This may surprise you, but The Fork is never ever Scrooge McDuck-ing it in a vault full of physically impossible swimable coins and such. Nickels and dimes count—especially since we like eating out because it's clean and there are no dishes and, despite what plenty of people will tell you, there is no meal more satisfying than the one somebody else makes and hands to you. Why else would restaurants be so dang popular? But when we're out there ballin' on a budget (by which we mean trying to get as much value as possible so we have leftover cigarette money), there are a few places we like to keep in mind. Let's break them down by neighborhood, shall we?

Downtown
We live (close to) downtown and work downtown, so we often grab a quick bite downtown to eat over our desk while working. You know, like an animal. Anyway, when we're stretching our checking account, we obviously make a point to swing by the Burrito Company (don't forget to ask them for fries inside the burrito—we say this a lot, but it's important), but we're actually gonna talk about The Beestro. Have you nerds tried the stuffed pita with falafel? You should. At $6.95 and stuffed with things like carrots, eggplant, tahini and more, it's a steal.

St. Michael's Corridor
We don't want you to think we only ever eat burritos and such, but we're going to set aside our long-standing love affair with Felipe's Tacos and tell you to de-snob for a visit to the Sunrise Family Restaurant. We've had lunch here, which has been great, but since brekkie is the best meal of the day, let's talk about the Sunrise Plate—a glorious concoction of eggs, home potatoes and your choice of chile. "But, The Fork!" you're exclaiming. "That just sounds like a brekkie burrito sans tortilla!" To which, we haughtily reply, "So?" Thing's $7.95. Do it.

Over Toward the Southside But, Like, Not ALL the Way
Whilst compiling SFR's Restaurant Guide some months back, The Fork and stalwart art director Anson Stevens-Bollen embarked on a mission to find kick-ass local food trucks. Oh, there were the usual suspects, but one stood out in a way we need to share. Meet La Pupuseria y Lonchera La Provedencia—a fine place to pick up a pupusa for $2.25 apiece. They've got other things as well (every food truck has a burger except for the ones that don't), but if you've never had a pupusa, you've never lived.

The Southside
If you look in the pages of SFR's print edition this week, you'll find great stuff about a new probiotic café and some smaller restaurant reviews we call Small Bites. Smart, right? Anyway, if you're looking all up in there and/or are gonna be on the Southside, stop by PC's Restaurant & Lounge for a cup or bowl of green chile stew. It'll only set you back $4-$8.

Midtown
Don't argue, don't listen to your idiot friends, don't make a scene and don't disobey The Fork—it's time to put Red Enchilada on your list. "What's under $10 there?" you ask? SO EFFING MUCH, THAT'S WHAT!

So obviously we know this doesn't cover Gary Oldman-style EVERYONE, but it's a good start. Where do you like to go when you're dining cheap? Seriously, we're asking. We could always add more places to the ol' repertoire.

And now you know what we're talkin' about.

Also

-Dion's (that's the pizza joint with the ranch dressing we all love) has named a new CFO—Stan Hrncir, a former CPA who we hear has admired the integrity of Dion's leadership for years. Word. Think he could tell us a good way to heat them bad boys up the next day? 'Cause we've yet to hit on one tried-and-true method that always works.

-We're gonna throw out another mention of the Santa Fe Master Gardener's Association again because their editor, a very nice woman named Sarah, sent us a friendly note, and we think that's cool. Gardening, it seems, makes people nice. Anyway, check them out right here.

-A bunch of Santa Fe restaurants were honored in Wine Spectator's 2018 Restaurant Awards. Congrats to The Compound, Geronimo, La Casa Sena, L'Olivier, Luminaria, Restaurant Martin and TerraCotta Wine Bistro. Whew! We think that's all of them. Dang, it's good to like food and live here, right? Right.

