07.27.167 DaysWednesday, July 27, 2016
SEN. TOM UDALL HAS TAKEN TO CALLING DONALD “TRUMPENSTEIN”
Just when you thought someone might take the high road.
FLOTUS BRINGS DOWN THE HOUSE AT DNC CONVENTION
And she used her own words.
DNC CHAIR RESIGNS FOLLOWING EMAIL LEAK
You’d think people would stop sending incriminating emails all the time.
GARY JOHNSON CLUELESS ON HARRIET TUBMAN
Here’s to the party of liberty and freedom.
SFR’S BELOVED COPY EDITOR JOE FATTON MOVES TO VIRGINIA
Were going too miss you deerly, Joe!!
HASTINGS OUT OF BUSINESS
Don’t laugh. Your parents needed something to do before “Netflix and Chill.”
EARLY GREEN CHILE HARVEST
Farmers Market says city’s big parking hike is hurting the popular Saturday eventLocal NewsWednesday, July 27, 2016
Peg Luciano adjusts a box of peaches as she works at Pat Montoya’s Family Orchard stand. Pretty soon, she’ll have to stop by the meter and drop in a few more coins. Like the other workers at the Railyard Farmers Market, Luciano now has to pay as much as $12 for a day for parking. It makes a considerable difference to what’s left from her paychecks.
“I’m only making a small amount an hour working for the farmers,” Luciano says.
The city’s new parking rates went into effect at the beginning of the month. On-street metered parking rose from $1 to $2 an hour for the first two hours, and $3 for each additional hour. For shorter time periods, as are often needed at the city’s main post office, the rate jumped to 5 cents a minute, meaning visitors better hope there’s not a long line. Off-street parking, however, like at the Railyard Municipal Garage, dropped from $2 to $1 for the first hour, with a rate of $2 for each additional hour and a maximum daily rate of $12, an increase from the previous rate of $10 per day.
The rate change comes with the implementation of Santa Fe’s new fiscal year budget and renewed efforts to minimize debts like those incurred for parking garage construction.
The city also discontinued the discounted rate of $1 parking before noon in the Railyard Municipal Garage for the Saturday Farmers Market. For market vendors, who typically arrive at the Railyard as early as 5 am and don’t leave until after 2 pm, the full day rate of $12 now applies.
City spokesman Matt Ross tells SFR, “This giveaway to the Farmers Market folks, as much as we love to do that sort of thing and support the Farmers Market, got eliminated in order to balance the budget.”
Ross says there was “a lot of effort around notifying the general public. The New Mexican ran articles, the Journal ran articles and we did our own social media work.”
Yet, Brian DeSpain, the president of the Farmers Market board, says there was no notice from the city.
“The Railyard Corporation, who we work with, basically told us the day before,” DeSpain says. “It wasn’t enough time to notify our customers or our membership.”
Sandra Brice, the events and marketing director for the Santa Fe Railyard Community Corporation, says they learned of the change, ironically, from Farmers Market Institute Executive Director Kierstan Pickens, two days before the rates took effect.
DeSpain noticed an immediate change in his interaction with customers. “It’s made shopping very uncomfortable because people are worried about getting a ticket. … They’re rushing in, stuffing stuff in their bags and getting out.”
Peaches Malmaud has been selling garlic oil at the Farmers Market for 20 years. “This is our sixth location since I’ve been here,” she says of the market’s home in the Railyard. “This is the hardest one for parking and it discourages locals from coming.”
Market Manager Devon Kaiser says while it’s only been three weeks since the parking rates increased, “the effect has been immense and immediate.” Money that previously could have been spent on groceries now goes toward parking. “It just sucks, because the city’s making up their budget shortfall on the backs of the Santa Fe Farmers Market.”
Ross suggests the Southside Farmers Market as a more affordable alternative, “where parking is completely free. It extends access to people who may be of a lower income throughout Santa Fe.”
DeSpain says Ross has “obviously never attended the Southside market. Farmers Market Southside is much smaller. To suggest that is a bit disingenuous.”
