The people have spoken, we’ve tallied the literally millions upon million of votes, and we have the results of our Semi-Annual Brekkie B Poll!

If you’re just tuning in, we asked you, our dear readers, to hit us up with info on your favorite Santa Fe breakfast burritos. Considering burritos might just be the most genius food in existence, we just figured a little crowdsourcing couldn’t hurt (and we were excited to either get a little validation about the ones we love or find out about new ones). Let’s dig in, shall we?

“The best burrito on the planet is Alicia’s chile relleno burrito. For breakfast, for lunch, whenever. Great value, like everything at Alicia’s. It does have cheese, though. So not quite vegan, I guess.”

This from a Fork reader who goes by Nana, and we’d agree. In 2018, SFR’s then-food writer Mary Frances Cheeseman learned all about Alicia’s Tortilleria, and she, too, basically told us all how great the spot is.

“The BB at Fina is superb. Very large. Great ratio of egg. Smothered, your choice. Great value for the money.”

This from dedicated reader Hervey J. who points out the brief drive just outside town for the Café Fina brekkie b is smrrt with two Rs. Those aren’t Hervey’s words, we’re extrapolating and, believe it or not, we’ve never had this particular brekkie b. Put it on the list!

“My favorite is the brekkie b at Dolina. Dolina’s burrito is a good size (I usually eat half at a time) and they use excellent ingredients—organic eggs, asadero cheese, good quality bacon and hash brown potatoes. The potatoes take a back seat, with emphasis on the other ingredients.”

Lynn C. brings up a good point—Dolina IS excellent (and has been going strong during the pandemic thanks to people like you! We like ‘em, too, naming them one of our 15 Faves in the last SFR Restaurant Guide. Thanks for including the formal “brekkie b” spelling as well, Lynn!

“My very first morning as a Santa Fe resident two years ago, I woke up to a green chile and bacon brekkie b from Baja Tacos. I thought I’d died and woke up in heaven, and have been hooked ever since.”

Normally we’re wary of newcomers in Santa Fe, but reader Susan E. is alllllllright with us, particularly since she brekkie b’s so right. See, Baja Tacos IS an excellent brekkie b—they put hash browns all up in there, which sounds like a small thing but is PERFECT. We’ll fight anyone who says otherwise. Def on our personal Top 3 Brekkie B list. Nice one, Susan!

“Gotta go with with the El Chile Toreado truck.”

Reader Greg B. nails it with this local’s fave that seemingly always makes the right moves. You know how sometimes tourists will ruin a perfectly amazing spot in town? This has never happened to El Chile Toreado, and yet it is always packed. Could be the hot dogs (no joke), could be the brekkie b.

“My husband turned me on to the #1 [brekkie b] with bacon and green at the Lotaburger at Zia and Rodeo. I tried it at the Lotaburger on Saint Mike’s and it was nowhere near as good.”

An interesting conundrum from reader Rachel T. Seems discrepancies are afoot between Lotaburgers. Just, like, know that. Also, the company’s merch store is out of control.

“My favorite breakfast burrito is at the Betterday [coffee shop]. I have issues with gluten and get their burrito in a jar with bacon and red chile. I often like green chile but the red here just works so well with the other ingredients. So good, and I can often make it into two meals. You can bring back the jar for credit or keep to add to your collection.”

Ah, Tracy C.—the classic burrito-in-a-jar. Solid! Sold! Excelsior! Just kidding...it’s a thing we’ve only seen at Betterday which, it turns out, also serves up delicious coffee brews, too, so you can double-score.

“If you are an older person, like me, your appetite may not be what it once was, so, I LOVE the $2.99 Mexican Omelet breakfast burrito from the Burrito Spot on Cordova & Cerrillos. It’s just enough. And no potatoes! I order one without the meat and cheese products, so it’s an egg with pico de gallo mixed in, on a good, fresh flour tortilla, with delish salsa on the side. (And this is not to say I don’t also love the traditional norteño style, smothered, Christmas.)”

We totally feel you, Vickie G. Like, maybe we wanna get a brekkie b with our grandma, but she’s not all about blistering spice—boom! There’s the answer. Plus, if we’re being honest, since the SFR offices moved over onto Pacheco Street, we’ve been rocking the G brekkie b at Burrito Spot kind of a lot.

“Real Burger has my favorite breakfast burrito. I ordered a bacon burrito without potatoes And it was still [huge]! I ordered Christmas on the side. This was not a smothered burrito, I came home and dumped the chile on it. A proper smothered is $7—but look at that burrito. It’s smothered and delicious and $5! I can’t imagine how big it would be with potatoes!”

We’ll include the photo to show you what reader Michaelene K. is laying down. Yup. That’s an awesome looking brekkie b alright.

Most everything else was people all like, “I agree that too many potatoes is a bad thing!” and, like, “Don’t listen to reader John C. who wrote just to call you infantile!” and there was actually not as much handheld-versus-smothered debate as we would have thought. We do want to give a special shoutout to reader Dave P., who answered the criteria we brought up last week with aplomb and long-ness and great points. Find Dave’s responses in bold:

Size:

Does it matter? Is bigger always better? Do people say they don’t mind depending on the burrito when they’re really just being nice and resigning themselves to a respectable but average-sized brekkie b?

