Read up, cheeseballs!

We're sick of talking about Chipotle, so we're ready to dive into the exciting and absurdly numerous world of national food days. What is that, you ask? Well, it's that thing where a day is designated a national day, and then that day becomes a day that's about some thing. Y'know, like bank holidays, only not as real? And there are many. Like, so so many. Let's just take this week, for example:

Thursday April 11
National Fondue Cheese Day
That’s right, that thing where you cram small cubes of food into molten cheese has its own day, and it’s today! Let’s celebrate by doing other things that were super-cool in the 1980s, like getting fanny packs and stone-washed jeans and stuff. If you’re looking to really celebrate for real, Rio Chama Steakhouse has fondue on their brunch menu, and it’ll set you back $20.

Friday April 12
National Licorice Day and National Grilled Cheese Sandwich Day

Licorice is the effing worst, so we're glossing over that one to focus on the noble grilled cheese. There are plenty of places around to grab one of these but, and hear us out, the one at Sonic is awesome. Texas toast? You bet! And here's a little tip, too: most places will make you one, even if it's not on the menu. Don't abuse that information, though.

Saturday April 13
National Peach Cobbler Day
The Fork is deathly allergic to peaches (and nectarines), which is easily one of the most significant bummers of our lifetime, since we only developed the allergy in the last few years, and we LOVE those bad boys. Our point is, we don’t know where to go to get them. You’re on your own or, if you like, you can email us to spread the good word on where you get yours (or if you just make it).

Sunday April 14
National Pecan Day

Yeeeeeah! We love a pecan! Also, we say it like "pee-con," for that is right … get outta here with that "pee-can" nonsense, people from Georgia or wherever! Anyway, go nuts, as it were, with the German choco cake from Dolina. It's got a pecan and coconut icing that looks and sounds and probably smells amazing. Or, y'know, just buy some pecans and eat them.

Monday April 15
National Glazed Ham Day

This is probably because Easter comes up around this time of year (on April 21 for 2019), but this day's all about that glazed ham, we guess. We miss ham, but, like weed, if we were somehow in a position wherein we HAD TO find out where to get it, we'd probably blow it. Maybe try Kaune's?

Tuesday April 16
National Eggs Benedict Day and National Baked Ham Day and National Day of the Mushroom
As far as we’re concerned, there are only two places to get them eggs in Santa  Fe: Chocolate Maven and the New York Deli. We’re not sure why ham gets two days in a row, but whatever. We do, however, LOVE mushrooms. They’re not only delicious, they’re really neat as far as things go. Try the Plaza Café‘s Portobello mushroom sammie at the downtown location. It’s incredible.

Wednesday April 17
National Cheeseball Day and World Malbec Day

We actually think a nice malbec and some cheeseballs sounds like a hell of an afternoon. Anyway, get cheeseballs at Walgreen's or something, get Malbecs at La Casa Sena Wine Shop or Susan's Fine Wine and Spirits or wherever it is you go to get wine.

Happy holidays, Forkers!

Ohhhh. Cheeseballs. We were picturing those Cheeto balls. Sawwy.

OK, we lied—we have one more thought about Chipotle, and then we're done, promise:

Look, eat at Chipotle if you want, we honestly don't care what any of you do, but note that we never once said you shouldn't go there. We said that for us, personally, The Fork, we're more interested in local places. So you can take all your fun comments that suggest to us you only read the headline, scoffed, and then sat furiously at your keyboard with a "We'll see about that!" attitude, and stuff 'em in a sack!

Everyone who told us we are funny, though, we're down with you.

Smooches!

Also

-We hear this new place Dumpling Tea & Dim Sum (66 E San Francisco St., 646-945-5000) is AMAZING, so we sent SFR food writer Zibby Wilder that way. So she'll probably report back soon with her findings.

-New Mexico genius Nick Mendoza has kicked off OneForNeptune, a healthy and apparently great-tasting fish jerky that comes in flavors like Norse Smoke (word), Honey Lemon Ginger (double word) and Fiery Cajun (which is how we'd describe our aunt Alzophine). Find more info right here, and suck on that, jerky inventors from states that aren't land-locked—YA BURNT!

-Ummm…there's a new crepe place? Y'all really need to tell us this stuff, and we don't care if the fundamental nature of this newsletter implies the exact opposite! For real, though, we're pretty pumped to try out Crepas-oh!, even if we don't love the name.

-Ever heard of wildcrafting? The folks at Milagro Herbs have. Basically, it's the foraging of plants to eat or make medicine or ingest or whatever. It's apparently much deeper than we're saying here, so word.

More Tidbits

-CNN tells us that Zurich, Switzerland, may just become the new international food mecca in 2019. Right on. We don't doubt it because their mountain game is so for real, and given that the Swiss haven't done much since their knives and cheese, we figure they're due.

-Gearing up for Easter? Have kids? Want to dye eggs but are sick of Paas stranglehold monopoly on the world of such dyes? Fret not, dear reader, for there's a better way; a more natural way—there's an effing way to do it with the effing stuff you already effing have in your effing house (probably or maybe). That way is explained here.

-Trump, who you may know as the melted candle wax stump of a man we're calling a president for some terrible reason, has now waged war on school lunches, a topic already embattled with both financial and nutritional peril. It seems the guy wants to loosen already pretty-loose guidelines. Of course, a number of attorneys general aren't too pleased about that and, as NPR reports, they're suing. Good.

-Welp, eater.com is at it again, this time with one of the coolest sub-sites we've ever seen. Know what you should do? Open another window real quick, for this page, but put this one right next to it. OK, did you do it? OK. Cool. So, check out Eater Travel, right? Looks good! We've explored a bit, so we feel good about telling you to just go wild and start clicking on those little maps. You'll find the best food in the hottest cities. We love it, and would especially love it if we were to plan a food trip. We don't see Santa Fe on there yet, but we do know they've produced content here, so maybe it'll come soon.

-Since we LOVE The Great British Baking Show, we're always scouring the tubes for info on that, and it turns out that a whole mess of contestants from the fifth season reunited for a wedding and made a whole mess of cakes. Glorious.

-Speaking of cakes, CAKE SHOWS ARE BACK (who cares?) with that dude Duff Goldman's new vehicle Duff Takes the Cake—which, like, why do they need a cake pun? Setting aside how annoyed we are at that title, you may remember Goldman from that other show about cakes. We think it was called Cake, Michigan or something. Haha! That's actually a pretty good title. You're welcome, America. Anyway, cake shows are back, as we said.

-Lastly, have you ever heard of the Food Freshness Card? No? Weird, because everyone else already knows about it. Just kidding, no one does, but if you read this thing riiiiiiigggghhhhht HERE, you'll learn how to keep that food fresh(er) in your li'l old fridge.

Finally

In the print edition of SFR, food svengollie Zibby Wilder tries to recommit to Indian food at Raaga-Go, and the results may surprise you. Jay kay, it’s a food review, you know the score. Or do you? Who knows!
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A Totally Scientific Breakdown of The Fork’s Correspondence 

Number of Letters Received
41
*And only some scary, but many said we made you laugh, which made our day!

Most Helpful Tip of the Week 
“You’re an asshole.”
*We’ve heard that one already.

Actually Helpful Tip
“The one about the dumpling place!
*It’s on our list!
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Hamboningly yours,
The Fork