While the Saturday Farmers Market at the Rail-yard offers produce from about 130 vendors, the Southside market is still in its infancy. “The optimistic way of looking at it is we might get people to some of these other markets that we work really hard on but aren’t as popular,” says Southside market manager Lani Ersfeld. However, as the Southside market exists to service Santa Feans who can’t make it to the Railyard, those who live downtown may have the same problem getting to the Southside. “It’s really difficult for some folks to get across town, especially in the afternoon around rush hour,” Ersfeld says.
DeSpain hopes to work with the city to find better solutions. The Railyard market has also recently opened on Wednesday nights from 4 to 8 pm. Parking is free after 6 pm. As for the Tuesday market, customers can take advantage of free parking next to
Warehouse 21 before 10 am.
07.27.16EavesdropperWednesday, July 27, 2016
“I am trying to talk to you about our real lives, not your Pokemon.”
—Overheard at the Matador
“Why are the pages coming out double-sided?”
“Because the printer is a sentient being.”
—Overheard at SFR HQ
Send your Overheard in Santa Fe tidbits to: firstname.lastname@example.org
SFR Picks: Really Good Bad, Bad Things
The Pillowman promises just the right speed of torturePicksWednesday, July 27, 2016
Years ago, friends of mine went to see a production of The Pillowman and returned raving about it, but also looking a little battle-scarred, as though the shape of their nightmares had forever shifted. That I missed it haunted me—what had they seen, and what did they now know that I did not?
The Pillowman opens on a freshly arrested writer, Katurian (Hamilton Turner), living in an authoritarian dictatorship and finding himself at the mercy of a torture-happy good cop/bad cop duo (Hania Stocker and Warren Houghteling, respectively). For Katurian, “Once upon a time” perpetually precedes people doing horrible things to one another, which really isn’t all that far from the fairy tales children still grow up with. But now children have begun to die in the bizarrely twisted ways that killed off some of his characters, so the police have arrested him and are threatening him with execution. Ditto his not-all-there brother.
The interrogation cues the retelling of some of his stories, played out in a stark fashion that mirrors their sparse language. In his parables, even what we might see as common and good impulses become weapons of self-destruction. So, too, do their hideously dark moments illustrate the thin barrier between what makes us laugh and what makes us wince.
If you heard murmurs that the Santa Fe Playhouse is pivoting to more experimental and edgy terrain, that promise is certainly delivered upon in this choice, which was declared at its 2005 New York City debut the most exciting thing going on by The New York Times.
The Pillowman offers no territory for the young or easily squeamish. It is not, to be clear, the kind play everyone will enjoy seeing, but it is exactly the kind of work that everyone should see and allow to skew their perspectives for a moment. If only a brief one. (Elizabeth Miller)
Through Aug. 7. $20-$25
Santa Fe Playhouse,
142 E De Vargas St.,
Everybody Walk the DinosaurOhio/Pennsylvania’s Digisaurus has a pretty neat trick up their sleeve: the ability to straddle the fence between commercially viable rock and Grandaddy-meets-Prince-esque synth-pop that is so dancey, so festive, so catchy that all y’all suckers are just gonna love it. “I think it’s a different, new sound that I don’t think is typically out there,” says front man/producer/synth player/guitarist James Allison. “We take a lot of influence from the past and put a modern spin on it, so it’s familiar enough for people to grab onto but new enough for them to experience something different.” Digisaurus also boasts quite the live show with smoke machines, lights and other fun surprises. “We really try to create a show experience,” Allison adds. (Alex De Vore)
9 pm Thursday July 28. Free.
530 S Guadalupe St.,
Self-AwakeningIf misogyny and materialism have kept you away from rap music, it’s time to give it another shot with Albuquerque-based rapper Wake Self, a man who represents a growing social conscience in hip-hop. His new album, Malala, is named after Pakistani women’s education activist Malala Yousafzai. Wake tells SFR that her story inspired him and the hope his album will lead more people to learn about her. While Malala deals with heavy subject matter like “social patterns and psychological disorders,” Wake says not to worry—his upcoming show at Meow Wolf will be so upbeat, “your face is going to hurt from smiling.” (Andrew Koss)
9 pm Saturday July 30. $10-$15.
