Setting aside the angry letters we get every year, our favorite issue just came out—Best of Santa Fe! In case you're not familiar with how it works (which would be crazy, right?), the last few months have found Santa Feans nominating and then voting for their favorite things around town. It's massive, it's popular, it ends with a big fat party in the Santa Fe Railyard (more on that later). Not even that crazy flooding from earlier in the week could restrain our enthusiasm at this point. WE'RE PUMPED, DAMMIT!

One of our favorite categories is Food and Drink. Why? Well, because we obviously like eating and because it gives us a glimpse into what everyone thinks are the best things to eat around here. And we have thoughts, too. Obviously you should pick up the issue (or read online right here), but let's break down some of the winners and why The Fork thinks they took home the prize this year.

Best Artisan Chocolate
Kakawa Chocolate House

It's those elixirs, you guys. They're so warm and sweet and really feel satisfying going down your throat-hole. Did you know Kakawa has a whole case of chocolatey goods outside of the drinks, though? Yes. They do.

Best Brekkie B
El Parasol

Right about now you probably just went, "I thought they were more of a taco place, The Fork!" And you're right, but hear us and believe us—this place knows what to do when it comes to burritos, too. We were once partial to the carne adovada (so good), but the brekkie B ain't half-bad, neither. Pro tip: Call them up about 15 minutes in advance and you can pick up at the drive-thru. But don't just roll up to the drive-thru expecting to order. That isn't how it works!

Best Burger
Santa Fe Bite

It'll always be Bobcat Bite to us, and it'll always be the one place we stare wistfully toward the horizon over. If you recall (which you should, because we talk about it, like, ALL THE TIME), The Fork is vegetarian, but if we ever go back to meat, it'll be because of this burger. Get it with chile and cheese and the home fries. Yeah, yeah—some diatribe about regular fries. Shut up and get the home fries.

Best Coffee
Ohori's Coffee

Duh. Just … just duh, OK?! The Fork loves Ohori's since way back.

Best Fine Dining
Geronimo

We would never lie to you, so we can really only say we've been there once—but it's haunted our dreams ever since. Why do people like it? Because it's effing amazing, you guys. Tragedy struck a couple years back when executive chef Eric DiStefano died (RIP, sir), but the current big boss Sllin Cruz knows what to do by all accounts.

Best Food Truck
Bang Bite

Ballin' on a budget but still want a crazy-awesome burger? This is the place. Bang Bite is that glorious missing link between brick and mortar and mobile eatery that proves it's not about a permanent space but about a permanent commitment to making awesome food. Plus, food trucks are hip. Is saying "hip" still a thing? Is it? You guys? Is it?

Best Chef
Ahmed Obo, Jambo Café 

We could also easily file this one under "duh," since Obo's basically blown all y'all's minds since always. With his Afro-Carribean blend of awesomeness, it's no wonder he won. Also, try the fries (both kinds) and also, try the key lime pie and also, try the jerk chicken. Did you do it? Hurry up and do it!

And there are plenty more categories where that came from, it's just that we aren't going to sit here all day breaking them down like we already did in print. Would you choose things differently? How so? Like, what're your favorites that didn't make the cut? We'd hate to have bragged about how engaged you all are last week only to have crickets now………

Since everyone clicked the hell outta that Martha Stewart link last week, here's another one—this time a cake that's shaped like a freaking heart. This one goes out to a friend of The Fork whom, when we were younger, would straight toke down and watch Martha with us. If you happen to make this cake, bring some by the office or take some snaps and send them! Heck, just snap anything you're eating and send them. Wouldn't it be fun to sometimes have a gallery of Fork readers' foodstuffs? WOULDN'T IT?!

Also…

-We heard tell that the Natural Grocers soon to open in the old Whole Foods/Wild Oats location at St. Francis and Cordova will indeed herald the end of the Southside location. Bummer. Still, Southsiders, we see you and have definitely noticed a shift south in recent years which is only bound to keep going as time goes by, not that that soothes the pain of losing a conveniently located food store.

-Not specifically food-related, but Meow Wolf recently welcomed its 1 millionth customer(s) to its sprawling midtown installation and, we hear, some of the prizes included bar bucks to MW's Float bar and truck bucks for Trinity Kitchen, the collective's own food truck that does that whole Cajun thing. That's a lot of visitors.

-The annual Green Chile Cheeseburger Smackdown (it's literally what it sounds like) announced this year's contenders with burgs from the likes of Blue Corn Brewery, El Farol, Desert Dogs Taproom, Second Street Brewery, Street Food Institute and sooooooooo many more. Also announced is a change in venue from the Farmers' Market Pavilion to The Bridge at Santa Fe Brewing Co. just outside town. Mark your calendars for Sept. 8 and get more info at ediblesmackdown.com. We've been to this thing before—and daaaaaayamn, it's good and fun, but tickets sell out faster than you can say "Let's wait and get them next week."

