Why We Eat Goo

In case you missed it, we recently WENT OFF about how 2021 has been about the best strawberry year of our lives. We have no information about why this would be, but we hypothesize that the drop in pollution during the pandemic played a role in the delicious strawberries we keep finding. Either way, we’ve been on a strawberries and yogurt tear. No, not a strawberry yogurt tear—a tear wherein the tearing is torn by dumping a container of Brown Cow vanilla yogurt on top of freshly cut strawberries and GOING. TO. TOWN. ON. THOSE. BAD. BOYS.

It’s good. And we’ve never felt better.

But then we were all like “Why do we feel better? Is it the yogurt? The strawberries? IS IT BOTH?!?” It’s probably both, but this week we’re focusing on yogurt and the enjoyable benefits of that most delicious goo. You should eat more yogurt. You should eat Brown Cow (not a paid endorsement, we’re just a fan). You should know the following things:

Yogurt is crammed with calcium and, in many cases, one cup can contain up to 49% of your daily recommended intake. You’ll also find B vitamins and riboflavin (a word that sounds like it belongs in a techno breakdown). According to our research, B vitamins and riboflavin are great in the fight against things like heart disease and birth defects.

We’ve discovered you can find something like 12 grams of protein per 7 ounces of yogurt. A container of Brown Cow has 5.3 ounces, so, like, eat two containers. Or don’t, since this one study found people who eat a thing of yogurt are less likely to feel hungry afterward than if they’d consumed a similar caloric count via other, lesser snacks.

No, that Jamie Lee Curtis gut yogurt doesn’t provide special benefits that other yogurts just don’t have, but eating that goo on the reg can help with your digestive scene, particularly varieties containing the bifidobacteria and lactobacillus probiotics. If you hadn’t heard, probiotics are like the opposite of antibiotics, but rather than worsening that open wound you’ve got, they mostly just make your gut feel better. We’re not scientists, though, so don’t think this is all there is to that. Anyway, probiotics have also been shown to boost the immune system.

Yogurt is not a miracle food, but when it comes to things like heart health and weight loss and bone strength, it’s not only not hurting (double negatives forever!), it’s actively providing a barely perceptible degree of help. In other words, goo won’t bring you back to life, but it’ll, like, not be the worst thing you ever did for your bones.

***What’s that you say? You also want some totally factual and in no way jokey facts about the history of yogurt? You got it, dudes.***

-It is said that yogurt first appeared during the Neolithic Period (roughly 5,000 to 10,000 years ago), and that people probably discovered it because milk went bad someplace and they were all like, “Eh, fuck it.”

-It is said much of America didn’t really care about that flavored goo until 1930-something, when a young man named Isaac Carasso opened a yogurt factory that would eventually be called Danone. Later, his son Daniel was like “Hey, what if we called it Dannon?” to an empty room, and when nobody chimed in to say otherwise, he was all like “Good enough.” And now that’s a big old yogurt brand. Nuts!

-We eat a lot of yogurt in America, but in Canada, they’re apparently eating seven times more yogurt today than they were at the end of the 1970s. Do you think they were like “Hey, it’s the ’70s, let’s eat seven times more yogurt?” If it had been the 1980s, would they be eating eight times as much?

-Don’t ask us how people found out, but there were apparently a whole lotta ladies using yogurt as a skin cream kinda thing dating back to before the birth of Christ. How would they know? We don’t know how they would. Some kind of scroll diary that’s like “Marcus Aurelieus’ wife has the stalest figs in all the agora, and also I smeared yogurt all over my face today. Pompeii High School football rules!”

-”But, The Fork,” we assume you’re shrieking. “What’s the etymology of the word ‘yogurt?’” Well, dear readers, it’s an old Turkish word: yoghurt. The root, “yog,” roughly translates to “condense.” Words are fun and fascinating!

Oh, good, those weridos who did the song about foxes shouting “Ding-ding-ding-ding-ring-da-ding-da-dong” have a song about yogurt (or yoghurt, if you’re nasty).