1352 Rufina Circle,
In the Napkin-Know5. Gallery opens its doors for the very first time Aug. 1 with a show titled Arbeit: Frank and his Dream. The gallery’s founder, Max Baseman, tells SFR, “In many ways the show is inspired by brute or raw art and artists; works created out of necessity that are more compulsion than decoration.” The gallery sent notifications via snail mail announcing its inaugural exhibition with names of participating artists (Rodger Walker, Haste Bowditch, Chris Alia and others) and details typewritten in stark black with an acutal typewriter, on a thin paper napkin. The invitation sparked our design-fancy and Baseman says he hopes people leave the show feeling “a certain sense of silence.” (Maria Egolf-Romero)
Arbeit: Frank and His Dream
5 pm Monday Aug. 1. Free.
2351 Fox Road
You May Be A Winner!
And the best lip-piercing parlor on Galisteo is…Blue CornWednesday, July 27, 2016
You’ve probably seen the big news: SFR today announced the results of the 2016 Best of Santa Fe competition.
If you live in Santa Fe, you know that’s a pretty big deal for the first, second and third-place winners in our roughly two million separate categories. Local businesses and other entities soon will be festooned with their BOSF certificates and the bragging rights that come with them.
Indeed, there is a restaurant out on Cerrillos, which still proudly displays its BOSF award from 2003. I’m not making this up. My thinking is, Hey, buddy, if you haven’t won anything since then, you might want to accept that your best days are behind you.
People ask me how the BOSF awards are chosen. It’s complicated, especially now that readers get to take part in the nominations as well as the voting. Without going into the full methodology, the process involves a series of primaries and caucuses held in yoga studios around Santa Fe, and then George R.R. Martin pulls color-coded pinecones from a burlap bag.
Our BOSF judges this year carefully tallied the reader nominations, and then removed Bernie Sanders’ name from every category. Sorry, Bernie, you don’t get to be the Best Sushi Bar on Canyon Road, no matter how much your supporters whine about it.
While the BOSF system works very well, the Reporter has asked me to take an objective look and suggest possible improvements in 2017. They also advised me not to take it personally that the 2016 award for Best Humor Column in a Weekly Santa Fe Newspaper went to some guy who died in 1998, so I guess I’m cool with that.
The full list of actual BOSF categories is so dizzying, I misread one as Best Electric Shopping Experience. I really did. Whoops, make that Best Eclectic Shopping Experience, and congratulations on your well-deserved win, Doodlets!
Let’s look at the 2016 results. Best Business on St. Michael’s Drive, Best Business on the Southside, Best Breakfast Burrito… Well, shoot, there’s your problem, right there. Your categories aren’t specific enough! Sure, we have lots of categories, but we could always use more.
How about Best Onion Rings on Johnson Street? My vote would go to Terracotta Wine Bistro. Best Shrimp and Grits on Johnson Street? Georgia, hands down. Best Lemon Meringue Pie on Johnson Street? Sweet Lily!
See how that works? By creating more specific categories, we can paper the town with awards, and nobody will feel like a loser! Well, nobody except maybe that 2003 restaurant out on Cerrillos.
Some of our categories don’t make sense to me. Why do we have Best Dentist, for example, but not Best Doctor? Don’t you think there’s a proctologist just wishing he could hang up one of our award certificates, after washing his hands, of course? And how about Best Dentist Who Works Out of a Sedan, so Santa Fe’s own El Dentista has a shot at some glory?
But here’s my main recommendation for next year. One very popular new local business is conspicuously absent from today’s results, I guess because it was just opening its doors as the BOSF nominations were underway. But next year, for sure, we need a slot for Best Repurposed Bowling Alley Featuring a Victorian Mansion With a Secret Refrigerator Tunnel.
