While straight-up DEMOLISHING a brekkie b (that’s breakfast burrito for all y’all n00bs) from The New Santa Fe Baking Co. the other morning, a thought occurred to us—it’s been awhile since we went a-looking for reader feedback. Toss in a tumultuous week wherein we also got really tired of writing paragraphs about how the pandemic has “hit restaurants hard” forcing them to “pivot,” and we landed on a topic last-minute: The Semi-Annual Brekkie B Poll!

In the past, we’ve been known to ask our dear readers what kind of things they prefer. Often, this includes the same bunch of people reaching out to be like “You’re cool, Fork!” so we’re hoping for a wider array of things this time. And we’re otherwise pretty open, but still—we’re hoping you’ll consider the following criteria:

Size

Does it matter? Is bigger always better? Do people say they don’t mind depending on the burrito when they’re really just being nice and resigning themselves to a respectable but average-sized brekkie b?

Egg-to-Other-Stuff Ratio

Now, us? We’re always disappointed when a brekkie b is a $6 potato tube with a tiny bit of egg crammed down in one corner.

Handheld or Smothered?

We like it both ways.

Red or Green or X-Mas?

We like it all ways.

Value

Ain’t nobody looking for a $15 burrito.

Drop us your thoughts and we’ll share them with the class. And, like, try to be nice.

Also

-Blue Corn Brewery (where Head Brewer Paul Mallory absolutely kills it on the daily) announced it will rebrand as Hidden Mountain. There are ranch dressing jokes in there, but mainly we’re in it for the IPA. And because, we hear, there will be barbecue.

-Speaking of barbecue, a friend of ours says Uncle DT’s Smokehouse has the best effing barbecue tofu of all time. This is high praise from this particular person, who hates all things in all places, but we also admit we’ve heard nothing but good stuff about Tio DT.

-If there’s one thing we love more than our buds at Edible New Mexico (and it might literally just be one thing), it’s cocktail recipes from our buds at Edible New MexicoClick this link to be whisked away toward the glory of the Love and Roses, created by Fork Friend (TM) Natalie Bovis, aka The Liquid Muse. It’s purple. Anyway, if you actually make the drink and then prove it on Instagram, Edible New Mexico will donate $5 to Project Feed the Hood or ABQ Mutual Aid

-Apparently if you order mocha, vanilla or hibiscus from the folks at Santa Fe’s Caveman Coffee, they’ll send you a freaking gold chain for free. No joke. See the image below for proof. We are, frankly, obsessed.

Talking about Caveman Coffee got us thinking about Captain Caveman, obviously.

-On Friday, Jan. 22, the Santa Fe Indigenous Center will distribute food to Natives in need at its distro center at 1420 Cerrillos Road. This goes down from 10 am to noon.

-Lastly in local news, word on the street is that Cacao (makers of fine chocolates and—hear us and believe us—roasters of some of the finest coffees around) had to ditch its warehouse space down there in the Midtowny area, and while they’re still in business, they’re technically without a space. We cannot let this go any further than it has, so hit the website to find out how you can support.

More Tidbits

-As if that fake-ass shaman’s complaints about not getting organic food in prison weren’t nauseating enough, it seems a judge decreed he should indeed be getting the organic food. Give us a freaking break! This is soooo infuriating! Screw this guy! And this judge. Boo! Boo-urns!

-Oh, good, Mountain Dew released a new flavor called Major Melon. Research conducted by The Fork’s crack team of scientists tells us that the soda flavor has not served in the military, but that its qualifier is used in relation to the level of melon involved in its production. We’re not saying it’s real fruit juice, just that there’s a shit-ton of whatever Mountain Dew uses to make things taste like melon. We’re scared.

-We’re not sure how we missed this, but famed UK chef Albert Roux (who is credited with brining French cuisine to all of Brittania) passed away earlier this month at 85. L’sad. Thanks for your contributions to the world of food, bud.

-While we had our team working on the Major Melon thing, they also learned that leading nutritionists and, like, diet scientists say the Mediterranean diet is gonna be the best, most effective and most popular diet of 2021. Now, we’d point out that your worth as a human is in no way linked to your shape, size, etc., and that you are more than enough for us however you are...as in, like, just come as you are, y’know? Anyway. If you really truly want to know more, click here (it’s the Mayo Clinic, so you know it’s for real).

-Eater.com (which we think you should all follow half as hard as you follow us) has a pretty interesting piece about Biden’s unclear plan for the restaurant industry. If you’re in Santa Fe reading this, remember that food service makes up a MASSIVE part of our economy, so maybe just check it out.

Using the words “come as you are” made us think about Nirvana which made us think about this.

Finally

You shan’t find food coverage in this week’s issue of SFR—they went super arty. Whatevs.

A Totally Scientific Breakdown of The Fork’s Correspondence

Number of Letters Received 31 *But, like, no good ones.

Most Helpful Tip of the Week (a barely edited letter from a reader) REDACTED. *It was SUUUUPER mean, though.

Actually Helpful Tip YOU get real! *Good advice for us all

Brekkily yours, The Fork