Yeah right, Colorado!
Did you hear the news? Seems Colorado governor Jared Polis thought it might be fun to say something incredibly incorrect, and he identified New Mexico's green chile as "inferior" when compared to Colorado's, specifically that hailing from Pueblo. It is to laugh.
But it didn't end there, no. Surely if you're from (or live in) New Mexico, your social media feed transformed into an explosive array of thoughts on the matter. Of course, all of them leaned toward Polis being full of shit, but even beyond that, governor Michelle Lujan Grisham issued a stunning riposte:
Setting aside how we also hate the Oxford comma (don't @us), Lujan Grisham makes a good point, namely, what the hell is Colorado talking about?
But the plot thickened even further, y'all, with Polis continuing his madness:
And then, as if that weren't enough of a slight, he spouted off with this nonsense:
Alright, Polis—this means war, because The Fork is known for one thing (word using real good) and New Mexico is known for one thing (emerr-effing, a-ing-effing, s-ing gd-ing, emmer-effing chile), and, for the last time, the plural of chile is "chile." Like deer. How can we even take your empty and hysterically wrong statements seriously when you don't even know anything about it? Even worse, we've had chile in your godforsaken state, and it sucked—it sucked huge, man!
-The time we were in Denver and ordered huevos rancheros and received an abomination of eggs slathered with watery salsa and some side cup of what may have once been chile but was now mostly tomatoes and water.
-The time we ordered chilaquiles in Springs, only to receive some other soupy mess of ridiculousness.
-The time in Boulder when we asked for our burrito to be smothered with chile and cheese and were told by a waiter "Well, that's not New Mexican-style."
But it doesn't end there, dear Forksters, oh, no:
The Rio Grande Sun's editor Austin Fisher is right, you buncha jabronis—Española chile is the ONLY chile heading to space. Literally. Like, NASA is sending some of that sweet, sweet green to space. We don't know if that means it's better, but it's cool.
And anyway, New Mexico chile is just better. The end. Deal with it. Fin. Over. Kaput. Done. Done-zo. Finem en perpetuatum.
So email us your thoughts on the matter because we love doing that thing where y'all fight with us then we post your responses. Go wild!
Yes. A thousand times, yes.
-New upscale Italian eatery Sasella is open for biz, and from some photos we've seen online from kitchen staff, the dishes look INCREDIBLE. Executive chef Christian Pontiggia is up to good stuff over there, so think about it when you're thinking about upscale Italian eateries.
-We also hear tell of a summer-themed beer dinner at Blue Corn Brewery ($45-$50) wherein chef Josh Ortiz and head brewer Paul Mallory (a beer genius from what we've tasted) have put together a fantastic-looking pairing menu. For example, compressed watermelon salad with Blue Corn's hibiscus wheat beer. Score! Call 438-1800 for more info, or email email@example.com.
-The 12th annual ¡Viva México! Festival comes to El Rancho de las Golondrinas this weekend, and we hear there'll be sooooo much good food and, for the first time ever, beers on the grounds of the living history museum. Now you know.
-Why is celeb chef Bobby Flay's entire career built around him being such an asshole? In the new Food Network show BBQ Brawl: Flay V. Symon, the red scare goes toe-to-toe with some kinda barbecue master. But seriously, we're asking, why are all of his shows about him trying to outdo a great chef at their own game? It's weird.
-Some notable food chain birthdays over the last week have included IHOP turning 61 (you missed the cheap-ass pancake day, sorry—we just learned about it) and bastion of Slurpees 7-Eleven turning some age (or maybe it's just they give away Slurpees on July 11). Either way, you'll live without those things.
-Clicking this link will literally take you to instructions for infusing a dang pineapple with vodka. It's a summer thing; you're welcome.
-Speaking of vodka, we saw an ad for Belvedere vodka that read "Taste the difference of vodka born from terroir," but we read it as "from terror," which made us laugh and laugh. Anyway, we're not linking to it, we just think that's funny. Don't pick it apart.
-Do you know Lakeith Stanfield from Sorry to Bother You and Atlanta? You should—he's a fantastic actor. Anyway, Stanfield has reportedly signed on to portray Kwame Onwauchi, a chef whose 2019 memoir Notes From a Young Black Chef is getting the movie treatment. We're here for this in a very real way.
-Pringles is selling some weeeeeeeird flavors (mac and cheese and bacon) exclusively at Dollar General right now, and we invite you to not only not buy them because they're weird and, like, what are we coming to as a society when it comes to chip flavors? But also because dollar stores are a menace to society. Google it. It's horrifying.
A Totally Scientific Breakdown of The Fork’s Correspondence Number of Letters Received
*Oh, we see how you are.Most Helpful Tip of the Week (not edited for content)
Actually Helpful Tip
Netflix and Chile,