The pinecone, please, George?
Well, I’ll be goddamned! The winner is Meow Wolf!
Robert Basler’s humor column runs twice monthly in SFR. Email the author: email@example.com
InterabangSavage LoveWednesday, July 27, 2016
I’m 28 years old and live in the Midwest. I’m intersex, but I identify as female. I am not out about being born intersex. Due to surgeries and hormones, I look like a fairly attractive female. I have been hanging out with a chill hetero guy, and things are getting very flirty. Is it unethical of me to not disclose my intersex-ness to him?
-In New Terrific Erotic Romance
“We all have to make decisions about what we disclose to partners or potential partners and when we disclose it,” said Alice Dreger, historian of medicine and science, sex researcher, and author.
Dreger, for readers who may not be familiar with her, is the Founding Board Chair of the Intersex Society of North America and the author of Galileo’s Middle Finger: Heretics, Activists, and One Scholar’s Search for Justice. Intersex, for readers who may not be familiar with the word, is an umbrella term covering dozens of different inborn conditions.
“They all involve someone having something other than the standard male or standard female body as those are defined by doctors,” explained Dreger. “There are lots of different ways to be intersex, including some so subtle that you might never even know you had that particular variation of development.”
So that chill hetero boy you’re thinking about disclosing your intersex-ness to, INTER? He could be intersex himself and not know it. But you do know it, and does “knowing it” obligate you to disclose?
“Lying is a bad idea, of course, but she’s not lying by presenting herself as a woman and identifying as a woman,” said Dreger. “She is a woman, just one whose body came with some parts that aren’t common to most women, or maybe lacking some parts that are common to most women (depending on her particular intersex condition).”
Dreger suggests making a mental list of the things a long-term partner might want, need, or a have a right to know about your history and your body. Then using your best judgment, INTER, decide what to share with him and when to share it.
“For example,” said Dreger, “if this chill hetero guy talks about wanting kids someday, and the letter writer is infertile, she might want to mention sooner rather than later that she was born with a condition that left her infertile. Do her genitals look or work differently than he might be expecting? If so, she might think about when it would be best to give him some guidance about how her body is a little different and what works best for her.”
Each of us has to balance our partner’s legitimate right to certain information, INTER, with our right to medical privacy as well as our physical and emotional safety.
“There’s no reason for her to feel like she has to announce, ‘I’m an intersex woman.’ She could opt to say, at some point, ‘I was born with congenital adrenal hyperplasia,’ or ‘I was born with androgen insensitivity syndrome,’ or whatever her specific condition might be, and then answer his questions,” said Dreger. “If the label ‘intersex’ were part of her core identity—a critical part of who she feels she is—then she might want to tell him early on, just as someone might talk about her ethnicity if that’s really important to her. But otherwise, she can disclose just like non-intersex people do with regard to fertility, sexual health, sexual sensation, sexual preferences, and sexual function—at a pace and in a way that promotes a good relationship and makes you feel honest and understood. And no one can tell her she has to use term ‘intersex.’ That’s entirely up to her.”
Follow Alice Dreger on Twitter @AliceDreger.
My husband looks at porn… porn of women with a body type almost the polar opposite of mine… Example: big boobs and tattoos… Does that mean he’s no longer attracted to my body? I’m so confused… He says I’m hot and sexy, but what he looks at does NOT make me feel that way.
-Personally Offended Regarding Nudes
Is it possible your partner is attracted to… more than one body type? Example: Your body type and its polar opposite?
And if your partner were looking at porn that featured women with your exact body type… would you feel affirmed? Or would you be writing to ask me why your husband looks at porn of women with your exact body type when he can look at you? And is your husband sharing his porn with you… or are you combing through his browser history? Either way, PORN, if looking at what he’s looking at makes you sad… maybe you should stop looking at what he’s looking at? And if he’s not neglecting you sexually… if he isn’t just saying he finds you hot and sexy but showing you he does… why waste time policing his fantasies?
