Oh, those Mayas…always good for a laugh! Your Xoloitzcuintli has the runs after someone fed him dark cacao? Blame your Mayan friend. Somebody rearranged the colored feathers in your headdress to represent the gay flag? Look no further than your giggling buddy with the oblong head. Sure, other pre-Columbian civilizations like the Mixtecs and Aztecs had evolved calendars, but the Mayan one—dating back to the 5th century BC and uncovered in the 16th century during the Spanish conquest of Yucatán—is the Britney to their Mandy Moore (somehow “It’s Mandy Moore, bitch!” doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it?)

Each year, SFR publishes an annual gift guide to kick off the holiday season. We do it after Black Friday—because, as it turns out, Black Friday isn’t about gifts. According to a survey by the National Retail Federation, approximately 60 percent of Black Friday shoppers planned to spend money on “non-gift items”—to the tune of $140. So, now that we’ve treated ourselves to those “non-gift” flatscreens, iPads, pea coats and platforms, it’s time to think about others. In this year’s gift guide, we’ve grouped presents by category—food, drink, books, games, toys and so on. There’s something for everyone in here, and we’ve tried to focus as much as possible on local retailers and suppliers. Sure, it’s easy to find everything your new puppy might need at Petco, but a couple of local shops do it better, with eco-friendly beds, organic treats and high-quality jackets to keep him warm. Read about much more in the ensuing pages—and then get out there and support your local economy! And, of course, happy holiday wishes from your favorite local alt-weekly! Disclaimer: Prices may vary for the items listed; SFR has ensured their accuracy to the best of our ability.

Giving the gift of words is kind of like buying someone perfume: It’s hard to know where to start, harder to know exactly what your gift recipient really likes and distinctly possible you’ll end up bringing another white elephant into the world. (Really, just don’t ever give anyone perfume. Trust me.) That’s why we asked for a little help this year from two of our favorite local booksellers: Garcia Street Books and Collected Works Bookstore. Conveniently, their suggestions are even categorized by gift recipient—so hopefully, you’ll know just what to do.

The second installment of SFR’s annual writing contest features the winners in the nonfiction and poetry categories. With a nod to one of 2012’s biggest news stories, we asked the nonfiction writers to expound upon the subject of drought—literally, metaphorically or however they could envision it. Poets were asked to use the phrase “It’s a trap!” as their starting point, and the three winners (as poets are wont to do) offered us no shortage of imagination.

It’s become a well-known fact that, when it comes to our annual writing contest, SFR makes Santa Fe’s many talented authors jump through a few hoops. Fiction writers were allowed to write about any subject they wanted, but with one caveat: They had to include the words “Susana,” “howling lampreys” and “insidious” somewhere in their stories. In the nonfiction category, with a nod to one of 2012’s biggest news stories, we asked them to write about drought—literally, metaphorically or however they could envision it. Poets were asked to use the phrase “It’s a trap!” as their starting point, and the three winners (as poets are wont to do) offered us no shortage of imagination. SFR will publish the three winning fiction stories this week, followed by the winners in nonfiction and poetry categories next week.

This year’s Winter Guide comes right on time. The days are shorter, the air is chillier and, as of the time of this writing, snow was finally in the forecast. Those of you who long for the pure, piney solitude of first tracks on the Taos steeps can use our updated, improved ski grid to branch out to other locations (Sipapu usually opens first!) or explore some of the top local destinations for great snowshoeing. If you’re less thrilled about traipsing around in the cold, at least learn how to bundle up —or just cozy up at one of Santa Fe’s welcoming bars for some inner-warming libations. Finally, if you do nothing else, read Anicca Cox’s soaring tribute to winter in northern New Mexico —an homage to the truly incomparable magic of a Santa Fe winter.

  

Back in February 2010, Carly Fiorina—the former CEO of Hewlett Packard and, at the time, Republican candidate for one of California’s seats in the US Senate—released a low-budget campaign ad characterizing her primary opponent as a “demon sheep.” More than three minutes long, the ad featured ugly clip art, melodramatic voice-overs and a man crawling around on all fours, sporting a poorly designed sheep costume and glowing red eyes.

This year's 10 Best Restaurants.

SFR's 20 Favorite Restaurants in Santa Fe.