If handheld, it needs to not be larger than the burrito skin, because otherwise it’s like a fat guy in a thong. Huge is fine if there’s a mumu-sized tortilla involved. Tiny (i.e. soft-taco sized wrap) is also okay if cheap. My favorite place in MSP had 3/$5 tiny smothered burritos with their $1.25 screwdrivers back in the 90s. Breakfast enchiladas of the gods!

Egg-to-Other-Stuff Ratio:

Now, us? We’re always disappointed when a brekkie b is a $6 potato tube with a tiny bit of egg crammed down in one corner.

Must be at least 1/3 egg. If there is a bite with no egg, it’s not breakfast.

Handheld or Smothered?

We like it both ways.

Either, although handheld is kind of a must at the drive-through, right?

Red or Green or X-Mas?

We like it all ways.

Red or none. If the burrito doesn’t taste good without the chile, it might be worth searching for a different breakfast place.

Value:

Ain’t nobody looking for a $15 burrito.

If it’s $15, it better be bigger than my head, and I have an enormous melon.

Hahahaha! Dave’s our new favorite. Him and that enormous melon of his.

Also

-It’s been featured in SFR before, but consider this a reminder that the Gayrati Kitchen’s still out there, making and delivering Indian food, and you can get you some of that stuff on Thursdays.

-If you’re not on the Collected Works Bookstore and Coffeehouse mailing list, you’re missing out on announcements of all kinds and book recs, including last week’s, which included food-centric titles like Jamie Oliver’s Ultimate Veg (about ultimate veg) and Todd Richardson’s Soul (about soul food). Sign up through this link.

-What do you know about chef Ray Naranjo (Santa Clara, Odawa) and his Pante Project? Not enough? Word, well, we’ll just tell you that the Indian Pueblo Cultural Center (where Naranjo works) offers up the food concept wherein Naranjo cooks INCREDIBLE meals that you pick up, and they’re all Indigenous recipes and styles with a twist. One of SFR’s staffers got a taste of brined turkey, asparagus and honeyed pumpkin a couple months back, and we had a bite and it was soooo good. Learn more here and hopefully be prepared for the next one in March.

-We can’t recall if we’ve recently mentioned Pizzeria Espiritu recently, but just to cover all our bases, allow us to mention it again—because it rules. We like the Greek pie. Let it be known.

-SFR interviewed Santa Fe foodservice worker Jen Stillions some months back when a piece she wrote online about working during the pandemic went locally viral. Turns out Stillions has been contributing more words to the Santa Fe New Mexican, and if you want some insight into what it’s like for the people who serve you food, this is about as good a place as any to look. Find her newest piece here.

One of SFR’s movie writers reviewed the recently released Promising Young Woman, which put this KILLER cover of B. Spears’ “Toxic” into our lives. We think you need it, too. And just for the record, “Toxic” might low key be the greatest pop song of all time. We look forward to “Hey, asshole, I like The Beatles!” emails from whoever.

More Tidbits

-Setting aside how thrilled we are to have discovered there’s a dedicated Pizza Hut blog called—and this is real—Hut Life, we’re here to tell you that national pizza chain has rolled out its new Detroit-Style pizza nationwide. What’s Detroit style, you ask? Well, when you order it, Eminem pops out of the box and calls you a bitch. Just kidding. We don’t know, really. It’s, like, deep dish kind of, but not Chicago style somehow? Anyway, Hut Life tells us that it took Pizza Hut over a year and 50 iterations before it landed on the perfect version. Dang.

-Speaking of nationwide rollouts that no one you know could have possible ever asked for, Coca-Cola (they make Coca-Cola) is kicking out a new bevvie that’s a combo of Coke and coffee. Our honest, knee jerk take? People are going to die. Our more nuanced take? We’ll drink the shit outta that stuff if we can find it.

-Sorry, choco-fans, but Godiva is either closing or selling its US stores—128 of them to be exact. This is a pretty abrupt turn from the company’s foray into the café sphere just a couple years ago, but then, time (and/or COVID-19) makes fools of us all.

-If you’re down with chocos, though, you should check out Jacques Torres, the French dessert champ (and co-host of the excellent Netflix series Nailed It) has built what we believe is called an empire...a choco empire—an empire built on choco. He’s also pretty funny. Locally, though, don’t forget about The Art of Chocolate/Cacao. Seriously. We’ll fight about it.

-You know how you can get jars of the stuff they put on everything bagels (it’s, like, everything)? Welp, turns out it’s now being put into ice cream. We all realize countries where eating food that isn’t a horrible nightmare are laughing at us, right? The entire nation of France just picked up some fresh fennel and garlic and then snorted haughtily and derisively in our general direction.

Time DOES make fools of us all.

Finally

SFR stayed extra artsy again this week, but we hear regular food coverage returns soon!

A Totally Scientific Breakdown of The Fork’s Correspondence

Number of Letters Received 48 *It was like a freaking country burrito jambaroo all up in there!

Most Helpful Tip of the Week (a barely edited letter from a reader) “What does brekkie b even mean?” *You know. You KNOW.

Actually Helpful Tip “I like to put a little garlic salt into my guacamole.” *Hand to Satan we did that already at Maison de l’Fork, but we think everyone should know.

The B stands for Burrito, The Fork