Seriously...Eat a Pear

Since we last checked in, L’Forkette bought us some amazing pears from...we don’t know where, but if we can predict her actions (and we believe we can), they came from Natural Grocers in Santa Fe here. They were/are of the Bartlett variety, and they’re bigger than we’re used to and they’re somehow the best effing pears we’ve ever had in our lives.

See, we’ve been learning about high-versus-low caloric density. Basically, according to the free trial of an app we were using because the pandemic is making us sad, foods with lots of water in them fill us up faster than foods without. So, like, eating a pound of watermelon fills us up in a way that eating a pound of, like, burrito does not. It’s heartbreaking, and even though we love fruit, we’ve been trying to up our fruit intake because...science, we guess.

Anyway, thus the pears. We’re not saying they’re as water-heavy as watermelon (then maybe they’d be called waterears or something), but they’re good for you (better than burritos, anyway) and we like them, so we’ve been eating them, OK? And we feel awesome. We won’t gross you out by getting into the details of our new and improved regularity, but longtime readers probably already know where we’re going with this—that’s right, sad-sacks: IT’S TIME FOR A FULLY FULL-ON 100% ACCURATE LESSON ON PEARS!!!

-Pears are one of the oldest fruits around. Think about it—those shits are in The Odyssey , partridges hang around in their trees and colonizers brought them over here from whatever trash-ass white country they were from.

Oregon and Washington are the pear-ing-est states around , and between the two of them they grow more specialized varieties than we could even begin explaining here. There are more than 900 growers between those two states alone, and among them they grow something like 442,000 tons of pears.

Bartlett pears are apparently the most popular and highest-selling pears around. We assume this is because we’ve been telling people about them for years.

People used to smoke pear leaves before tobacco was a more widely spread thing . We think that sounds kind of like it would be sweet to the taste.

Pear allergies are so rare that the pear is considered hypoallergenic. That’s pretty cool, because we’re allergic to a fruit or two and it sucks because we really want to eat them.

A Chinese farmer grows pears in the shape of the Buddha, and they’re awesome! Seriously, though, here’s a link ...go take a look. Thoughts on these little guys?

We just learned pears are technically a part of the rose family, and we’ll be filing that info in our brains someplace near raccoons are related to pandas. We like this factoid for a couple reasons, not least of which because we’re now seriously considering getting a hookah and slapping some pear, rose and tobacco all up in there.

So how about you, stalwart Fork Fanz? Do you like the noble pear? No wrong answers here.

We know who likes hanging in pear trees.

Also

-Our spies (by which we mean someone who drove by) tell us that the Ohori’s location on Old Santa Fe Trail right by Kaune’s has a “For Lease” sign up in the window. That sucks, too, because we liked that location.

-We also happen to know that Second Street Brewery has ceased restaurant services across its three locations (they’ll still do beer and have weekend nights for patio drinking at the original and Rufina Street locations) and Café Castro is temporarily shuttered til at least Dec. 15 due to a COVID-19 case (the employee in question is reportedly totally OK).

-Oh, dip, remember last week we were like " Sawmill Market in Albuquerque is all about to-go food?” Well, now we hear it’s open for outdoor dining. Be safe, though, if you go.

-Good news for people who love good news— Tumbleroot Brewery and Distillery is doing a thing later this month called Support Santa Fe, wherein local businesses will team up to expand their social media reach, local musicians will play livestream-style across a variety of social media sites from local businesses and everyone will hopefully spend a few local bucks in the process without going to places personally.

-Speaking of buying stuff online, the Santa Fe Brewing Co. has just launched its first-ever online ordering platform! Click here to try it. Basically, you choose what you want, how to get it, what time to get it (including “ASAP”) and you can even buy electronic gift cards to give to people so THEY can try the platform. Honestly, we love a local business that’s pretty big but also is cool and the employees like it and the people like it and everyone just kind of, like, likes it.

-Lastly in local jazz this week, Café Pasqual’s is offering up cookie and chile and spice gifts for the discerning aficionado. It’s not one of the most legendary restaurants of all time because it sucks. Anyway, check it out! Oh, right... here’s a link.

More Tidbits

-According to Bloomberg’s Carolina Gonzalez, the restaurant industry is in free-fall due, of course, to the pandemic. More than 110,000 restaurants have closed across the country, and things aren’t particularly looking up. So if you’re able, buy gift cards for your friends who aren’t, order take out every chance you get—do your best. We’ve been saying this for months, but if you want to see restaurants you love around next year, start spending money with them.

-For some reason, Wendy’s and Uber Eats have decided to court video game enthusiasts with food that...ummm...makes people video game good somehow? We don’t know. We don’t want to even learn what the Never Stop Gaming campaign is all about, but some people might want to know they can apparently win gaming consoles through, umm, that stuff we said.

-Campbell’s Soup , fine makers of watery mushroom garbage water, the authentically dogfood-esque Chunky line of soups and many other things you’re not sure if you like or if there’s just always been a can in your house, announced it will do whatever it can to save snow days for kids. If you don’t live where it snows, listen up—sometimes in places where it snows, school gets canceled, and kids get a glorious day to dick around in the snow and not be in school. With the remote learning of the COVID-19 era, however, that might come to an end. This is bullshit. Oh, teachers need snow days, too, we bet. Visit savethesnowday.com to learn more.

-Lastly, from around the food-o-sphere, Bon Appétit writers tell you the foodie things they’re giving out this year. It’s honestly a pretty satisfying list and is full of ideas for alllll the nerds in your life (including the mail carrier, who totally deserves something extra this year).

Finally

The print edition of SFR is super food-forward this week with a rad story about an upcoming discussion panel featuring food author Gina Rae La Cerva and podcaster Andi Murphy (Navajo), as well as a leadership change at the Santa Fe Farmers’ Market Institute and a  program that brings healthy eating options to Santa Fe youths.

A Totally Scientific Breakdown of The Fork’s Correspondence

Number of Letters Received   47  *Sorry we had to show you the real turkey/plane thing.

Most Helpful Tip of the Week (a barely edited letter from a reader)  “Fry or don’t!”  *Dang!

Actually Helpful Tip  “We’re on our second [air fryer]. We bought the next larger size to air fry/cook a large piece of salmon from Whole Foods. Salmon just  takes minutes to get a crispy crust while still being juicy on the inside.”  *Fork reader John W. knows what to do!

Pearfectly yours,  The Fork