Snack on This!

We can only hope that by the time you're reading this, Santa Fe hasn't once again been struck by massive hailstones. Seriously, for the summertime, we're sure getting a lot of ice falling from the sky lately. Ultimately, it's not that big a deal, but the warmer months in Santa Fe usually feel so fleeting that it's scary to think they might not be as numerous.

Of course, once we hit that first really hot day, we'll probably have thoughts about that, too; namely, that we prefer to be comfortable at all times when it comes to the temperature.

Anyway……

Last week, we suggested a few sweet treats and where to find them, this week we're trying to heed our own advice about using summer to not eat as many full-on meals. To wit, nobody likes feeling like they just ate some big ol' heavy thing when it's hot out (unless you do, in which case SORRRRRRRRRRRY). Here's what we've been thinking:

First off, we're curious if you caught our Summer Guide this year. It has a piece from SFR's regular food columnist Zibby Wilder about lighter bites found around town. You can read that here; it's a good primer.

Second, we were recently dining at Izmi Sushi, and—not that we didn't already kind of have this information someplace in our brain—decided that the cucumber-avocado roll might just be the perfect summer snack. It's light, it's crisp, it's refreshing and it might not be too long before avocados become completely unaffordable thanks to Trump not understanding tariffs, so you should get it while you can. Obviously any place that does sushi will have this item, but you can also make it at home easily. In theory, we'd like to make this at home. And we have in the past, so indulge a couple thoughts on the matter:

When choosing an avocado (obviously the most important factor in this equation), ditch the idea that the color has answers about ripeness, and instead squeeze it. It shouldn't be all soft and squishy and, like, feeling all like something melted up in there, but it also shouldn't be rock hard. You might think this sounds obvious, but people have asked us numerous times how to do this, so here it is. So back to the squeezing … If you don't already know, it might take practice. The Fork is great at picking avocados, and we recommend the Haas variety, which you can find easily at Whole Foods or Sprouts. Avoid the Trader Joe's bag o' avos, which we say because we've tried them numerous times and they're often all pit. Anyway, we've heard numerous tricks for quickening the avocado ripening (like throwing it in a paper bag with an apple), but it really just comes down to practice.

The colors of cucumbers, on the other hand, do tell a tale. Yes, you want firmness, but you also want it to have a nice, deep shade of green. You can peel away blemishes, but we kinda like a little skin on ours. Your choice.

This next piece of information will either bore or astound you depending on whether you were already aware, but there is indeed special medium-grain rice the works best for sushi. It's more glutinous—which does NOT mean it has gluten, it just means it's stickier than you might expect. Don't @ us. Rice cookers are plentiful and affordable as well, though we've always been partial to the simple 1 cup rice, 2 cups water,
20-ish minutes on the stovetop plan. Shake a little salt in there and call it a day. Here's a 25-pound bag of the stuff.

As for the nori (the seaweed wrapping), keep these important things in mind:

-Don't skimp, if possible. There's good stuff and bad and you want the good, obvs.

-Moisten it a little. Not a lot. Maybe use a brush to ever-so-lightly add a little water. Seaweed is quite brittle but, if you moisten it, it'll become more pliable. Adding the rice helps, too.

-Don't put just-finished rice on that nori, sucka. Furreal, though, think about when you've had sushi in real-life sushi joints … is it ever hot? No. We have a bud who lived in Japan for over a decade literally just training to be a sushi chef, and they recommend this stuff right here.

-Remember to try and have fun, because you're definitely not going to be as good as someone who trained at this, and how you respond to failing at and/or crafting ugly sushi says a lot about your character.

Finally in this section, we'd urge everyone to be careful about doing sushi with raw fish. Don't just grab some store-bought something and think it's going to be OK. Do research. In fact, just stick with veggie stuff (shredded carrots sounds pretty good for that cucavacado roll we've just been talking about) until you think you won't make yourself sick. Word? Word.

If you've been putting off watching the 2011 documentary "Jiro Dreams of Sushi," you should just get it together and watch it. If you've never heard of it, you should get it together and watch it. Just watch it, OK?

