of anything I care about less.”)
Anyway, you might need to get some extra equipment if you don’t have it. Our old boss ultimately told us that you could eyeball some of this, but you’ll at least need the candy thermometer we’re gonna mention below (here—we’ll link one—they’re way cheaper than a stand mixer, which we’ll also mention below).
Here we go!!!!
- Roughly 20 grams of unflavored gelatin (you can also use agar agar powder for a vegan option)
- 1 cup granulated sugar
- 1 cup honey
- 1/3 tsp. salt
- 1 tbsp. vanilla extract
- 1/2 cup powdered sugar
- 1 cup ice water
- Some kinda non-stick spray
- A stand mixer with the whisk attachment (you can try to do it by hand, but it’ll take you awhile)
- One of those candy thermometers
1. Spray down a 9x13-inch pan with the spray, then dust with the powdered sugar (you can use a 9x9 if you want really thick mallows). This step is totally kid safe!
2. Set aside for now.
3. In your stand mixer, pop in the gelatin and 1/2 cup ice water and let it sit for a second while you do the next thing.
4. Meanwhile, pop your salt, sugar, honey and that other 1/2 cup ice water into a little pan and stir over medium heat until the sugar noticeably dissolves. Monitor the actual heat with that candy thermometer (you’re looking for the mixture to reach 240 degrees F—and don’t let it boil over).
5. Once you’re in that 230-235 degrees F zone, start your mixer from before on low, then head back to that little pan and, when it hits that 240 degrees F, pull it off the stove and SLOWLY and CAREFULLY pour into the standing mixer.
6. Once you get it all in there safely, gradually ramp up the mixer speed to high and you’ll see the mixture will slowly but steadily turn into a thick white goo (we used an industrial-caliber mixer, so your results may vary, but we’d imagine somewhere between 10-15 minutes, or until the mixer bowl is still warm but, like, not hot, will do it.) Don’t turn off the mixer yet. Seriously—don’t.
7. When that bowl is only kinda warm, add your vanilla and let it run another minute or two until it’s all up in the mix.
8. With speed, get that goo into the aforementioned pan with a spatula (don’t use your bare hands like a bear eating honey from a jar) and spread evenly.
9. Dust with more powdered sugar and then let dry overnight (or at least 6 hours if you’re impatient).
10. Cut into cubes or whatever shape (dinosaurs?) and enjoy!
Now, we know this sounds like a lot to do, especially with a kid or more than one kid, but also, like, counterpoint: What the hell else are you doing? Might we also remind you that y’all have been slacking in submitting to The Great Fork Recipe-Off? It’s like you don’t even want this totally OK prize!
-So, other than the Santa Fe Foodies Facebook group kicking off its own website (santafefoodiesnm.com), we literally didn’t hear anything new or interesting in the local restaurant/food world this week. This happens sometimes. Because it’s autumn, maybe? Because it’s just a sad time to be alive? Oh, sure, some new spots have opened recently, but we’re not about to get into it with them yet because it’s early in their run, and we know folks need time to work out the kinks and such.
For now, we’ll just remind you that you can always send us hot tips and hot goss at email@example.com. We read every single email—that’s how we know which of you have crushes on us (and it’s A LOT of you).
-Oh, actually...there is just one more thing (said in Columbo voice): The Cooking with Kids Big Little Project is coming up at the Center for Contemporary Arts on Tuesday, Oct. 19. What is it? Well, it’s a a collaboration with photographer Gabriella Marks and Robert Nachman, and a whole bunch of chefs (known here as Superchefs) will help kids do cooking and stuff—because food and nutrition and kids and learning and stuff is cool. If you wanna know more, hit the website.
-According to the brain trust over at USA Today, researchers found drive-thru wait times rose this year by more than 25 seconds. That doesn’t sound like a lot of time, but go ahead and stop what you’re doing and silently sit there doing nothing for 25 seconds. Go. Did you do it? Not fun, right? Right. Of course we’re not as patient anymore! Remember when it used to be like “Oh, I can’t meet you on Tuesday because Falcon Crest is on?” Now television programs have six-episode seasons, and each episode is 11 minutes long. We have phones and stuff! Waiting is the worst!
-Popeyes’ (being the fast food chicken joint that we’ve heard isn’t gross) has kicked off Thanksgiving orders for its Cajun Turkey, and it sounds amazing at 10-14 pounds with all the spices and stuff. Word is they start at $39.99, but we don’t think there’s a Popeyes’ in Santa Fe, so maybe this is for the ABQ-ers?
-In also enjoyable chicken biz news, a Louisiana-based chicken chain called Raising Canes has apparently been so short-staffed (you know, because fast food chains pay like shit and nobody wants to live that way anymore) that corporate employees are being deployed to work fryers and stuff. Oh, God, it just feels so good.
-Lastly in the world of fast food chicken joints (we’re not sure how the national news section became so chicken-y this week, but we’ve got things to do, so deal with it), somehow beloved homophobic chicken chain Chick-fil-A is being sued by NYC-area plaintiffs who allege the company jacks up delivery prices online to offset associated fees. In other words, the company charges a low price for delivery, but otherwise makes up the difference by charging more for delivery items than in-store/drive-thru items. Also, they’ve funded conversion therapy camps, so fingers crossed they lose and lose hard.
-Oh, and there’s just one more thing (said in Columbo voice again): KFC, it turns out, has partnered with rapper Jack Harlow to donate a bunch of money to orgs in Harlow’s hometown of Louisville, Kentucky. Setting aside how we like that people from there pronounce it like “Luh-uhville,” we think that’s pretty cool, even if we did learn about this news item from the literal KFC Newsroom, a section of the business’ site with items that are all basically like “KFC is great!”
As you wish.
A Totally Scientific Breakdown of The Fork’s Correspondence
In this week’s print edition of SFR, our culture editor ate even more brekkie b’s and, he says, still somehow feels great.
Number of Letters Received
*Y’all sure hate the same candies we do!
Most Helpful Tip of the Week (a barely edited letter from a reader)
“I prefer other food newsletters.”
*Well, we prefer other readers, so...
Actually Helpful Tip(s)
No tips. Just praise.
Your chicken guy,