Get a glimpse at how the Albuquerque congressman and the rest of New Mexico's delegation are ranked for good looksLocal NewsMonday, July 27, 2015
For those who think Santa Fe Mayor Javier Gonzales is quite the handsome man and could pass for Ben Affleck on a good day, they’d better brace themselves and make room for US Sen. Martin Heinrich.
Heinrich, an Albuquerque Democrat born in Nebraska, is currently ranked No. 1 as the sexiest politician on Capitol Hill, according to sexycongress.net.
The website, whose rankings are fluid and keep changing by the moment, puts the rest of New Mexico’s delegation further down on the list. Nambé's Rep. Ben Ray Luján, also a Democrat, is No. 53; US Sen. Tom Udall, the ranking Democrat from the state, is No. 174; and US Rep. Steve Pearce, a Republican from the southern region, is No. 411. (Although, it must be noted, that since the weekend, Pearce has managed to move up from No. 416, proving that beauty isn’t just in the eyes of the beholder but subject to how many votes are cast, and that’s only fitting, given that these men are politicians.)
On the flip side, that is to the say among the females, check out the ranking for US Rep. Michelle Lujan Grisham. She earned No. 26 in a field of 102 women, with the No. 1 total babe award going to US. Rep. Tulsi Gabbard, D-Hawaii. At least for now. Kirsten Gillibrand, a Democratic representative from New York, is holding No. 2.
Now, this not breaking news. Please do not be misled by the power of the pen (or in this case, the computer).
Instead, this is just a sort of funny story on the fact that there’s an actual website out there that’s ostensibly taking the votes from the people for the people, then compiling the information after asking, point-blank, "Who would you rather have sex with?”
Then, it gives you, the conscientious voter, the choice between two candidates. The results are released in the moment, in nanoseconds. It's sort of like that running tally with the deficit clock that we so often see ticking away as it counts off the trillions.
In a day and age of Internet dating, Instagram, Twitter and Facebook, it’s not uncommon for a mugshot to gain instant celebrity, as was the case with the hot guy from Stockton who had such piercing blue eyes that the crime he was accused of committing (felony gun possession) was overlooked by cyber masses, who could have well passed for teenyboppers during Beatlemania.
So it’s only natural then and was only a matter of time, really, that someone created such a site to honor Congress by merely posting their political mugshots, replete with a flag in the background. They are now being ranked, but by no means being held accountable, on the basis of their good looks rather than their policies.
Leave it up to us, then, to decide, for certainly they are too busy and in the throes of gridlock to contemplate their sex appeal or hold their own beauty pageants, right? It's the will of the people, once again.
And yet, you’d think that maybe one press secretary, one administrative assistant, one legislative aid would comment on Heinrich’s obvious good looks, the fact that he earned No. 1 out of a field of more than 400.
At Tom Udall’s office, from which press releases inundate my mailbox on a daily basis, the response was just as silent. Not a word.
They keep us updated with every move that Udall makes, and yet nothing on his ranking, which, really, isn’t all that shabby for the 67-year-old.
From Pearce’s office to Luján’s, down the line, they passed the buck.
Not even the canned, “We don’t really obsess with such matters; we’re too busy trying to make New Mexico and America better on a daily basis. Next question please.”
Instead, it was, “Let me take your name and number, and we’ll get back to you.”
Only one person in nearly a dozen attempts at getting a comment made a remark from the heart: “That’s awesome! Who was number one?”
That, of course, came from Gillibrand’s office in New York. She then quickly took it all back and forwarded me to yet another press secretary.
But toward the end of the day, we stand corrected; this came from Heinrich's office. Something of the canned variety, once again:
"This week in the Energy and Natural Resources Committee, Senator Heinrich will be participating in the markup of broad, bipartisan energy legislation that addresses a wide range of national energy opportunities and challenges.
"This could last a couple days. He also intends to be involved in hearings in the Senate Armed Services Committee on the Iran nuclear deal. Additionally, the Senate is debating the Highway Trust Fund and efforts to fund it before it runs out of money at the end of the month. Senator Heinrich is focused on these and other important matters."
Now that's hot.
Credit goes to Comedy Central's @midnight show for tipping us off. Watch their segment: