Candy and Eggs—Together At Last!
Easter is pretty much here, Fork Frenz (it's actually this Sunday April 21), and because you know we love a good holiday (along with bullet point facts about said holiday), we figured we could talk about that a little. Why? Because our mom still gives us a basket, because we think decorated eggs are cool and because some weeks we have a lot of other stuff going on but worry that we'll make you cry if we don't get down to biz-nas and put together a newsletter. So anyway, here's some stuff about Easter that you may or may not know (or care about):
- The egg connection is apparently about the symbology connected to those oval, shelly bastards. Since time immemorial, eggs have been seen as a symbol of fertility. Thus, with Easter’s springtime-ness, the eggs are all about how the ground has once again grown fertile and it’s time to trick your kids by hiding eggs.
- In America, where we hate ourselves, we spend nearly $2 billion on Easter candy and, of that, roughly 70% is choco-based. Good news for Russell Stover and whatever company makes those terrifying hollow choco-bunnies that nobody actually likes. Anyway, this is, by some estimates, about $130 per person in the US.
- The celebration is technically about the resurrection of everyone’s best pal Jesus Christ, but where does the Easter Bunny come in? Well, accounts vary, but from the best that people can tell, the bunny hails from pre-Christian 13th-century Germany where the goddess Eostra was celebrated in the spring. And what animal was she associated with? You guessed it—the capybara. Naw, jay kay. The rabbit. Anyway, the first story published that had what we refer to as an Easter Bunny comes from 1680 and was about a rabbit who hides stuff from children like a freaking maniac.
- People, at one point, tired of dying the same old eggs year after year, starting dying living chicks. This is now illegal most places (thankfully), and we’d like to remind you that unless you’re planning on raising chickens and being cool about it, a chick is never a good idea for a pet—dyed or not (which it shouldn’t be).
- Easter comes right after Lent, which for those who don’t know is that thing where people give something up for 40 days. Presumably those people are then ready for the hollow choco-bunnies because they didn’t eat cheese during that time or, if they’re 1990s-era Josh Hartnett from 40 Days, 40 Nights, they gave up playing with themselves.
- Something like 16 million jellybeans will be eaten in America alone come Easter. Jeeze.
- The only holiday to sell more candy is—you guessed it, Arbor Day. Jay kay, it’s Halloween. Duh.
So what do you all do for Easter? At The Fork's house, we'll probably just eat whatever candy our mom got us and carry on like any other day. Have fun, though, celebrators!
Get ready to hate yourself for having watched this…
-Don't forget about Kitchen Angels' Angels Dine Out event on Thursday April 25. Just by eating places (here's a list), you can help people in need. Then you can feel like a good person even though you yell at The Fork who is just trying to help you.
-While perusing snax at Trader Joe's the other day, we discovered they now carry a new variety of the Organic Corn Dippers (like Fritos only awesome)—and it's elote-flavored. Gasp! This reddit convo has all the info you'll need plus a whole bunch you probably don't.
-You may have read in the print edition of SFR that kombucha hotspot Honeymoon Brewery invites patrons to bring and spin their own vinyl on Tuesday afternoons. Welp, it turns out that Santa Fe Brewing Co.'s Brakeroom (that's the downtown tasting room that has delicious little food truck snax and the SFBC beer you've come to know and lust for) is in on that game, too, on Wednesdays. More musical than food-related, we know, but still…
-Like you, we're concerned at the thought that the US could potentially run out of avocados in less than a month if the prez were to shut down the America/Mexico border. We searched through a lot of articles on the matter, but we'll direct you to this one, because the words "Holy Guacamole" are in the headline.
–Game of Thrones is back for a final season, and if you're not too busy reading the crazed ramblings of SFR's culture editor who, even after several seasons, doesn't really remember who anyone is or what they're doing or why, Food & Wine has penned an homage to Hot Pie, the show's most under-appreciated gourmand. L'sigh.
-Normally we'd whine about the how new Star Wars is really only OK and how Coca-Cola is just another corporate bigwig throwing its weight around, but even we have to admit this mashup of droid and Coke bottle is pretty cool. If links are baffling to you or you just thought to yourself "I'm not clicking that effing link!" … we'll just tell you that Coke now has little bottles that look like little droids for a little amount of time.
-Popsugar, meanwhile, is out to rank the most popular jellybeans on the market today. Oh, fun! The Fork would love to weigh in: All jellybeans are terrible. They're just bean-shaped candy corn, which also sucks.
-Not food-related, but it's pretty intense that Notre Dame burned, huh? Luckily, we hear, the art and artifacts found therein were saved. Further, we get that there's a lot of ugly history involved with the place (and many others; I mean, we are from the US, so … we get ugly history). Still, it's good that art was saved is our point. Also, one time, in Paris, The Fork had the kind of crepes that we still wake up in a cold sweat screaming about. Dammit, those were good crepes. Anyway, as always, The Onion nailed it.
-We know we tell you this practically every week, but the think pieces over on eater.com are often stellar as all get-out. This time 'round, writer Cathy Erway explores the concept of cultural appropriation as it pertains to the Chinese restaurant in America. Def worth a read.
-If it's Easter recipes you're after, HuffPost Food has compiled their 12 favorites, a concept we find funny since HuffPost is probably about a bazillion people plus contributors. Do they send out mass emails to everyone? Is there a voting system? What's the deal? Anyway, some look pretty good but, more importantly, The Fork is just one person, so our seal of approval actually means something. Or does it? And are we?
-Lastly, in news that'll make you go "Ummmm. OK…", 7-Eleven is getting into the fine kombucha, craft beer and upscale taco market. Weird, right? Right, especially since, let's face it, the Slurpee is pretty dang great.
Just three and a half minutes of Slurpee commercials. We particularly like the one with the thin allusion to the Gene Wilder-led Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)—a film about child murder, enslavement, terrifying snake tunnels navigated by boat and the sheer cruelty of big-business CEOs who prefer top hats to being normal effing human people.
¡4/20 & EARTH DAY ALERT!
Yeah, yeah, yeah—Earth Day (dedicated in 1970) goes down on Monday April 22, and we all love living on the Earth, and nobody's under any impression that climate change (real) or corporate pollution are good things (they're not), but let's get down to the more important holiday (at least in a food missive): 4/20. For those of you who know, sweet, right? For those of you who don't, it's all about that sweet, sweet weed come April 20, and you can probably learn more from your nephew or your niece or whatever other young person might be a part of your life. Or also, you know what? That estranged relative on whom you placed your teetotaling, puritanical restrictions. You know the one we mean.
Now, The Fork can't partake anymore (we get debilitating anxiety and panic attacks), but would like to recommend the following restaurants and locations for your munchies pleasure:
Now, none of these places are aware we've put them in here, so don't get all in their faces about how they're weed-related because we think they have great snax. They're not, it's literally just about the snax. Those who know what we're laying down probably just chuckled and went, "Totally. Woah, do you ever think about the cosmos?" Those who don't can still go to these places anyway. Wherever you land in regards to that, you'll thank us.
In the print edition of SFR, grand duchy of food Zibby Wilder tracks down the operators of her favorite local food-related Instagram accounts. It's pretty neat!
A Totally Scientific Breakdown of The Fork's Correspondence
Number of Letters Received
*And most calling our understanding of days into question … sad.
Most Helpful Tip of the Week
“We like ham, thanks.”
*Good for you!
Actually Helpful Tip
"Have you been to Paper Dosa?"
*Y'know, we have, but it's been awhile. Thanks for the reminder! And we think everyone else should go, too!
Your Easter friend,