The Fork

Hangover Cures Both Personal and Not

‘Tis the day after St. Patrick’s Day, which we can only assume means you’ve already vomited a bunch of green-shaded food and drink, and you’d give up your own Blarney Stone for a little relief. Aye, lads and lasses and enbys—we’ve been there. Feels like someone’s blasting a tin whistle at the hoighest (said Irishly) of frequencies, and you’re doying (said Irishly) for a little respite.

Not to worry, friends, as The Fork is here with tried and true (and personally tested) methods for dealing with that hangover. For you see, we were once like you. That is to say, we were a bottle or two of wine by night, pot of coffee by day sort of imbiber...if by wine we mean “literally everything we could find,” and by coffee we mean “the rest of everything we could find.” No, we wouldn’t say we were struggling with alcohol addiction (which, by the way, we take very seriously, runs in our family and for which there is lots of help if you feel you or someone you love needs it), but we were in our 20s and, like, what else do you do in your 20s? Thus, we’ve developed our own ideas about what works in dealing with the type of hangover that would slay a walrus, and we’ve also researched the heck out of other ideas from a little place called the internet. It’s new...maybe you’ve heard of it?

Here goes:

Straight-Up McDonald’s

Laugh all you want, if ye must, but we also bet some of you reading this just went like “Oh, totally.” It really only works with the breakfast menu, but the Sausage and Egg McMuffin with that hashbrown puck and Sprite (leave coffee out of the equation until you’re feeling better) is no joke. Please note, this will not be an immediate effect, but you need it. Why? Grease, y’all—that particular McDonald’s grease. Oh sure, the science is still out on this one, but not only is there a whole thing about how drinking (or fighting a hangover) on a full stomach just plain works better for everyone, we’ve got the anecdotal evidence from our own mom, who opines that “It just works. It always has. Did someone tell you otherwise? They’re wrong.” There’s also probably something about carbs, too.

Carrot Juice

Setting aside how carrot juice is one of the most delicious and refreshing drinks around—and how if you drink enough of it your eyesight will become so strong you’ll eventually be able to see through time—carrots just plain help an unsettled stomach. If you don’t have access to CJ (being carrot juice), or the thought of leaving your house right now to get some just sounds too damn hard (which we totally get), here’s a link to a recipe for a little tea-ish drink with mint (which also helps) for you to try out, plus several other ideas for upset tum-tums. If you don’t have carrots at home, we don’t know what to yell you. Honestly, you might die. Just kidding.

Hair of the Dog

It’s so real, friends. Perhaps that last beer in your fridge looks more like a one-way ticket to Puke City, but if you do a couple little boozy sips, it’ll help. It’s hard, it sucks, it works. Still, it’s not a long-term solution, as drinking all night and then recuperating in the morning with more drinking is probably not a great thing to do all the time. Now, us? We’re not 20 anymore, so drinking anytime is a gamble. Same with eating pizza after 6 pm. OH. EM. GEE. We just realized we’re gonna die someday.

Drink Water

Duh. You should always do this anyway. If you don’t know to do this, you deserve your hangover.

B Vitamins! Zinc!

Though we’re basically on the fence about the efficacy of vitamins no matter what our grandma says (she likes them), we found something from a little school called Harvard (which also bolsters our hair of the dog item from above—it’s new...maybe you’ve heard of it?) that says The Journal of Clinical Medicine did a little test on this matter, and that people who had ingested these things before they went out and got wrecked had less severe hangovers.

Don’t Get Out of Bed

Not always an option, but have you thought about laying in bed and smoking cigarettes all day? It helps! (Please note that The Fork is not a doctor and nothing we say constitutes medical advice so much as we’re just a shit-talking entity that likes to make jokes within actual pieces of real information). Anyway, nothing kills a hangover like a lot of sleep. Y’all, hear us—sleep through this.

We Asked the Liquid Muse

We went to mixologist and certified booze genius Natalie Bovis, aka the Liquid Muse, who tells us, “My hangover cures are water (lots of it in small quantities), eggs, pho—basically carbs/protein/hydration. And sleep!” So we were right!