People enjoy what they have and fantasize about what they don’t. So long as we don’t take what we have for granted… it’s not a problem… unless we decide to make it one.
What are your favorite uses for the butt plug besides putting it in your own butt or someone else’s butt?
-Fun Faggy Question
They make lovely paperweights, FFQ, and perfectly proportioned pacifiers for adult babies. But at our place, we use decommissioned butt plugs to play cornhole—which is a beanbag toss game that became popular in the Midwest some years after I moved to the West Coast. (It’s true. Google it.) When I was a kid, we were instructed to run from drunk uncles at family picnics who suggested a little cornholing before dinner. But that was then.
We all have to die, Dan. How would you most like to go?
-Genuinely Not A Threat
In a tragic rimming accident.
My partner and I got married last weekend. For his vows, he wrote a hilarious, wonderful song. (He’s a professional singer in Los Angeles, so the song was pretty spectacular.) I’m a Femme Dom who loves ropes, while he’s pretty vanilla. Despite that, we’ve had a dynamite sex life for the last eight years, in part because he’s so GGG. Early on, I got him to start reading your column, and that concept made a huge impression on him. Here’s the verse from his song/vows that you inspired: “Now next I should obey you / But that one’s a little tricky / I’m what you call “vanilla”/ And on top of that I’m picky / Instead of blind obedience / I hope it’s understood / I promise to continue / Being giving, game, and good!” Thanks for all you do!
-Beloved Revels In Dan’s Love Education
Congrats on your wedding, BRIDLE, and thanks for a lovely note—one that will give hope to kink-discordant couples everywhere. Perfect fits, sexually speaking, are rare. But whip a little GGG into the mix, and that imperfect fit can become a perfect match!
On the Lovecast, Dan chats with the directors of the movie Tickled: savagelovecast.com
with Marie Sena3 QuestionsWednesday, July 27, 2016
Every artist at POP Gallery’s upcoming Memento Mori show opening Thursday, July 28, brings something brilliant to the table but, with respect, former Santa Fean Marie Sena is the one to watch. By melding designs from tattoo, santero, medical illustration and more, Sena’s retablos bring a modern twist on a decidedly New Mexican artform. We spoke to Sena, who now lives in Dallas, about the show.
It seems like not a lot of people outside the tattoo world know your background is in medical illustration?
Isn’t that crazy? There’s not a lot of people who realize there’s this very small niche industry there or the discipline behind the charts you see at the doctor or the illustrations in a medical textbook. I kind of stumbled into it accidentally. It was this two-year master’s at UT Southwestern and it was kind of like med school boot camp. I was in the med classes learning everything that the med students were learning. I liked it because it was like art for a purpose, art for more than art’s sake.
Your work is steeped in tattoo and also religious iconogrpahy. Did you grow up religious or did you just like the imagery?
Both. I was in Catholic school since kindergarten, but I’m also always drawn to old religious iconography or, like, Albrecht Durer engravings. Being raised in New Mexico around all these churches, it’s just something that’s always going to be a part of me. I’ve been doing Spanish Market since 1996, and that artwork is such an undeniably specific part of New Mexico.
And POP Gallery is your exclusive representation here?
They are! I was a big fan pretty much right from when they opened and I was lucky to develop a relationship with them so that when I was starting to look for representation, they just said, “Sure!” Aren’t they just such a cool space?