-We also hear that Kakawa Chocolate House is opening a second location near Meow Wolf and Second Street Brewery's Rufina Taproom. You know Kakawa, right? They make all those fantastic elixirs and concoctions and stuff. Reportedly, the area is now being referred to as the Midtown Innovation District. We liked ours, SiDi (Siler District) better, but if you slap the word "innovation" on something, the TED Talks are soon to follow, so …

-Also, La Posada announced a new executive chef named Tom Kerpon whom we hear has cooked for some of the best resort eateries in America.

-Finally, locally, for all your history buffs, Arroyo Vino has a few seats left for their Bastille Day dinner on July 14 with wines from Kermit Lynch. Visit the site or call 983-2100 to find out more. But what is Bastille Day? Well, let us tell you: In 1789, you could hear the French people sing, singing the song of angry men in the streets. It was the music of a people who would not be slaves again. So these angry people stormed the Bastille, a crazy-ass French fortress built during the Hundred Years War in the 1300s and full of stuff like grain and weapons and prisoners and stuff. See, the French monarchy of the time had incurred massive debts, but they were still buying, like, golden chandeliers and diamond teapots and champagne-filled bidets and shit, and the common folk were pretty bummed. Not even the celebrated chief of all French police, Javert, could stop them, and it's estimated something like 24,601 people died during the storming. The infamous criminal Jean Valjean, who'd been imprisoned there earlier, wasn't around anymore, but it's still historically relevant, as was the crop failure of the previous year which had led to famine in France. And that is why today, every July 14, we drink wine and eat well.

-As always, send us those tips and tricks from the local world of food. We want 'em!

More Tidbits

-Over at Food&Wine, writer Sarah Begley gets to the bottom of why airplane food sucks so bad. Turns out, thanks to science, we know now it’s because the ultra-dry air muffles our sense of smell, background noise impacts our sense of sweet and salty flavors and the weird cabin pressurization makes us feel all wonky. Don’t discount that flying is literally being in a sideways building hurtling through space, either—that’ll stress anyone out.

-If you’re flying that plane to a beach getaway, heed Bon Appetit’s words and consider the muffuletta as picnic sammie. Why? Because it’s amazing, dammit.

-The folks at Smucker’s (it HAS to be good, right?) announced it is selling its American bakery arm to some private equity firm for over $300 million. Apparently they’re gonna focus on pet food, coffee and snacks instead. Smucker’s will reportedly maintain its Canadian bakeries. No word on whether that’s because of the legal cannabis situation up there or if it’s just because Canadian people are more polite.

-Also in Smucker’s news (that’s a lot of Smucker’s, we know), the company picked up Rachel Ray (she’s like Martha Stewart for kooky people who aren’t all deadly serious all the time) dog food brand Ainsworth Pet Nutrition. And now you know who owns this company when you’re buying food for the dogs.

-Over at NPR, find a fascinating story about government subsidized rice in Indonesia. And then feel bad about how much food we throw away in America—ourselves victims to areas with major food shortages.

-No more Polish dog combos at Costco food courts apparently has people reeling. We think we’d kind of be like, “Oh, drag” at best, and that’s if we even cared to begin with.

-And finally, in the most important news of all, it turns out dogs are partial to fats while cats like carbs. Both are cute.

Finally

We got some great tips about coffee spots this week, particularly Java Junction in Madrid, a place that one loyal Fork reader says has the best patio ever around. We also hear 35º North off the Plaza has great coffee. By the way, the Mac keyboard shortcut for the degrees symbol is alt-0.


A Totally Scientific Breakdown of The Fork’s Correspondence

Number of Letters Receieved
17 (Again, dammit!)

Most Helpful Tip of the Week (not edited for content)
“You’re wrong.” *note: we’ve heard these words uttered so many times in our life

Actually Helpful Tip
Smart Dogs aren’t good. *note: we know


As always, visit sfreporter.com/food for our latest and, this week, to learn why you should be eating more fermented foods. And keep rolling in with the tips and such. We love connecting with you readers—you’re all so cute.

Forkin’ it and forkin’ it and forkin’ it well,
The Fork