The Fork

Ode to a Delivery Driver

You Nailed It, Bud

Dear DoorDash delivery guy whose name we forgot,

Hey, bud. We just wanted to drop a line and thank you. Generally speaking, we don’t love ordering through the delivery apps—we actually kind of agree with Vinaigrette owner Erin Wade who, in an open letter last April, slammed apps like GrubHub for their effect on restaurants saying, among other things, that “you have encouraged customers to consider us an inconvenience and to order delivery via screens more of the time. This has been bad for restaurants. As takeout sales increased, we have had to cut jobs we could no longer afford.”

We get that. And we’ve been picking up food from local joints ourselves as often as possible. But, like the sometimes-too-busy nerds we are, we’ve caved from time to time and snapped up a quick meal that we knew would come right to our office or home with minimal effort. The thing that lets us justify this move in our mind is the local human element, the people such as yourself who lost jobs, got furloughed, needed extra income or whatever else (and we don’t know your specific situation, so no actual assumptions). We’ve even jokingly thought, “We’re an American hero supporting drivers like this” to ourselves, though we know that tips that probably range from $3-$5 if you’re lucky aren’t the glue holding your life together. We’ve also heard that some people have worked out how to remove tips post-delivery that you were probably counting on. We hate that for you. We hate that for everybody.

But we digress, because the whole point of this missive was to thank you. For a number of reasons:

  • You texted a funny Terry Crews meme to let us know you were coming as quickly as you can.
  • You DID come quickly (and the food was still piping hot).
  • You were masked up at the door and didn’t mind waiting while we fumbled to get ours on.
  • You didn’t say “You better give me a good rating on the app, man,” like the last guy (we’re going to give everyone a good review regardless of anything that happens because you’d have to be a real jerk to try and mess with people delivering food during a pandemic).
  • You DID say, “Your house looks cool.” Thanks, man. Our house totally does look cool.

This is all to say that at a time when we seriously needed that pizza, you made it happen in under an hour. And while there’s lots to be said for the folks who made the thing, you’re the reason we didn’t have to put on shoes or real pants.

We know the job can be dangerous and scary, and we know there are probably a million other things you’d rather be doing. Here’s hoping your tips are huge, your nights are short and your orderers are cool enough to put on their effing masks and be human beings about it. You really nailed it, bud.

Love, The Fork

You work out the connection.

Also

-Local bespoke-al dining events company Dig & Serve seems to be back up and running after the whole COVID-19 health order thing, and we hear they’re now offering safely distanced meals with the kicky new addition of overnight stays. Tickets to such events are extremely limited due to safety concerns, but if you wanna know more, hit up the website.

-The recently passed Homemade Food Act would make things a lot easier for New Mexicans with home kitchen businesses to do their thing(s). Assuming Gov. Lujan Grisham signs (which she almost certainly will), three big ol’ things will happen: Sales directly to consumers will be allowed (instead of stupid food stands or at farmers markets), folks will no longer need a permit from the New Mexico Environment Department AND such home food bizzers will be allowed to sell their items statewide. The whole thing is reportedly expected to become law on July 1, 2021 (that’s only a few months!).

-If you’re on the lookout for a prix-fixe Passover meal, the folks at Marquez Deli have a little something going on. Now, Passover is this Saturday, March 27, so you’ll probably need to hurry, but for $48 per person, you can feast on matzo ball soup, potato kugel, apricot honey-glazed roast chicken and lemon olive oil cake. Hit up marquezdeli.com for more.

-Perhaps a little less pressing might be Rio Chama’s upcoming Easter brunch and dinner events featuring crab bruschetta, prime rib, salmon oscar, a dang lamb shank and more. Rio Chama reopens on Friday, March 26, but the Easter thing is on Easter, being April 4.

-OK, we’ll remind you about this again when it becomes a real thing, but put it on your radar—we speak, of course, about the NM Safe Dining app. From what we hear, it’ll have info on which New Mexico restaurants have done the NM Safe certification, and you’ll apparently be able to earn digital creds that can be used at participating restaurants statewide. Here’s a link to a page that’s like, “coming soon!”

We were going to include the “Is it safe?” clip from Marathon Man (this isn’t that), but then we thought that would just bum everybody out. Don’t look it up if you don’t already know. You’ll regret it.

More Tidbits

-PSA: There is now a mango-flavored Pepsi. We hear it was around briefly last spring, but now it’s back forever. People liked it, apparently. We’ve never had it and don’t really drink soda (you know, because we’re morally superior to everyone else and when we go to sleep, nothing happens in the world), but if you like sodas that taste like fruit, here’s that, we guess.

-Do you know about chef Megan Dee? You should. She’s all about cannabis in food, but not just as a reason to be all like “Oh, bro, have you ever thought about us making a movie, but the movie’s ABOUT us making a movie?” It’s actually a lot more sacred than that according to this piece from Thrillist-dot-com’s Lauren Yoshiko.

-Didja hear that Krispy Kreme will give you a free donut every dang day in 2021 if you’ve been vaccinated? Too bad the Santa Fe location closed down, huh? Just know that if you’re near one and have been vaxx’d for COVID-19, you can get you a free be-holed fried dough circle if you present your “I got vaxx’d” card.

-You may have read recently in The Fork that spring has arrived (specific calendar dates be damned!), and that can only mean one thing (jay-kay, it can mean a lot of things): that Eater-dot-com has compiled a list of the best cookbooks of spring! Check ‘em out.

-We keep saying we’re going to get an air fryer because our friends Aaron and Jennifer have one and they’re all smug about it—but we don’t quite know where to start. Lucky for you, though, we spend almost all our time on the internet looking for food things, so here’s a handy list of things you should know if you’re also looking to stick it to your friends while frying up an artichoke or something.

-Oh, good...turns out eating lunch at your desk is an emotional and psychological minefield and none of us should do that and the pandemic has only made the effects worse! Turns out there’s science about how taking breaks is good? We’re always eating at our desk, though, so we’re scared. But maybe we’ll stop. Dang, being alive is hard sometimes.

While looking for something else, we found something glorious...

Finally

In the print edition of SFR, find out how the Little Free Library concept translates to feeding folks who just need a little help.

A Totally Scientific Breakdown of The Fork’s Correspondence

Number of Letters Received

42

*Thanks for pointing out our typo, gang. Make you feel big? Feel good? Guess we’re just not all smart like you.

Most Helpful Tip of the Week (a barely edited letter from a reader)

“Not hungover at all.”

*That was a good use of your time telling us that!

Actually Helpful Tip(s)

“A possibly-useful hangover tip imported from China: chrysanthemum tea. Good during or after large meals and/or lots of drinks. Basically an across-the-board overindulgence palliative that I’ve tried and believe helps. It’s cheap at Asian grocers, and easily prepared. Some people like to hold rock sugar between their teeth and sieve it through there when drinking it, if that makes sense. I skip that and drink it plain. And it’s very pleasant! There’s also the option of enjoying it without drinking too much or eating too much heavy food first. Perhaps you can try it and see how you like it.”

-Joel B.

“Not really a remedy but a way to avoid a hangover....I have a friend who swears by eating a cucumber before you go to bed. She says if she eats a whole cucumber after imbibing and before going to sleep, she never wakes up with a hangover.”

-Michelle C.

*Thanks for the cool hangover tips, buds! Let it be known to all those looking to escape a hangover

Special delivery: Our heart,

The Fork

P.S. We like how much music’s in this edition, hope you do, too!

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