Also

-Our bad on that Santa Fe Bite thing we said last week. We still believe they'll open in the Outlet Mall, but Sweet Santa Fe isn't going anywhere. Apologies to any we may have confused. No new news on the burger front just yet, but we're working on it.

-You heard about Waitr? It's like Fetch. Or Postmates. Or Uber Eats. Or Dashing Delivery. In other words, it's an app that lets you get food delivered, and it's now available in Santa Fe. Do we need that many services? No, probably, but we are but pawns unto the capitalist machine which grabs us by the shoulders, looks deep into our eyes and tells us, "You don't have to go anywhere to get food."

-On the restaurant front, Renewal Life Bar has switched locations, and it's going to solve all your problems. OK, we don't know if that's true, but if you pop by 810 Calle Mejia, Ste. 107, you can definitely get in on healthy smoothies and sammies and fruit bowls and smoothie bowls and even a healthier version of the banana split. Find out more right here.

-Now that we're in June, the Santa Fe Farmers Market opens at 7 am. Let it be known across the land. And speaking of the farmers market, do you know about the Mercado del Sur? You should—starting in July, it's a Wednesday market on the Southside that is apparently much more casual than the weekend madness in the Railyard. Here's a place to find out more.

More Tidbits

-We just love this piece from The Everywhereist that points out how Monica from Friends (the show that should make white folks feel bad to be white) had a real shitty ongoing storyline that boiled down to how being fat is something to laugh at. First of all, it's not, and as Geraldine DeRuiter (the Everywhereist herself) points out, this is problematic on so many levels. And as The Fork points out, Ross was, like, the proto-asshole of modern toxic masculinity. Ugh! Ugggggh! Yo, Friends is not good. Sorry, it's not.

-Longtime readers no doubt know that The Fork visits eater.com often to check out the site's killer investigative and thinkin' food journalism, and we found this recent piece about the troublesome idea of food authenticity in yet another movie (specifically the new Netflix flick Always Be My Maybe) to be an interesting read. You might, too, especially if you live in a town like Santa Fe where the word "authentic" gets thrown around like so many goatheads on the wind.

-Longtime readers might also know that we liked How Anthony Bourdain's subtextual message to us all was to not fear one another, so we're happy to report that chefs from pretty much everywhere have decided that June 25 will now be Bourdain Day. This mostly means a social media hashtag (#BourdainDay) through which friends, fans and anyone else can share their thoughts on the tragically departed chef and traveler. RIP.

-You know that pink Himalayan salt? How it's supposed to magically be better for us than the regular old salt that has literally won wars? Should we do a history lesson on salt? Anyway, the point is this: It's bunk. Thanks, Vice! Don't fret, though, because it's too expensive anyway.

-Speaking of expensive things that rich people buy because the system is broken and may God (or whomever) have mercy on us all, Business Insider wanted to find out why manuka honey is over is over 100 times more expensive than regular old honey. So here's this.

-Finally this week, learn once and for all why (foodborne illness, for one) and how (scrub them shits!) you're supposed to wash veggies and fruits and such. It's important, this might help you.

This is what millionaire honey gets you. Bingo Bronson comes to life, sure, but you still don't even know who you are anymore.

Finally

In the print edition of SFR, meatless meat aficionado Zibby Wilder wondered where she could find great meatless meat and why that’s important. She got answers.
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A Totally Scientific Breakdown of The Fork’s Correspondence 

Number of Letters Received
51
*Y’all LOVE cool treats, apparently. 

Most Helpful Tip of the Week (not edited for content)
“No. No, no, no, no no. No. Not IN THERE, Fork. NEXT TO THERE. Get it?!”
*In response to our Santa Fe Bite gaffe; and jeeze, yes, we get it!

Actually Helpful Tip
Not a tip, but a nice and thoughtful message from Fork-a-Maniac Joanne who wanted us to feel better after a spider tried to kill us last week. Thanks, Joanne!
*But we still wanna know more!
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Su-shi you later,
The Fork