Also

-Look, we promise we don’t want to just be a portal for items that run in the Albuquerque Journal North (and/or are written by Molly Boyle), but this piece on Paloma pastry chef Jessica Brewer is just too good to pass up. Our boss said he was working on a similar story, and that Boyle’s timing ruined the whole thing and now he’s basically going to cry forever, but we don’t give a shit about him when it comes to desserts. Or at all.

-Here’s another new restaurant alert for all y’all—a new Santa Fe spot called Paxton’s Grill is opening up in that new-ish little building at San Francisco and Guadalupe Streets that was once an ill-advised Starbuck’s. It’s new! What we know so far is that you’re looking at beer (30 local brews on tap, according to our source) and pizza, plus with a word like “grill” in the name, there are probably burgs and such. No website yet, but Paxton’s Grill reportedly opens July 15, being the same day the new edition of The Fork first goes out. New!

-If you haven’t joined the Santa Fe Foodies group on Facebook, you should. Seems whenever another thousand people join up (they’re almost to 4,000), group founder Robert McCormick makes that thousandth person a delicious flan. We’ve also picked up some great food recs from its users, and people like to argue about bagels there, so that’s cool, too. -Speaking of bagels, we heard the Eldorado Coffee Corral in Eldorado ships in bagels from New York. Anyone else heard this? Have you tried them? Should we go out there? Will you bring us one? Or a dozen? Do y’all wanna argue about bagels with us?-One last bagel note? What ever happened to that guy Bagel Bob in Santa Fe who taught bagel-making workshops? He was cool!

More Tidbits

-HuffPost-dot-com has some absolutely absurd advice about waiting an hour after you wake up to drink a cup of coffee. Apparently it’ll hit you harder or something, but we’re just kind of like “No, deal!” Says one Dr. Steven Gundry from the International Heart and Lung Institute for Restorative Medicine, “Cortisol generally starts to rise around 4 a.m., as does epinephrine (adrenaline), to get you ready for the day. Both cause blood sugar (glucose) to rise so you have plenty of available fuel. The caffeine in coffee also increases glucose, so if you want to get up and going, especially for a workout or just walking the dog, have that cup of coffee.” Still, though.............no deal.

-Over on Thrillist-dot-com, they’ve apparently just heard paletas are a thing. Hahaha! We’re from New Mexico, son! WE FORGOT MORE ABOUT PALETAS THAN YOU’LL EVER KNOW! If you live in Santa Fe, too, might we recommend Oasis Paletaria? Yes. We might. -If you’re looking for proof the devil is real, look no further than the existence of the Kraft mac ‘n’ cheese ice cream flavor from Van Leeuwen. Why, when quality mac and quality ice cream both exist, would you descend into this rabbit hole? No. No. Just...no way, man. Game over, man. No. Thank you, no. We...it’s...could...ugh. Gross.-If that idea grossed you out, just think of writer NaBeela Washington—who likens their family’s mac ‘n’ cheese recipe to an “almost-sacred dance.”

A Totally Scientific Breakdown of The Fork’s Correspondence

In this week’s print edition of SFR, Riley Gardner looks into the fragility of the food chain in the leadup to a local talk on that very matter. Read Riley’s story here. Always read Riley’s stories.

Number of Letters Received

44*

Some of you were bummed by the word “shit” in our last edition, so we’re going to suggest you avoid Voltaire’s 1759 novella Candide at all costs.

Most Helpful Tip of the Week (a barely edited letter from a reader)

“Are you proud? "

*Not really, but we’re getting by OK.

Actually Helpful Tip(s)

“I’ve been making a similar dish for more than 25 years. Add peppers, onions, sunflower seeds, celery and you have a fantastic veggie dish. If you need meat, add a diced chicken breast or good piece of diced pork. It is a dish you’ll never forget and make often. We call it “Stuff” and have it at least once a month

*An anonymous reader in response to our summer squash recipe from last week. Sounds amazing, too!

Probiotically yours,

The Fork