The Fork

Tick Tock…

In The Fork's little corner of the world, our partner is hurriedly getting ready for a special one-off early Thanksgiving kind of thing. It's going to be vegetarian, it's going to be totally tubular. We mention this because we learn more and more each year that these holidays sneak up on people, and we wanted to start with a little Thanksgiving coverage—since it's the biggest food-based holiday, of course. In a future Fork, we're going to give you some idea of what restaurants are open and doing stuff, but for now, here are some thoughts we had surrounding the big day.

We'll start with vegetarians and vegans because yes, we exist and yes, we want to eat a whole bunch for Thanksgiving. You may think it's funny to chide and deride and such, but something as simple as making a great mushroom gravy for mashed potatoes is a big deal. How do you do that? Here's a recipe. We like this one because it's a mere 20 minutes of one's time, and because it's one of the lighter-in-color gravies that we just prefer. We've seen others with beef broth and even bacon drippings, which won't do and, if you've got vegans in your life, take note that some mushroom gravy recipes call for butter.

Fun Fact: In the days of yore, American presidents were duty bound to declare holidays each and every year. While we don't do that today, obvs, Thomas Jefferson reportedly refused to do that because he strongly believed in the separation of church and state, and Thanksgiving's prayer-esque reflections on things for which we're grateful bummed him out. He was a slave owner, though, so do we really care what he thought?

The Fork hates stuffing because it's got a sort of vomit consistency, but we know that a lot of other people (like our dad and like all dads) do, so we have some tips here. While this bustle.com article from 2016 says that traditional stuffing is not and cannot be vegetarian because of chicken broth being an ingredient, we say screw the traditionalists and try this recipe for cornbread stuffing. We like that it's vegan, we like that it involves cornbread, we're clearly digging the recipes from thespruceeats.com.

Fun Fact: Nearly 50 million turkeys get got for Thanksgiving every year, and that's pretty sad because turkeys are smart. If you NEED TO eat one because capitalism has you brainwashed, at least get one from a place like Embudo Valley Organics—it's the home of the happy turkey, apparently.

When it comes to the main dish, a lot of people are gonna tell you that you should try a Field Roast, but as regular readers of The Fork can tell you, that's a bad idea because they're disgusting. Opt instead for something like a stuffed butternut squash. You can put pretty much whatever you want in there though, and we don't have a specific recipe other than we've made it once or twice and it was great, a little bit of cous-cous, garlic, salt/pepper, a dash of olive oil and—get this—some broken up corn flakes makes for a heck of a tasty meal with lots of different textures. If you're the type who just NEEEEEEEDS a recipe, here's one.

Fun Fact: Countless surveys over the years have found a majority of Americans prefer leftovers to the big meal itself, which we all learned in the classic episode of the worst show ever, Friends, wherein Ross, the proto-incel himself, flips out on a colleague for eating his post-Thanksgiving sammie.

Lastly, dessert is kind of hard, especially for vegans, but since The Fork loves our vegan siblings and also pumpkin pie, here's a link to a great recipe from the Minimalist Baker. It's also gluten-free, ya hulkamaniacs.

Fun Fact: Black Friday is apparently like the Super Bowl for plumbers. Gross, right? It's also a bourgeois example of our society's willingness to trample others to get a cheap TV.

Seriously, ask yourself why Ross hated Rachel having male friends and why he acted like his horrible behavior was excusable while hers was not (also, all she was trying to do was better her life and career). Why is this in a food newsletter, you may be asking? We do what we want.

Also

-Jimmy D's totally did close and our frenemies at the Santa Fe New Mexican got the story before we did. We're totally fine with it, just stop looking at us like that.

-Tomorrow, being Nov. 15, finds an open house sorta deal at Los Poblanos Historic Inn & Organic Farm in Albuquerque. Reportedly there will be treats.

-We've mentioned Caveman Coffee before, and this week if you order from 'em online, they'll sweeten the deal with giftcards! Visit the online store between now and Nov. 17 to get the deal. If you spend $25, you get $5, spend $50 and you get $10, spend $75 and get $20.

-Meanwhile, Animal Protection of New Mexico wants you to help ask chains like Dion's and Blake's to provide more plant-based options on their menus. You can learn why vegan/vegetarian options at fast food joints are important right here.

-PSA: The Fork recently dined at Dr. Field Good's where we ordered the skinny burger, replace the meat with an Impossible burg. We mention this because, for the first time ever in our plant-based "meat" eating careers, we had to check multiple times to make sure we weren't secretly being given meat. We weren't, and it was incredible. Try it sometime, especially since those Field Good potatoes with cheese curds and green chile are fantastic.

More Tidbits

-In Napa Valley, where the wine flows freely and where the town of Calistoga bottles water but also has a geyser, an old-style train jam-packed with wine chugga-chuggas throughout the land. The fine folks at delish.com took a ride to tell you what it's really like.

-Maryland-based brewery Duclaw has released a limited edition beer called Unicorn Farts. We just thought you should know because this is pretty much the last nail in society's coffin. That was a good run we had, but it's over now.

-Since it's the holidays and we're all in a pact to eat like garbage monsters for the next few months, cookie company Oreo has released a cookie-house kit … think of it like a gingerbread house, but with Oreo stuff.

-Former McDonald's employees in Michigan have joined forces with none other than the ACLU to file a class action sexual harassment suit. This comes just a few days after former CEO Steve Easterbrook stepped down from his position over a consensual relationship with an employee.

-Dean Foods, the company behind products like Land o' Lakes, has filed for bankruptcy citing Americans' transition to non-dairy products such as oat milk and, The Fork's favorite, macadamia milk. OK, they don't specify macadamia milk, but we still think you should try it because it's delicious.

Finally