-Let us also not forget the Margarita Trail—Santa Fe's own ongoing pub crawl-esque event where the game is drinking a bunch of margaritas and the prize is having quaffed a bunch of margaritas. But also, there's a passport app (if you click the link above you can find out more), and those who do the whole trail get actual, literal prizes. Like what? Well, like T-shirts and books and even inclusion in the Margarita Society—a clandestine organization that meets in secrecy twice a year to influence politics and subtly impact American life as we know it. OK, we actually don't know what they do—anyone out there know?

-And finally, in local news, don't space our big old Best of Santa Fe party from 5-9 pm Friday July 27 in the Railyard. There will be all kinds of food and trucks and food trucks and trucks and food. Also music and a dunk tank and partying and you can grill the SFR staffers about who The Fork really is (spoiler: they won't tell you shit).

More Tidbits

-Over at bonappetit.com (which is NOT pronounced “Bone Ape Tit,” a fact we learned while embarrassing ourselves greatly during a recent dinner with diplomats, kings and the upper crust), find a handy list of 34 moments in cooking wherein you just know you effing nailed it. We especially liked the photos because they made us way hungry.

-Meanwhile, the New York Times pointed out recently that co-working biz WeWork will no longer offer up meat to employees during company mealtimes, nor will it reimburse carnivorous staff who still want to burg or steak or chicken or pork it up. We don’t know if it’s a company’s place to decide what its workers can and can’t eat (we actually straight up KNOW it’s not their place), but we’d also point out that not eating meat can just makes you feel better. Still, live your life—we’re not your mom. Also note that we laughed for five solid minutes at the phrase “pork it up.”

-Turns out some mom ‘n’ pop business called Disney has a food blog in addition to 40 percent market share in ALL MOVIES. Do we want Disney making Alien movies? DO WE? No! Stick to the alien cupcakes seen here, Disney. And maybe cool it with the Marvel movies a little.

-Also in “turns out” news, we found this pinterest board that has 51 freaking Les Misérables-inspired recipes. And you are welcome.

-Bad news for Ritz and Goldfish crackers, as it turns out some of those emmer-effers have been recalled over fears of salmonella. “That’s fine with us,” say America’s kids who wish their parents would pack something less like a buttery cardboard flake in their lunches.

-It’s not looking so hot for McDonald’s (gross), either, as HuffPo reports the fast food chain has found itself the victim of a fecal parasite (gross) in salads throughout states like Illinois, Iowa, Kentucky (gross), Minnesota, Missouri, Nebraska and others. There have been 163 confirmed cases (gross) have reportedly been found and, at the risk of editorializing, let us once more just say this: gross.

-Remember cat wine? The wine for cats? Like, it’s wine, but you serve it to your cats? You know your cats, right? They’re the miniature beasts who live in your home and you serve them all the time and they couldn’t care less about whether you live or die? Yeah, you do. Welp, there’s a dog wine, too. Presumably this was developed by people with too much time on their hands FOR people with too much time on their hands. Also, give us a break—your dog drinks from the toilet.

-Lastly, in food news from around, um, all over the place, Los Angeles-based food critic Jonathan Gold died on July 21. If you’ve got a couple minutes, this podcast from NPR is a pretty good one. RIP, Mr. Gold—you influenced an entire generation.

Finally

We’ll take a moment to remind you one last time about our Best of Santa Fe party in the Railyard on July 27 from 5-9 pm. It’s free. Be there.

A Totally Scientific Breakdown of The Fork’s Correspondence

Number of Letters Receieved
18

Most Helpful Tip of the Week (not edited for content)
“Reports are circulating that many people are foregoing the search for the Forest Fenn’s treasure and, instead, are searching for the identity of The Fork.” *we’ll never tell

Actually Helpful Tip
“Sooo, my tried and true method to reheat pizza is to microwave the slices till warmish. Then put in a non-stick skillet on medium low until the bottom is nice and crispy. Yum. Same thing works for next-day quesadillas! Gas works best but you gotta go with what you have.”
*Thanks to Forkefean Denise for the handy tip. As we told her, The Fork household has been dabbling with making our own pizzas, so we’re glad to have a two-pronged method for the ol’ re-heat.


Have you been going to sfreporter.com/food for our latest? This week, our stalwart sommelier and foodie friend Mary Francis Cheeseman has the lowdown on a local ceramics company that makes one-of-a-kind cups specifically for whiskey. Why is that a thing? You’ll just have to read and find out!

Do you hear the forkers fork?
The Fork