And All the Rest

We asked our friends and family what they recommend, and after we all had a good laugh about how everyone has the McMuffin on their remedy list, folks had a few other ideas. These include things like:

• Ginseng
• Ginger
• Ginger ale
• Ginger beer
• Ginger snaps
• Ginger candy
• Ginger from Gilligan’s Island
• The Professor
• Mary-Anne
• Prickly pear
• Cannabis
• Bong rips
• Rose hips
• Saltine crackers
• Red meat and lots of it
• Corn flakes (brand irrelevant)
• Weeping
• Drinking less next time
• Taking a look at a photo of present-day Shane MacGowan and making better choices

How about y’all? What are your favorite and/or best hangover remedies for a day after a holiday or also any other day? Email us and let us know.

Oh, Tum-Tum.

Also

-Bueno Foods, the company that makes that chile that’s probably in your freezer right now, recently picked up a LEDA grant from the state. What’s LEDA? Why, it’s the Local Economic Development Act, of course, and it helps businesses do cool things—like a chile biz that’s been around for 70+ years take their excellent product nationwide, which will reportedly include a $10 million expansion project. Chileeeeeeeeeeeee, yeah! If you’re reading this and not in New Mexico, you should buy this stuff the second you see it. Just follow the link above to get down with what to look for.

-Dinner service has returned to the Baca Street Railyard, where Cafecito expands its hours on Thursday, Friday and Saturday from here on out. You can score a table by calling 505-310-0089, and you should probably know the photo that came in the announcement email looks amazing. Here, we’ll show you:

-Numerous restauranteurs around Santa Fe have told us they applied for and received PPP loan forgiveness. That’s awesome! Of course, they didn’t know they were telling us this because we’re shrouded in mystery, but know that we heard them and are telling you.

-An upcoming talk and documentary screening aims to address food insecurity among New Mexico college students. It’s a complicated issue, but the bullet points are that young people are terrible with money, loans for college folk ain’t what they used to be, and food banks are feeling the pinch and effects. You can read more in this-here story from SFR’s Riley Gardner.

-Lastly in local stuff this week, local nonprofit Paseo Pottery has teamed up with Ohori’s Coffee and New Mexico Hard Cider for an outdoor spring market (called Luna Spring Market) where you can not only find cool pottery and cups and stuff, you can drink great coffee and cider. Paseo Pottery is notable, as owner Angela Smith Kirkman crowdsources charitable orgs from customers, then donates all profits after costs each year to those orgs. It rotates! It’s sweet as heck! GAH!!!

Well, this is easily the best thing ever.

More Tidbits

-Since people have so many strong Taco Bell feelings, we thought we’d throw you a bone and mention that the chain is reportedly bringing back items called Quesalupas (whatever that means) and Cheesy Fiesta Potatoes (sounds like a party). Anyway, they’ll be back, we hear.

-Once again, Eater-dot-com nails it with a think piece about the restaurant industry in a COVID-19 world. Writer Hillary Dixler Canavan states simply, kindly, firmly and directly that by “refusing to act, the government effectively told diners that workers’ livelihoods and lives were in their hands.” Yowza. It’s well worth a read.

-If you follow this link, you’ll come to what is basically just a list of places from which pies can be ordered. There are a lot of great pies right here in Santa Fe, but variety is the spice of life or some shit.

-Starbuck’s is turning 50, and as part of that has released some cups that are, like, nice or something? We don’t know. We don’t care. Our coffee cup at home says “Computer Beach Party” on it (not kidding), but since we know some people loathe the idea of supporting local coffee shops, we thought you’d like to know.

-Sacre bleu! L’police in Burgundy, France, managed to bust up a wine theft network and recover almost half of the bottles taken during separate break-ins in 2020.

-Michelle Obama is back in the news this week, and it’s not for a Netflix show about puppets that cook. No, instead Obama has launched a program to provide 1 million meals to food-insecure families and children. OK, to be fair, it also coincides with the debut of her Netflix food show (called Waffles+Mochi) and is called Pass the Love w/Waffles+Mochi. Learn more and donate here.

We seriously have the mug.

Finally

In the print edition of SFR, get your barbecue on with Uncle DT’s Smokehouse.

A Totally Scientific Breakdown of The Fork’s Correspondence

Number of Letters Received

33

*People have a lot of St. Patrick’s Day feelings.

Most Helpful Tip of the Week (a barely edited letter from a reader)

“My mom made it better.”

*No mention of what “it” is, but cool!

Actually Helpful Tip

Fork Fave (TM) Albo asks why one would buy silicon reusable zipper bags when people probably have Country Crock containers and the like hanging around.

*Indeed, and with Bueno Foods going out to more states, mayhap we can solve the plastic issue that way.

Not hungover even a little bit at all,

The Fork

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