Eat at Plaza Café Southside and #SFRFoodiesSmall BitesWednesday, July 27, 2016
Plaza Café Southside
While the Plaza Café downtown may recall the City Different’s Greek roots, its Southside compatriot feels more firmly planted in the charms of another era—a chrome-plated, neon-lit, milk-shaking era. The Plaza Café Southside fuels indulgences in the classic pleasures of a hamburger and French fries ($11.95) or 8-ounce grass-fed rib-eye steak and cheese enchiladas ($21). Wander off the beaten (and beef-driven) track to try the crispy avocado tacos ($12.95), avocado encrusted with crunchy quinoa, sesame and poppy seeds topped with a colorful splash of pickled onion, cilantro, corn and red pepper and accompanied by a trio of salsas, the smoky red salsa matching particularly well. Round your meal out with a slice of caramel apple pie ($6.45), or get a little adventurous and go for the red velvet flan ($6.45), a dense layer of red velvet cake with creamy flan on top, a melt-in-your-mouth, expletive-inducing combination. Enjoy it all inside, amid the vinyl and chrome, or take it outside onto a pleasantly shaded patio on the San Isidro Plaza, facing the Regal Stadium 14. (Elizabeth Miller)
3466 Zafarano Drive, 424-0755
Breakfast, lunch and dinner daily
Come across something food-like that’s worth commemorating, like these beautiful fries or apricots? Share it on Instagram using #SFRfoodies.
Star Trek Beyond Review: Space Sadness
A thoroughly disappointing enterpriseMehWednesday, July 27, 2016
Space: the final frontier. An infinite vacuum of darkness wherein a film series can come out strong and full of promise but then eventually devolves into a by-the-numbers affair that repeatedly follows the same plotlines apparently forever and ever while its custodians keep busy on other IPs like Star Wars. Thus is Star Trek Beyond.
When we rejoin the crew of the Starship Enterprise in the midst of their 5-year mission to, uh, study … space stuff, tensions are high. James T Kirk (Chris Pine and his hairless chest) is listless, and his stalwart crew is feelin’ it, too. Crazy things have happened to these people, much of which we’ve seen before, but it would seem the previous insanity they’ve faced wasn’t enough to stave off space-boredom.
This is why, when the captain of an attacked ship appears alone in the Federation’s newest and most absurd space station and begs for help in retrieving her ship and crew, Kirk, Spock (a painfully boring Zachary Quinto of American Horror Story), Sulu (the always charismatic John Cho of Harold & Kumar, who is given a pointless two-second “he’s gay, how novel” backstory that even pissed off the original Sulu, George Takei), Bones (Judge Dredd’s Karl Urban), Chekov (the late Anton Yelchin), Scotty (Simon Pegg, who also boasts a writing credit for this outing) and the rest of the gang jump at the chance to lend a hand. But of course the whole deal isn’t as it seems, and the Enterprise crew winds up stranded on some distant planet thanks to Krall (Idris Elba), a mysterious space-jerk who leads a species that utilizes swarm-like military space-tactics and who wants something the Enterprise has onboard. There’s also a shipwrecked alien named Jaylah (Sofia Boutella) hanging around who loves Public Enemy, cracks wise at every turn and uses space-gadgets to space-fight everyone. Krall is pretty furious for mysterious space-reasons, and he circumvents the aging process by space-vampiring the redshirts.
And it’s weak. The promised peril never feels urgent, and it isn’t even that we can blame the actors for bad performances—the writing is just boring; hackneyed, even. This is odd considering Simon Pegg’s usual caliber of work, but the infinite Star Trek loop of “crew gets in over their head/crew gets separated from ship/crew perseveres while doing whatever it takes to get things done” goes so beyond formulaic (maybe that’s the Beyond to which they were referring) that it’s borderline irritating. No new ground is tread whatsoever to the point that it’s hard to tell if Beyond is even actually different from 2013’s Into Darkness, only this time we don’t have Benedict Cumberbatch’s wild and wooly magnetism to even things out. As villains go, Elba ranks among the flattest, and his ultimate motive is so thin and tiresome that they could’ve easily chosen just about anything else for better results. Thus, the film feels lazy. Plot points are telegraphed so obviously, interactions feel forced and tiresome and, worst of all, audiences are underestimated. This particular reboot series certainly has promise and deserves credit for its alternate timeline subtext. That said, the filmmakers behind the series have done better before, and it sure would be nice if they’d try a little harder next time.
Star Trek Beyond
Directed by Justin Lin
With Pine, Quinto, Cho, Pegg and Elba
Violet Crown, Regal, DeVargas