As a kid, The Fork's parents were big believers in leaving these books around called News of the Weird. They were just compendiums of news stories about weird shit and dumb criminals and funny names and stuff. We loved them and almost couldn't believe that our story about the guy who liked to sleep with raccoons wasn't well-received on that fateful first day of fifth grade (which was still not as embarrassing as The Fork's first day of high school, but we can talk about that another day).
We got to thinking that other people surely enjoy weird news, too, and since this is a food newsletter, let's get into some food-related weirdness!
Whatever you say, thrillist.com
We'll start with New Mexico where, according to thrillist.com, our weirdest food is carne adovada. Ummmm, OK, nerds, OK. Except get this—it's not weird at all! As we know here, the slow-roasted pork and red chile marriage is a glorious one, so we feel like they're reaching, especially when Nebraska has a thing called the Hot Beef Sundae. Get outta here, thrillist. Get outta here.
Tries a similar tack, though theirs seems more like a couple stolen Instagram pics and a crowd-sourcy comment section. We're seeing a pattern emerge—one that makes us question whether there's ever actually any weird news ABOUT food rather than weird foods that exist.
Across the pond
The UK version of HuffPo has info about a burger made from a frog with a black bun. Don't eat frogs, you guys—they're friends with toad and man alike.
What're meat candles, you ask? Get a load of this from the fine alt.weekly paper Westword in Denver.
We've been turned onto the Instagram account @dogs_infood from the fine folks at the Huffington Post, and even though we cannot stand "This is the Thing You Need Right Now" or "This Thing is Everything" headlines, we STRONGLY urge you to visit this brilliant piece of photoshop awesomeness. The premise is that dogs that kind of look like food get photoshopped into said foods and look cute.
A newfound interest in Massachusetts…
Oh, sorry, did you not know about the Burnt Food Museum? Are you even really living? Furreal, though, there's a museum about burnt food in Massachusetts—hellllllo, next vacation!
We're pretty sure you know what we'll say next—what're your weird food stories? Even something from a restaurant experience? We're going to be looking for more entries over the next however-long. Oh, and if you've been to the Burnt Food Museum, let us know what that was like!
-We know it's last-minute, but John Sherdon—one of Santa Fe's most favorite DJs—is providing the jams for a wine tasting this evening at Rio Chama. The event starts at 5 pm, so call 955-0765 to try and get in under the wire.
-We fielded a number of emails from die hard (we assume) Fork fans who took issue with the results in the Food & Drink category of this year's Best of Santa Fe. We get it—people have their favorites that don't win, and then they get sad, but do note that the SFR staff chooses zero winners. It's a nomination and voting process, so here's some advice: Remind those businesses and restaurants you love that nomination and voting are happening (we'll remind you when we start getting into the next one), and it can go a long way to help. But as we told a certain stalwart reader, you can vent to us any time.
-We know we've mentioned this before, but we've now tried to hit up Biadora Bakery on Second Street like, five times, and we sincerely cannot tell if they're still doing stuff in there. Any regulars or fans have info? Help The Fork!
-You know that hotel out in Lamy where Billy the Kid apparently liked to drink and where countless investors and restauranteurs have tried their luck and failed, and every time someone new comes in they're all like, "We have the secret formula to success!" but then everyone is like "I'm not driving out there for food and drink!"? Welp, turns out that place is opening yet again, and we hope for the best for its new owners.
-Meanwhile, since everyone loves hearing how much they suck at stuff, learn from popsugar.com about all the ways you’re cooking wrong.
-Elsewhere, we relearn something we already should have known: namely, that it’s never that wise to visit Chipotle. Especially if you live in New Mexico. Like, the real-deal stuff is available, y’know? Like, it’s here, right? It’s here and it’s everywhere.
-If you’re a Panera fan (like The Fork’s partner, which bums us out because we don’t care about Panera), buckle your seat belts for the following news: Panera is beta testing a double bread bowl. Yup. Seems that a single bread bowl is for losers and this is your one-way ticket to more than enough bread and/or one of those classic romantic Panera rendezvous we always hear so much about.
-Over at eater.com, gain insight into the minds of people who tip poorly. The Fork could tell you all about bad tippers, too, mostly in how they’re history’s greatest villains and they should be ashamed of themselves. They’re the kind of people who when a waiter says, “Hi!” they say, “ICED TEA!” all curt and shitty-like. Boooooo. Boooooo to bad tippers!
-And while you’re chewing on that, read up on how the concept of tipping is actually rooted in age-old American racism.
-Lastly, click this little clicky-guy right here for a chart detailing the best ways to make tomato sandwiches. Helpful, right? As always, things are better with cheese. But anyway—print it out, maybe, and hang it up on your fridge. Then, for the next several months, promise yourself you’re gonna try one some night but then never actually do that.
A Totally Scientific Breakdown of The Fork’s Correspondence
Number of Letters Receieved
Most Helpful Tip of the Week (not edited for content)
“I don’t want to get into a thing here, but are you f*$@&ing stupid?”
*nope, we’re not.
Actually Helpful Tip
“One of the best places to get a burger that most people don’t know about is Baja Tacos.”
*he’s right, probably.
This week in the regular edition of SFR find info on a glorious pop-up bakery that draws inspiration from French decadence, a gluten-free lifestyle and maybe even beautiful dresses. Just pop by sfreporter.com/food for more info.
PS: We know there was no video this week—deal with it.